Me and You
by cynosure23
Summary: It's all about me and you.
1. Chapter 1

**I** _ **always**_ **end up posting the first chapters of my stories early and I guess this is no different. BUT I need to power through at least the rest of** _ **Free**_ **before returning to this.**

… …

He had caught my eye right away.

In the swirl of lights and the pounding music, he had managed to catch my attention from across the room.

"I saw you watching me," he said in my ear, gripping my hips as we danced close.

"Well, it must have worked then," I replied, thankful for my high heels. They put me close enough to reach him.

It was hard to tell in the flashing lights, but I thought his eyes were blue, maybe green. His hair was short, but long enough for me to run my hands through as we continued to dance. He was tall- really tall, not to mention seems to have an amazing body under his flannel shirt and jeans. And he seems to be older than me, but that translates into a sense of confidence and attractiveness that I cannot deny.

"What's your name?" He asked, his mouth right by my ear again.

"Bella," I replied, peeking up at him through my eyelashes. "You?"

"Edward."

I nodded, letting my hands rest on the front of his chest for a moment. I glanced over his shoulder to where my friends were, and had to hold back a laugh when I saw them grinning widely and gesturing enthusiastically.

"Are you here alone?"

He shook his head, looking over my shoulder. "Bachelor party," he explained. "Although the groom already went home. You?"

"No, I'm with friends. It's actually my birthday," I explained.

"Happy birthday," Edward replied, his breath sweet in my ear. "Can I buy you a shot?"

I nodded, letting him pull off of the dancefloor and over to the bar. It was a little quieter over here, not by much, but we could hear each other without shouting.

"What's your poison?" Edward asked, gesturing towards the bar. "I'll have what you're having."

"I, uh, actually don't know." It was my twenty first birthday, after all. And despite the fact that I had always partied in college, my knowledge of drinks was limited mostly to straight shots, cheap beer, and wine coolers. "Surprise me."

"Two 252's," he called to the bartender. "Twenty one?" He asked, watching with a smile as I fumbled in my wallet for my ID.

I nodded a little bashfully, tucking a loose piece of hair behind my ear. "Yeah."

"I don't even remember my twenty first birthday," he said, a little ruefully, as he handed me my shot. "Here's hoping you remember yours."

I threw back the shot at the same time he did, wincing as I did so. It was strong.

"What's in that?" I asked, wiping at my mouth.

"Rum and whiskey," he explained. "No good?"

"Not…"

"Sweet enough?"

I nodded, and he turned back to the bar. I didn't hear what he ordered this time, but he turned around with two more glasses.

I accepted mine willingly, sniffing at it. "What is it?" I asked.

"An orgasm," Edward said with a little laugh. "It's got Bailey's in it."

We both took ours, and he was right, it was sweeter. Not candy sweet, but rich. I liked it.

"Thank you," I said, returning my empty shot glass to the bar.

"You're welcome," he replied easily, doing the same. Then his hands found my hips again, and I stepped forward almost unconsciously to close the space between us.

We held eye contact for a long moment, and I couldn't resist any longer. He was gorgeous, and I wanted him.

"Edward, do you want to get out of here?" I asked, watching as his lips curved up into a smile.

His hands left my hips, but one of them found my hand, instead. "Lead the way."

… …

He was a good kisser. In the parking lot, in his car, in the lobby of my building, in the elevator, and now, in my bedroom. The lights were dim but I still got a better look at him than I had in the club. His eyes were green, and his hair was a dark auburn color. And he was gorgeous- even though I had been able to ascertain that in the club.

"Bella," Edward breathed, kissing from my mouth down to my neck. I arched my back, wanting him closer. My hands found the buttons of his shirt, making quick work of it. He shrugged out of it, and I practically salivated at the sight of his bare chest. "Your turn," he said, reaching down and tugging on the hem of my short dress.

I let him pull it off of me, and delighted in the grin that took over his face. He moved away slightly, and I watched unabashedly as he stripped out of his pants. He was wearing a dark pair of boxer briefs, his erection straining against them as he pulled my underwear down and quickly discarded my bra, as well.

"Fuck," I cried, tossing my head back as he slipped a finger into me and curved it upwards without preamble. Edward grinned as he felt my obvious desire, spreading the wetness around for a moment. "I want you inside me," I panted out, reaching for the waistband of his boxer briefs.

He shimmied out of them in no time, then hopped off the bed in search of his pants. I laid back and waited, watching him as he found his pants and pulled a condom out of the back pocket. He knelt in front of me on the bed as he slipped it on, then dropped to his elbows.

Our mouths met and our tongues tangled together, and I giggled as he rolled us over. "Sit on my cock," he ground out, still holding my hips.

I reached down and put him inside of me. Both of us groaned, and I took a minute to get used to the feeling of him, the way he stretched me. It was almost painful, but it hurt so good. He waited until I rolled my hips against him to move, thrusting up into me. I met him thrust for thrust, loving the way his body moved and how it made me feel.

"You look so sexy riding me," Edward said a few minutes later in a gravelly voice, smirking up at me. "Fuck, you like that?"

"Yes," I said desperately, feeling my orgasm building up. The buzz from the alcohol coupled with the sexy, sexy things Edward was doing with my body made me feel like I was on top of the world, ready to fly.

I closed my eyes, but Edward reached up and cupped my face with one hand. "Open them," he demanded. "Look at me."

I did, staring into his eyes and stunned by the amount of passion I saw there.

"Edward, I'm gonna…I'm gonna come," I panted, grabbing his hands and holding off for dear life as we continued to move against each other. "Oh my god."

He held eye contact with me as I fell apart, soaring. He moved slow, letting me ride out my orgasm and regain my breathing before sitting up slightly to gain better leverage. He gripped my hips, moving me and up and down rapidly as he pounded up into me. I held onto his shoulders for dear life, tipping my head back so that he could kiss my neck.

It felt like he was everywhere, surrounding me; consuming me. I don't even know him, but I couldn't deny the chemistry between us. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before.

I focused on him, and held him close against me as he came with a few more thrusts. I sagged against his body when he finished, kissing him softly. He held me close for a minute as he regained his breathing, trading soft kisses back in forth, but eventually nudged me off of him.

"Where do you want me to put this?" He asked, gesturing to the condom.

"Bathroom is right there," I said, gesturing to the closed door.

He nodded, disappearing for a moment and then quickly climbing back into bed when he returned. I kissed him again, but was surprised when he returned the kiss with fervor, rolling me onto my back.

… …

Wrapped up in the sheets and still sweaty, I looked up at him.

"Hi," he murmured, resting his hand on the back of my neck.

"Hi." I kissed his chest before resting my head there, absorbing his warmth. "Do you want to stay?"

"If you don't mind."

I nodded, snuggling closer. His hand fell to my back, rubbing gently. "I hate the end of birthdays. All the excitement, and then…it's just over. And it's twelve more months until the next one."

"Did you have a good birthday?" Edward asked.

"The best."

"So…you're twenty one. Still in school?"

"No, I graduated from a two year program in May," I explained.

"What do you do now?" He seemed genuinely interested, so I didn't mind his questions.

"My program was in medical coding. I like it fine, but I still want to go to nursing school…I'm saving up money now. And working with local hospitals and doctors offices has been a great experience."

"I see."

Nodding, I turned my head to look up at him. "What about you?"

"Oh, I'm a psychologist. Industrial-organizational. I work with companies hands on, but I also teach a few classes."

I had known that he was older than me, but now I wondered how much older. "Are you a doctor? A PhD, I mean."

He chuckled. "Kind of. I have a PsyD in IO Psychology. I'm a doctor of Psychology."

"Wow," I replied. "So you're, what? Twenty eight, at least?"

"Thirty three, actually," he answered.

Wow was right. Thirty three…twelve years older than me.

"You don't look thirty three," I said with a laugh.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Edward said with an easy smile.

"It was meant as one," I assured him. "So…thirty three, and not married?"

He paused, and I immediately regretted my comment. That was probably pushing it too far for having just met this guy at a club. But he spoke before I could retract my comment. "Widowed, actually. But it was a long time ago now." Then he smiled at me, an easy smile that told me he wasn't bothered by my question. "So…twenty one, and not married?"

"I'm still sowing my wild oats," I laughed. "I'm young."

"You are," Edward agreed, letting his hand drift down under the sheets and palming my ass. The playful air that had filled the room was suddenly gone as he kissed me again. "Come here…"

… …

"Thanks for breakfast," Edward said, standing in the doorway.

I nodded, suddenly a little shy. "Thanks for last night."

He smiled lazily, and bent to kiss me one more time. "Anytime."

I knew I'd be taking him up on that.

"Bye, Bella," he said, and then he was gone.

Shutting the door behind him, I sighed. Wow.

And as if on cue, my phone started ringing from the other room.

"You have impeccable timing," I said, laughing as I answered.

"It's a best friend thing," Rosalie answered. "Now spill, girl. That guy was absolutely gorgeous. Are you going to see him again?"

"I think so," I said, unsure myself. "He gave me his number."

"How was it?"

I sank down onto my bed, grinning up at the ceiling. "Amazing," I said easily. "The best."

"Tell me about him!" She squealed. "As your old lady, been in the same relationship for four years friend, I demand to know."

"Come on, Rose, you know I don't give dirty details," I said in a scolding tone. And it was true. Even when we had been roommates, I had always been more reserved, especially when it came to guys. Our other roommate, on the other hand, had always been more than happy to gossip about sex with us. Alice, Rosalie, and I had balanced each other out perfectly.

"Oh, I know you're not Alice," Rosalie teased. "She would have already given me the good details. Just tell me about _him_ Bella."

Now that, I would do. "He's older," I said immediately. "But so, so gorgeous."

"I know how gorgeous he is, silly, I saw him at the club. Quite the catch, but you're gorgeous, too. And how much older?"

I bit my lip. "Twelve years."

"Wow."

"That's what I said," I giggled.

"An older man. Experienced. Nice."

Rosalie would never judge me, or any of her friends, so I knew she was being serious.

"So, you said you'd see him again…when?"

"I don't know! I…I don't think he's really interested in a relationship or anything. And you know that I'm not, either. Not right now," I replied.

And I was serious. I had dated someone seriously over the summer, and although Jacob had been a great guy, it had made me realize that right now, I didn't want to be in a relationship. I was young, and I was more interested in my building my own future before building one with another person. I wanted that someday, but just not now.

Even with someone like Edward.

… …

It had been two weeks. I stared at my phone, feeling unsure. I wanted to see Edward again. I knew I did. But I didn't want to seem clingy, or like I wanted a relationship. It would have been much easier if he would text me first.

But he didn't, so I took a breath and picked up my phone.

 _Going to Mandarin tonight with a big group…maybe you could come by after?_

I quickly hit send, biting my lip. Luckily, I didn't have to wait long for him to reply.

 _How about I meet you there?_

 _Perfect_.

… …

 **Thoughts?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Fourteen hours at work, and I've lost my mind. Screw it, I'm posting the next chapter. In other good news, I'm about one third of the way done with the next chapter of** _ **Free**_ **so expect an update there soon, as well.**

… …

It was the end of September now, but the heat lamps on the rooftop lounge and the alcohol coursing through my veins made the temperature feel perfect. We had been here for over an hour, laughing, drinking and dancing. Most of my friends were still in school, but were always down to go out on the weekends. I loved that I was old enough to do this stuff now, because I was the last out of my friends to turn twenty one.

There was a large group of us out tonight, both guys and girls, and although we were having fun, I caught myself scanning the rooftop looking for Edward.

He had said he'd meet me here, but we hadn't been specific on a time. So in between drinks and dancing with Rosalie and Alice, I was keeping an eye out for him.

"You're so obvious," Alice teased, pinching my arm gently.

"Stop!" I cried. "I'm just…I'm just-"

"Horny," Rosalie snorted, making me smack her.

I knew that they were just teasing, but I refocused my attention on them. It was, after all, supposed to be a fun night out.

Half an hour passed before I felt a hand on the small of my back, and I whirled around to see Edward standing there.

He smiled, but neither of us spoke before I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his neck. It was a stretch, but with the help of my heels, I could reach his lips.

The kiss was short but still passionate, and he was grinning down at me after we broke apart.

"Hi," Edward murmured, his hands still around my waist.

"Hi." I kissed him again, just a peck, before stepping back slightly. "Have you been here long?"

"No, only about fifteen minutes," he answered, making me giggle as he pulled me closer again. "I was glad that you texted me. It's good to see you."

We kissed again, and even though I wanted him to take me home, I agreed to grab a drink.

"Thank you," I said as he handed me my drink. "So…how have you been?" I asked, sipping on it.

"Good," Edward replied, his eyes crinkling as he smiled. "I ended up going to a conference in Atlanta last minute, and I was there for a week. Otherwise, I think I would've talked to you sooner." His hand slid higher up on my thigh as I spoke, and I felt my heartbeat quicken.

"Well, you're here now."

"I am."

We talked and drank for several more minutes, exchanging smiles and touches. Eventually, I couldn't stand it anymore, and I was practically in his lap as we kissed. "Come home with me," I whispered in his ear, biting gently.

"Let's go," he murmured, standing and taking my hand.

I'd had a lot less alcohol tonight than the first night we were together, but my senses were still heightened. I loved the feeling of him, and the way he made _me_ feel.

… …

"Mmm, come here," I said, reaching out for him as soon as he tossed me onto my bed.

He obliged, stretching out on top of me and holding himself up on his elbows as he kissed me. His hands cupped my face at first, but soon they traveled down my body and began pulling at my clothes.

Soon enough we were both naked, all warm skin and fevered kisses.

Edward pushed into me in one hard thrust, groaning. "You feel so good."

I tried to speak, but he was fucking me so hard all I could do was moan and meeting his hips thrust for thrust. Instead, the sound of skin against skin filled my small room, punctuated by moans and heavy breathing.

"Oh my god," I managed, running my hand down Edward's back. My hands found his firm ass, and he smiled against my mouth as I squeezed.

"Do you like that, baby?" He asked after I moaned loudly. He was hitting exactly the right spot inside of me, and the cocky smile on his face told me that he knew it.

The minutes seemed like seconds as we moved against each other, and it felt so good that I never wanted it to end.

But it did, and I laid in Edward's arms, breathing heavily. He kissed me again, hungry and relentless, until I reached down. "You better go get rid of that," I said, squeezing gently.

He groaned and kissed me soundly, but finally rolled off of me and disappeared into the bathroom for a moment. He collapsed back onto the bed on his stomach, one eye peeking out at me. "You," he said, "are fucking incredible."

I giggled, pulling him on top of me again. We kissed for several more moments, then Edward rested on his side, running his hand up and down my bare arm. "I really am glad you texted me."

"Good," I said, suddenly a little self-conscious for some reason. "I…I was a little nervous, honestly. Because I hadn't heard from you. I thought…" I trailed off, and Edward frowned slightly.

"Hey." He sat up a little, resting on his elbow. "I have a lot of fun with you, Bella. Really. I mean…you're incredible. _It's_ incredible." Edward's hand found my hip and travelled up slowly, squeezing my breast gently.

I shifted beneath him, my body responding to his touch but my mind racing.

"I don't want you to feel weird," I said quickly, realizing what direction he was probably headed in. "I have fun with you, too. That's it."

He nodded, pensive. "And is that…okay with you?" He asked.

"More than okay," I said honestly. "I'm not…looking for anything serious."

"Neither am I."

"So…we're agreed?" I asked, smiling coyly. "Just sex?"

He chuckled, kissing me firmly. "Speaking of which…"

… …

I woke up to a cold bed, but breakfast smells coming from the kitchen. I pulled my bathrobe out of my closet, wrapping it around me as I exited my bedroom.

"Hey, gorgeous," Edward said, smiling at me as I approached. He leaned over the counter to kiss me, and I reciprocated eagerly. His mouth always felt so good on mine; I was starting to crave it. "Sorry to wake you so early…I have a class today at nine."

I glanced at the clock, seeing that it was barely seven o'clock. "That's okay. I have a lot of work to do today, actually."

We chatted as he finished cooking, and by the time he slid a plate loaded with bacon and eggs in front of me, I was practically salivating. "You didn't have to cook," I said in between bites, "but this is so good."

"I don't think it tops the waffles you made me, though. Next time," he leaned over and snuck a kiss, "you're making those again."

I nodded, glancing over at him somewhat shyly. "Sounds like a plan…maybe we can get together again next weekend," I suggested.

"Maybe," Edward said, kindly but also noncommittedly. "I'll have to let you know, okay?"

"Okay. Edward?"

He looked over, his eyebrows raised slightly. "…Yeah?"

"I was serious when I said I didn't want anything other than casual," I said firmly. "I don't want you to think I only said that because you did. I'm happy with my life, and I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now. Work and getting ready for nursing school are enough for me. But you're so sexy, and so _good_. I want to see you…casually. I just wanted to you know…so that we really are on the same page."

"Well, thank you," Edward said. "I appreciate that, and I'm glad we can be honest with each other. I feel the same way…I don't want anything serious, but I think we have great chemistry. I just have to be honest and upfront, because this has bitten me in the ass before. I've been married before. I don't think I ever want to do it again."

I smiled slightly, reaching over to take his hand. He let me, squeezing once. "I understand. Can I…how long has it been?"

"Since my wife died?" Edward asked, and I nodded. "Almost ten years."

"Wow. So…you were young. Still in school. I can't imagine."

"It was a long time ago," Edward said, repeating what he had told me two weeks ago.

I wanted to ask so many more questions, not because I wanted to pry, but because I was genuinely curious. I didn't want a serious relationship, but it was nice to feel some kind of bond with the person I was sleeping with.

So I let it drop, going back to our breakfast and easy conversation.

… …

"God, I'm not looking forward to going back to that," I said, looking over Rosalie's shoulder as she studied.

"At least you get a break," Rosalie replied, elbowing me.

I rubbed her back encouragingly, then fell backwards onto her bed. Alice, Rosalie, and I had shared an apartment while we were all living on campus, but now that I was out on my own and they were upperclassmen, they had moved into a small place close to campus. I missed living with them, but we were still close enough to spend some evenings together.

"I give up," Rosalie announced, slamming her accounting book closed. "How was your night with _Edward_ the other night?" She asked, climbing up onto her bed with me.

"You are so nosy," I groaned.

"Hey, you were the one dry humping him at Mandarin." She was laughing now, loud enough to attract Alice's attention.

She popped her head into Rosalie's room, one earbud out. "What are you laughing at?" She asked, giggling herself.

"Bella's sex life," I said with a groan.

"Oh, goodie." Alice climbed into bed as well, grinning. "Go on, tell us more."

I sighed, but couldn't help but smile. "It was good. We established some _boundaries_ ," I said, testing out of the word. "We're going to keep seeing each other. Casually."

"Are you sure that's what you want?" Rosalie asked, furrowing her brow. "I know the whole relationship thing didn't work out with Jacob, but this is different-"

"I'm sure." I cut her off, not unkindly. "And I'm also sure it's what he wants. It's great- we're actually on the same page about it, and we're having fun. I know you're a relationship kind of girl, and you have been forever, but I'm not the same way. I'm happy for you and Royce but it's not what I want right now."

"So, you do want it eventually?" Rosalie pressed, her hand on her chin. "With him?"

I sighed. "Eventually. But with _someone_. I have no idea who. Edward made it pretty clear though that he _doesn't_ want that. With anyone."

"I wonder why?" Alice mused, looking curious.

"He was married before," I reminded both of them. "He said he doesn't want to do it again."

"Hmm…" Rosalie raised her eyebrows, looking skeptical. "I don't think I could be involved with a guy who felt that way."

"Yeah, well, good…because _you're_ not," I pointed out. "This is my thing, okay? I know what I want; I know what I'm doing. I'm not like you, and Edward isn't Royce."

Thank god- even though Rosalie had been with Royce for longer than I had known her, I couldn't stand the guy. If that was what a serious, long term relationship looked like, I didn't want to be a part of one. They had been together for so long that sometimes I worried she stayed with him because it was so familiar, even though he didn't always make her happy.

"I know that," Rosalie said, her tone more gentle. "I want you to be happy. I'm sorry if it comes across differently."

"Thanks, Rose. I appreciate it, but I'm good."

"Anyway, back to Dr. Sex," Alice said, lightening the mood immediately.

We dissolved into giggles again, and I gladly shared a few details.

I just had a feeling that this would be amazing.

… …

 **Thanks so much for reading! Now back to** _ **Free**_ **I go : )**


	3. Chapter 3

**ETA: Wooow, sorry guys I totally added chapter three of _Choices_ on accident. This is the correct chapter : )**

 **Welcome back! Thanks so much for reading.**

 **I** _ **finally**_ **finished my story** _ **Free**_ **and marked it complete, so focus is back on this and** _ **Choices.**_ **That story still comes before this one, but I figured I'd work a chapter of this in as often as I can. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

… …

"Do you want to go to the gym with me?" Edward asked, looking up at me from where he was sitting on the edge of my bed tying his shoes.

"Sure," I said easily, tousling his hair as I walked by him. "Where do you go?"

"The university gym. It's free to students and faculty, and you can use my guest pass."

"Oh, _well_ , if I get to use your _guest pass-"_

He cut me off, grabbing me around my waist and pulling me onto his lap effortlessly. He kissed my teasing away, then patted me on the butt. "Get dressed, or we'll never get to the gym."

As tempting as that was, I quickly got dressed in some yoga pants and an old t shirt. I flopped back onto my bed to put my shoes on, and couldn't help but grin as Edward stepped in front of me, grasped my shoe, and starting tying my laces.

I laid on my back, watching him silently. He smiled down at me, and I felt myself grin back.

Edward was…incredible.

We'd known each other for six weeks now, and we were having fun together. Yeah, our relationship was completely built on sex and we liked it that way, but we were also becoming real friends. He was so easy to talk to, and was always up for going out to eat or spending an entire weekend together.

It was nice to be able to spend time with him without having to worry about commitment or a serious relationship. We lived in a little bubble- it was fun and satisfying above all else. We left a lot of our lives at the door when we were together, but that was what we wanted. No meeting the friends and family, no worrying about labels or relationship status's. There was just great sex…and companionship.

… …

"Have you thought about going here?" Edward asked, taking a long drink from his water bottle. We had both finished working out, and were walking back to where Edward had parked his car. "The nursing program is very highly spoken of."

"I have," I said with a nod. "I have a visit scheduled next month."

"Psht. Don't let those undergraduate kids take you on a tour," Edward scoffed. " _I'll_ take you. I know the director of the nursing program- I can introduce you."

I hesitated a little. That would be incredible, and possibly very beneficial to me. But was it crossing the line? "Wow, really?" I asked. "You think that would be…okay? I mean, not weird?"

"Hey, we're friends," Edward laughed. "It's not weird."

"Okay. That would be great. Thank you."

I pecked him on the lips, but he turned the kiss into more. I let him, loving the feeling of his lips on mine and his strong arms under my hands. We had so much chemistry that I felt like I was burning, and in the most delicious way.

This was _always_ how it was when we were together, and it was addictive.

… …

"No way."

I turned from where I was washing vegetables in the sink, seeing Edward staring at one of the many things stuck to my fridge.

"What?" I asked, abandoning the carrots and zucchini in the sink and coming up behind him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and peered around him to see what he was looking at.

"You know Emily and Sam?" He asked, pulling the wedding invitation off of my fridge.

"Yeah…Emily is my friend Rosalie's older sister. How do _you_ know them?"

"Sam is an academic advisor in my department, and one of my closest friends. You and I met the night of his bachelor party."

"Oh…small world."

He nodded, turning around so we were face to face. "So you'll be there?"

"Yeah, I will. Maybe you can switch placecards with someone and sit at my table," I teased.

"As tempting as that is, I think the bride might be upset if I mess up the seating at the head table."

"Oh," I repeated. "You're _in_ the wedding."

"Mmm hmm."

Edward seemed to have lost interest already, running his hands up and down my arms and kissing my neck. I eagerly let him, tilting my head so he had better access. His lips turned me into jelly whenever they were on me, and I still couldn't believe the incredible sexual chemistry between us. It was so hot, and I couldn't get enough. Luckily, Edward seemed to feel the same way.

"C'mere," he murmured, pulling me up into his arms, taking a few steps, and then depositing me on the edge of the counter.

"The food," I protested halfheartedly.

Edward didn't respond except to reach over and turn the burner off on the stove. His hands slid under the hem of my dress and pulled it up and off of me easily, grinning salaciously when he saw I wasn't wearing a bra. "This whole time, no bra?" he asked, his fingers tweaking my nipples. "That's hot, baby."

I moaned, leaning back on the counter and resting on my elbows as Edward pushed my underwear to the side and… _oh_.

His mouth is gentle, but he knows what he's doing. He eats me out like he has all the time in the world, bringing me to the edge quickly and then teasing me torturously. By the time he slides a finger into me, and then two, I'm panting and moaning like I never have before.

"You taste so sweet," Edward said, his fingers pumping in and out of me languidly. "Fuck, Bella…"

"Edward…please," I cried out, bucking my hips upwards.

His grin is wicked, but he does what I want, picking up the pace of his tongue and fingers until I'm screaming.

"You…are _evil_ ," I managed, fumbling to pull my dress back on over my head.

"No, you are," Edward argued, stopping me. "Don't cover yourself up…I want to see you."

"Dinner," I protested. "I'm starving…"

"So am I," he said with a grin. "And not for food."

I groaned, but leaned forward and kissed him. He was addictive.

He reached down and I heard the distinct sound of his belt unbuckling, and then he was gently nudging me off of the counter.

We traded places then, him leaning against the counter and me sinking to my knees. I reached into his boxers, pulling his erection out and stroking up and down. I found the moisture at the tip, spreading it around with my hand. I teased him like he had teased me, until the hand he wasn't using to brace himself against the counter came up to cup the back of my head. He didn't force it, but the lust in his eyes and his prominent erection told me he was desperate for release.

I stretched my mouth around him and went as deep as I could, letting him hit the back of my throat. I couldn't fit him all the way in but I used my hand to make up for the difference and he didn't seem to mind. His grip on the back of my head remained steady and gentle, until I hollowed out my cheeks and he started thrusting his hips.

"Let me fuck your mouth," he groaned, and I nodded the best that I could, dropping my hand to brace myself against his still-clothed thighs.

I couldn't help but moan around him as he continued, turned on again. He noticed and grinned, picking up the pace a little. "Do you like sucking my cock, Bella?"

I moaned again, closing my eyes.

"That's right, you're my dirty girl, aren't you?"

Edward finished with a groan, and released his grip on the back of my head. "Damn," he chuckled as he tucked himself back into his pants and zipped up the fly. "You are…fucking incredible."

He helped me up off the floor, and squeezed my hand once I was standing. "Your knees okay?" I shrugged. I wouldn't lie- kneeling on hardwood floor, giving head, would never be comfortable. "We'll get you a towel next time," he promised.

"You seem awfully sure that'll be happening again," I teased- but then gasped as his hand snuck under my dress again.

"You seem awfully turned on for that to _not_ happen again," he refuted.

I slapped his chest playfully, but we both knew he was totally right. Pleasuring him _did_ turn me on, just like pleasuring me seemed to turn him on, too. It was one of the reasons this seemed to be working out so well.

"You're insatiable," Edward murmured, kissing my neck. I felt myself blush, and he noticed the heat of my skin on his lips. "That's okay- so am I."

"I'm still hungry," I said, making him grin. "For _food_ ," I clarified.

But our dinner remained cold and I chased him into the bedroom instead.

… …

"You look hot," Alice commented, looking me up and down as she got into my car.

Emily and Sam's wedding was this afternoon, and because Rosalie was the maid of honor, Alice and I would be riding solo during the ceremony and most of the reception.

"Thanks, you do, too," I said. "I love your dress."

"Well thanks," Alice said, then studied me more closely. "Did you…did you get a _mani/pedi?_ Bella Swan got a mani/pedi?!"

"Shut up!" I cried, blushing. "I…"

"You're trying to look hot for Dr. Sex!" She exclaimed. "You're officially a sex addict, Bella. I don't think I want to sit next to you anymore."

I rolled my eyes at her, but she was so right.

"I should have known that you wouldn't ask me to go dress shopping with you if you weren't hoping to get sex at the wedding," she continued. "If you leave me alone at our table to go have sex in a closet, I'll never forgive you."

"You're being overdramatic," I said with an eye roll. "I want to look good for the guy I'm having sex with- I can remember like a thousand specific incidents of you doing the same thing freshman year alone."

"Okay, okay," she relented. "You're right. But hey- at least I get to meet Dr. Sex _finally_."

I smiled at her, but inside, I was unsure.

Part of what was so great about being with Edward was that we didn't have the kind of relationship where you meet and hang out with each other's friends. Plus, Edward was twelve years older than us. What could he have in common with my friends? All he and I really had in common was sex. But don't get me wrong- I _loved_ that about us. It just didn't really think it was necessary for my friends to meet him, but I didn't know how to avoid them meeting at this wedding.

The rest of the ride to the hotel was spent gossiping and catching up on each other's lives, and we were there in no time.

"Wow," Alice said, gripping my arm as we walked into the ballroom.

"Seriously," I agreed, my eyes wide. "Can you imagine how much this _cost?"_ I asked. "Probably hundreds of thousands of dollars for a big party."

"It's not a big party, it's a _wedding,"_ Alice corrected me. "A marriage."

"A marriage is never guaranteed to last. It's a party."

"Okay, you're so cynical it's depressing. Tell us how you really feel about marriage, Bella."

I shrugged, looping my arm through hers again. "You know who I am, Alice. You know how I feel about that stuff."

"I know," she said. "I just…don't know if you're that way for the right reasons. I know your parents split after like twenty years together, but stuff like that happens."

"It won't happen to me," I said firmly. "My parents had the perfect marriage, Alice. They loved each other and they were happy together. And just like that, it was over. All thanks to one stupid mistake that plenty of people make. Marriage and commitment seems impossible for a lot of people."

She frowned as we sat down, but didn't say anything else.

I sighed, reaching over and squeezed her hand. "I'm sorry," I murmured. "I don't mean to be so pessimistic about it. I _know_ tons of people marry each other and stay together forever. But sometimes, people just get hurt. And I don't want that to be me. My dad changed after the divorce. He lost so much of himself, and he still hasn't gotten it all back. It devastated him, and it devastated me, too."

Alice smiled sadly, looking down at our joined hands. "Your twenty one years old, Bella. I don't think you should limit your life so young...or take so many things off the table for yourself. You never know what will happen."

… …

 **Bella is pessimistic as fuck and she sure is close minded about this stuff. Enter Dr. Sex.**

 **Really though, she's young and she has an idea in her head that she totally, fully believes that** _ **most likely**_ **isn't true but she doesn't know that. She'll find her way eventually, I promise.**

 **Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for reading, guys! I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. I'll be updating** _ **Choices**_ **tomorrow and sometime Monday-Friday as well, if you're keeping up with that one. Not sure when this will update next but I promise it won't be too far away.**

 **Many of you have theories about them seeing each other at the wedding so let's get this show on the road and you can see where it goes!**

… …

The ceremony was mercifully short, and I got to ogle Edward in his tuxedo the whole time. Emily and Sam were a beautiful couple, but my eyes were continuously drawn to the incredibly gorgeous groomsman. He caught me peeking a few times, but other than a sneaky wink, he didn't react.

With the reception being held just across the hall in the same hotel, we were at our table with drinks in hand right after the ceremony was over. The wedding party had taken their photos before the ceremony, but hadn't come into the room yet. I still felt uncomfortable with the idea of having Edward around my friends and being around his but that didn't mean I didn't want to see him myself.

"Your eyes seem pretty much glued to that door," Alice said, sipping her wine. "Is Dr. Sex seeming more like Dr. Boyfriend?"

"No!" I cried indignantly. "I'm really sick of having this conversation- it's sex and that's all we want. I don't know his reasons exactly, but I _do_ know mine. I'm not looking for a serious relationship. The sex is amazing. And I'm happy."

"Okay, okay," she conceded. "Just checking."

I didn't believe that she done, but I wanted the subject dropped. "Rosalie looked amazing," I said, changing the subject. "And Emily's dress was so beautiful."

"Oh, I _know_ ," Alice agreed quickly. "I loved the beading on Emily's dress and she looked like a princess. And Rosalie looked smoking hot. Too bad Royce isn't here to see it."

"Eh," I said, giving her a knowing look. "Royce decided that going to watch a basketball game was more important than being here for his girlfriend of four years. And he _knows_ Emily and the rest of her family. They've gone on vacations together, and spent Christmas and Thanksgiving together. Rosalie is always hounding me about being in a relationship but if Royce is ideal boyfriend material, I really don't want one. He doesn't deserve to see her looking like that."

Alice sighed. I knew we felt the same way about Royce, but she didn't vocalize it quite as much as I did. "She loves him," she reminded me. "That's what matters."

"I know. I just wish she was happier."

"Oh, here they come, "Alice said, her attention captured by the DJ announcing the arrival of the wedding party.

I turned in my chair as well, watching as they came through the doors. Edward just smiled at me as he passed, but Rosalie blew kisses at both me and Alice. After all of them were situated at the head table, the chit chat around the room resumed. Rosalie came by our table after a few minutes, plopping down in the empty seat next to Alice.

"Hey, guys!" She said, grinning. "Wasn't the wedding beautiful?"

"So beautiful," I agreed. "You looked great, and Emily is a gorgeous bride. Are you nervous for your speech?"

"A little," Rosalie admitted. "I'm about to go work up some liquid courage, though. Do you guys want to head to the bar with me?"

Alice begged off to go to the bathroom instead, so Rosalie and I headed up to the bar by ourselves.

"I talked to Edward," Rosalie murmured in my ear as the bartender poured us both a glass of champagne. "He's really nice."

"He is," I replied, a little nervous.

"Don't worry, I didn't pester him," she assured me.

We stayed at the bar for a while, drinking champagne. Alice joined us after a few minutes, and the girl talk combined with the alcohol resulted in a lot of laughter.

"You seem like you're in a good mood."

Edward's smooth voice seemed to come out of nowhere, and I whirled around.

He was standing there, hands in his pockets, smiling crookedly. "Hey."

"Hey!" I replied, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. "You looked good up there."

"Thanks. You're looking pretty good, too," Edward said.

Alice cleared her throat, and I blushed. "Oh, um, this is my friend Alice," I said, gesturing to her. "And you've met Rosalie…"

"Nice to meet you, Alice," Edward said, shaking her hand. "Bella's told me about you. And hey, Rosalie. Gearing up for your speech?" He asked, gesturing to the glass in her hand."

The four of us made small talk for several minutes, and all the while I was eye-fucking Edward. I hadn't been kidding when I said he looked incredible in his tuxedo.

"Edward."

Our conversation stopped abruptly when a statuesque blonde approached, smiling at Edward. "I was wondering where you went?"

"Sorry, I saw Bella and had to come say hi," Edward explained. She stepped closer to him, but the two of them didn't touch. "Bella, Rosalie, and Alice, this is Chelsea Denali. Chelsea, this is my friend Bella," he smiled at me. "And her friends Alice and Rosalie."

"I know Emily," Chelsea said after greeting all of us. "We're sorority sisters."

"Oh, I recognize you from some pictures on Facebook," Rosalie said warmly. "You graduated a few years before her, right?"

"Right," Chelsea confirmed. "Good memory!"

The two of them fell into their own conversation, and Edward looked at me apologetically.

"Sorry," he murmured. "I didn't know she'd come over here."

It occurred to me then that Chelsea was probably his date to the wedding, and I was honestly surprised at the small twinge of jealously I felt.

"That's okay," I said. "I just didn't realize you had a date."

"It's not, uh, it's not a 'date'," he said quietly. "She's a friend, and she was invited to the wedding, too."

"Oh, I see," I said, confused by the sudden rush of relief I felt.

"I should get back, I promised the best man I'd let him read his speech to me one more time," he finally said. "I'll find you later, okay?"

Nodding, I agreed. "Okay."

"Save me a dance," he added in a quiet voice before kissing my cheek.

He and Chelsea left, and Rosalie and Alice were quiet as we watched them depart.

"Uh, awkward," Alice finally said. "Sorry, Bella."

"Don't be," I said, shaking my head. "She's not his date. And even if she was, It's a wedding- people invite dates months in advance. Besides…he's not my boyfriend. We're not even exclusive. Thank you, but don't worry about it." I squeezed her hand.

Alice and Rosalie exchanged a glance, but luckily didn't say anything else.

This was the nature of having a casual relationship- the other person is allowed to have other dates. The lack of commitment was one of the main reasons this type of relationship was appealing to me in the first place. We hadn't even talked about exclusivity, but the thought hadn't occurred to me before. Was that something that I wanted? No commitment but also no other people in our lives?

One of the things I worried about was that if we were exclusive, that our relationship would eventually turn into something that neither of us wanted. But was I okay with him being with other people, too?

… …

I sat alone at our table as the others danced, sipping on my wine. It wasn't for lack of partners or want that I wasn't dancing- I'd been dancing most of the night, and now I was exhausted. Rosalie and Alice were still going at it, but I needed the break. The reception was starting to wind down now as the hour grew later, but I was enjoying watching the guests that remained.

Edward seemed to materialize out of nowhere, suddenly sliding into the chair next to me. "Hey, beautiful. Why'd you stop dancing?" His hand came up to rest of my upper thigh, and mine joined his there.

"I'm tired," I said honestly. "I'm not sure my feet will hold me up anymore."

"Well, that just won't do," Edward said, standing. "You promised me a dance."

"Edward…" I complained, but let him pull me to my feet.

He laughed, tugging on my hand. "I'll hold you up," he promised.

The bass was thumping as we returned to the dancefloor, and I let him put his hands all over me as we danced close. I closed my eyes, relishing the feeling of the music coursing through me and his hands touching me. I had thought my feet wouldn't hold me up, but Edward was remedying let, letting my body practically rest flush against his.

Almost abruptly, the music cut out, replaced with a softer melody. I let my eyes open, smiling up at Edward. "Thanks for the dance," I said, placing my hands on his upper chest.

"That wasn't a full dance," he argued, taking both of my hands in his. He placed one of my hands on his shoulder, holding the other. His hand came to my waist, and he held me close.

He didn't say anything, just looked at me as we swayed slowly under the soft lighting of the dangling firefly lights.

I hesitantly let my head drop to his shoulder, but he just let me, his hand moving from my waist to my lower back.

"Come home with me," Edward said after a moment, his lips brushing against my ear. "I've been watching you tonight…the way you move…is so beautiful."

"Okay," I whispered, tilting my head up. His lips captured mine for a moment, sweet and sure.

"What about…Chelsea?" I asked, despite my assurance to myself not to worry about it.

His eyebrows crinkled as he frowned down at me. "Chelsea? Chelsea is nothing like that…I mean, she's my friend. An old friend, who I don't see very often at all. Not my lover."

I nodded, pacified. "Okay."

" _You're_ my lover," Edward murmured, not done. "Just because that's all this is between us doesn't mean I'm looking for it from someone else, too. You're free to see other people if that's what you want, but-"

"It's not what I want," I said, surprising even myself. I hadn't even thought about it since earlier tonight, but suddenly my mind was made up. "Just sex…and just with you."

"Okay," he said. "Just sex; just with you. It's just me and you."

We sealed it with a kiss before Edward's hand slipped down lower, squeezing my butt. "Let's go, baby."

I agreed, and followed where he led.

… …

 **If we're not friends on facebook, and you'd like to be, feel free to add me at Cynosure Fanfic. I'm not overly active but I do try and stay on top of posting teasers/updates and stuff. Maybe I'll see you there!**

 **So looks like Bella realized some things about their relationship…and maybe Edward too?! (BTW, a few of you have asked about the possibility of EPOV and I'm planning on it, but I'm not sure when that will happen. Something to look forward to!) Next chapter will have some more of Bella's thoughts on the whole issue and we'll get a little better of a look into her mindset and some of the ideas she's holding on to (maybe a little too tightly…)**

 **Thanks again for reading, and hopefully I'll see you guys again for the next chapter, and soon!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for tuning in, everyone! I wrote part of this chapter at work and I'm writing the rest of it in between innings of the Cardinals-Cubs game…lucky for this story, I am convinced that I will jinx the game if I watch the other team bat SO here I am writing during commercial breaks and the top of each inning. We'll see if that's enough to crank out a chapter in a decent amount of time!**

 **Baseball being back really makes me miss my story** _ **The Game.**_ **Honestly I'd write a sequel if I hadn't wrapped everything up in an epilogue…that story was just so easy for me to write and it was about something I really loved, so the writing process was doubly enjoyable for me! The amount of time I spent (probably unnecessarily) making sure every detail of story lined up with every detail of what actually happened in real life was kind of crazy, but I miss it.**

 **However, rest assured that I love writing this, as well! And** _ **Choices-**_ **I miss all of my stories when they're done but** _ **Choices**_ **and** _ **The Game**_ **are holding special places in my heart right now. Enough rambling- here we go!**

… …

Edward's house was not what I expected. After making sure Alice got a ride home from the wedding with Rosalie, I agreed to follow Edward to his place, and I had been surprised when I followed him out of downtown St. Louis and west towards one of the more affluent suburbs in the area. It was a far cry from my apartment in Delmar, and although I hadn't quite expected this, I couldn't really say I was surprised. Edward exuded maturity and he just had his life in order, while most people I knew were my age and were nowhere close to anything like this.

We drove into a gated community, and down a quiet street lined with long driveways and impressive homes. I parked behind him in his driveway and got out, holding my high heels in my hand. His house obviously fit in with the rest of the neighborhood; large and imposing, but it also suited him.

I heard the sound of his car door closing, and then Edward was walking towards me, smiling slightly but also with a smoldering look in his eyes.

He held his hand out to me, then gently tugged me inside. I wanted to look around, but he didn't give me much of a chance. His lips were on mine as soon as we were in the door, and before long he hoisted me up into his arms and was carrying me to bed.

… …

I was disoriented when I woke up, like I always was when I slept in a new place. Edward was still asleep next to me, his arm draped across my waist. I laid there for a moment, soaking up the comfort and warmth, before slipping out of bed. I hated to put my dress from the wedding back on, so I helped myself to a black tee shirt that was folded up sitting on a chair against the wall. It was soft and worn, and smelled like Edward, so I was satisfied.

I peeked out of the bedroom, glancing down the hall. I hadn't really gotten a good look at the place last night, but the stairs were down the hall and to my right, so I headed down. I was surprised at how big the house was- Edward lived alone, and even though I lived alone, too, I couldn't imagine being all by myself in such a big house all the time.

When I passed through the living room and saw a gallery wall full of family pictures, I hesitated. Some of them looked like they were from Edward's childhood, while others were much more recent. There were several featuring Edward and two of the same guys- it was obvious from their green eyes and good looks that they were all brothers.

One of the photos featured Edward and his brothers, but also a beautiful brunette. She and Edward were in the middle of the group, their arms wrapped around each other. It took me a moment to realize that this was a wedding photo- Edward was wearing a simple suit, but she was wearing a white dress and I could see a bouquet in her hand. This was Edward's wife.

I listened for a moment to make sure Edward wasn't on his way down the stairs, then refocused on the pictures. This was one of the only photos that featured the brunette- there was one with a much larger group that looked like a family photo, and then one of her and Edward in graduation caps and gowns. But that was all. It was enough, though.

Although Edward and I had become closer, this was still something that we didn't talk about, and for good reason. Edward obviously didn't want to, and this relationship was not about knowing each other's pasts or building a future. However, curiosity was getting the best of me, and I was happy it was being sated.

A creak from somewhere above me had me hightailing into the kitchen, and I was examining the contents of the fridge when Edward ambled into the kitchen.

"Good morning," he murmured, pressing a quick kiss to my lips before making a beeline for the coffee maker in the corner of the large kitchen. "Coffee?"

"Yes please," I replied, pulling some things out of the fridge. "I must say, I'm impressed with the contents of your fridge," I said, raising my voice slightly to be heard over the sound of the coffee maker. "For a bachelor, you have an extraordinary amount of fresh produce."

He shrugged, peeking over my shoulder as I started assembling my fruit. "You get sick of having takeout like, every single night after age twenty five or so," he teased.

I loved how he looked in the mornings, sleep rumbled, shirtless, and wearing his glasses instead of his contacts. He seemed to love how I looked, too, because his arms were around me in an instant.

Edward squeezed once, but otherwise remained still with his arms around my waist as I chopped up vegetables for omelets and some fresh fruit. "I love your place," I said, filling the silence. "It's so…big."

"Thanks. This was actually the house I grew up in," he explained. "My parents moved to the west coast while I was still in college, but kept the house and eventually gave it to me. My brother is a contractor, so I had him do a complete renovation a few years ago. The house needed change."

I wouldn't have guessed this house was more than thirty years old- but it made sense that this had been his parent's house. I knew Edward was well off in his own right, but a house in this neighborhood didn't come cheap.

"My place feels like a shoebox compared to here," I commented.

"Hey, I love your place," he said, repeating what I had told him. "It's cozy," Edward argued, pulling the shirt I was wearing down off my shoulder so he could kiss my bare skin.

I just shook my head and continued prepping breakfast, and eventually Edward took the hint and squeezed me around the middle one more time before stepping away. "What can I do?" He asked, surveying the food I had prepared.

"Throw the fruit in some bowls," I instructed, turning towards the stove. "And I need a frying pan."

We worked together seamlessly after that, moving around each other to put breakfast together. He fried bacon beside me as I worked on our omelets, and placed the fruit, bacon, and two glasses of orange juice on the island just as I was plating the omelets.

A lot of things we did together seemed to go like this- we were just in sync. Dancing, cooking together, sex…even just walking down the street, we managed to move together. It was why the whole thing, the "me and you", _worked._

… …

My apartment seemed especially small and empty when I came home that afternoon, doing a complete walk of shame in my dress and heels. I kicked the shoes off and shed my dress immediately, pulling on a pair of sweatpants and an old sweatshirt before crawling into my bed. Most of my Sunday was gone, but I planned on spending the rest of it being lazy in bed with Netflix.

I half-watched, half dozed through a few episodes of _Scandal_ before my phone started ringing, pulling me out of my lazy day mindset.

"Hello?" I answered, stifling a yawn.

"Hey, Bells."

My dad's voice always made me smile, and this was no exception.

"Hey, Daddy," I said, sitting up. "It's good to hear from you."

"I figured you were having a lazy day," he said, because he knew me so well, "so I thought I'd take the opportunity to see how you're doing."

"Aw, thanks," I said. "You were right- I've been watching _Scandal_ all afternoon. I'm on season two and-"

"Hey, hey, hey!" He interrupted me quickly. "I'm still on the first season!"

I groaned in mock frustration- it was expected for him to get through shows so slowly, because most of his time in front of the television was devoted to baseball and hockey. "Catch up, Dad. You have to at least get to season two before our lunch next weekend, or I'm telling you spoilers," I threatened.

"Okay, okay, you got me. I'll try to pull a Bella and 'binge-watch'."

"Deal," I said smugly.

"How was the wedding yesterday?" he asked. "The pictures looked nice."

"It was great," I said honestly. "Very beautiful, and the reception was a good time. Rosalie's parents went all out for the party."

"Glad to hear it, but don't be getting any ideas. Your wedding budget is looking more like taco bell than the Hyatt."

I snorted, rolling my eyes. "I think you're safe on that one, Dad. Take that wedding fund and by yourself a new fishing pole or something."

"More like just a new lure."

"You're killing it today with the jokes," I said dryly. "What has you in such a good mood?"

"Nothing, nothing. I'm happy to talk to my only daughter, that's all," he said innocently.

"Mmm hmm," I replied, not believing him for a second.

But he changed the subject before I could say anything else. "Have you talked to your mom lately?"

"I don't think so," I said lightly.

"Might want to be doing that soon. Her birthday is coming up."

"Dad…"

"Bella…she's your mother."

I started tearing up, feeling more frustrated than anything else. "I know that, Dad. She'll always be my mom…we're just not in a great place right now. Especially since _they_ moved to Arizona."

"Maybe you'll feel better if you talk to her," he suggested hopefully.

"Maybe," I replied, although I wasn't quite so optimistic.

Our talk continued for several more minutes, although the tone had shifted and it wasn't the same after that. But regardless, I loved talking to my dad and I missed him. We only lived about half an hour away from each other but between work and other obligations, didn't get to see each other that often. I worried about him sometimes, all alone in that house, but he assured me time and time again that he was fine.

He and my mom had been high school sweethearts, and I had come along soon after. I had always thought that they had the perfect marriage- they laughed and talked and embarrassed me with PDA.

It was something that might seem trivial or inconsequential to others, but the whole thing changed a part of me. Maybe one day I'd be able to go optimistic and open to love and marriage, but today wasn't that day.

… …

 **For anyone curious, Edward lives in Ladue, Missouri, a fancy pants suburb of St. Louis. I think the average home there is worth upwards of half a million? Maybe around 700-800k. Anyway, it's my dream suburb and I'd kill to live there.**

 **So…I don't know if any of you were even wondering, but some of my inspo for this story has come from real life experience. I was dating a twenty seven year old when I was twenty, and it totally amazed me how different his life was from mine. I was still living on campus and he had his own house, and he had two degrees before I was even halfway done with mine. So some of these feelings were exactly what I felt when I was in a similar situation. It's very jarring and kind of blows your mind, and that's what Bella is experiencing with Edward.**


	6. Chapter 6

**ETA: swear to God I don't do this on purpose and now this is the correct chapter : (**

 **Welcome back! Managed to get this one done in between working on the next chapter of** _ **Choices-**_ **hoping to update that one tomorrow or Sunday as I'm almost finished with it.**

 **I'm glad everyone seems to be enjoying this one- please continue to let me know what you think! I've been trying to reply to reviews but without fail I fall far, far behind. Just know that I read them all and I appreciate it so much.**

 **I want to get two or three chapters of** _ **Choices**_ **up before coming back to this one, but I'm hoping that doesn't take me as long next week as it did this week. We'll see!**

… …

It had been a busy couple of weeks. I had started touring campuses and learning more about nursing programs in the area, and the huge influx of information was overwhelming. Although I couldn't wait to start the next chapter of my life and work towards my dream job, worries about costs and course loads were still heavy on my mind.

Today was a girls day, spent talking and lounging around Rosalie and Alice's apartment, and it was one of the few ways that I could unwind.

"I think Royce is going to break up with me," Rosalie blurted out, making me smear nail polish all over her toe in shock.

" _He's_ breaking up with _you_?" I asked, and Alice obviously shared in my shock as she gaped at Rosalie.

"He's been so distant," she said, chewing on her freshly manicured thumbnail. "He wouldn't come to Emily's wedding, and he's barely been around in the past couple of weeks. I just don't know what's changed."

I started cleaning the polish off of her foot, totally lost about what I should be saying. I loved Rosalie and I wanted to be supportive, but it was obvious that she wanted to be with him when to me, it was clear that he wasn't appreciative of her.

"Are you still having sex?" Alice asked, filling the silence.

"Not since a few days after the wedding," Rosalie admitted. "So…it's been two weeks. It seems like a lot but honestly, after being together for four years…"

It had been two weeks since I'd had sex, too, but I wasn't nearly as okay with it as Rosalie seemed to be. In fact, I had plans with Edward tonight so that could be remedied. "Do you guys still talk about the future?" I asked. "Do you still put forth effort?"

"I do," she said immediately. "And I think about our future all the time."

"Does he?"

She hesitated for a moment, the truth painted all over her face. "We've been together for _four_ years. I don't want it to be a waste."

"It's not," Alice replied, rubbing Rosalie's arm soothingly. "Just because a relationship ends doesn't mean it's a waste. You learn so much about relationships and about yourself…you learn important lessons. Rosalie, you've been unhappy for a while. As your friends, we hate to see that. And we don't want you to think you have to stay in a relationship out of some kind of obligation. That's being trapped, Rosalie."

"We want you to be happy," I reminded her, repeating what I had said during many, many conversations over the years.

She nodded, still looking lost and conflicted. I wished there was more I could do, but this was a decision she'd have to make on her own. "I know."

… …

"Do you want another glass of wine?" Edward asked, taking my empty glass out of my hand.

"Yes, please," I said, admiring his naked form as he took both of our glasses to the kitchen and then returned a minute later with full ones.

It was almost one in the morning, but our night wasn't over.

He slid back into bed, and I eagerly curled up against his side again. We sipped on our wine, and I enjoyed the feeling of Edward playing with the ends of my hair. "Thanks for coming over," I said, setting my wine down on my night stand so that I could rest my hands on Edward's chest. "You more than made up for the two weeks we couldn't see each other." He smirked, leaning down to kiss me.

"I'm not done with you yet, either," he promised.

As good as that sounded in theory, I groaned. "I need a little break," I said honestly, reaching down and cupping him playfully. "Let's both rest up."

We settled back into each other's arms, relaxing and enjoying the after effects of the wine and candles flickering around us.

"I told you your place is cozy," Edward said after a minute, kissing the top of my head. "It's so much more comfortable."

"Get yourself a down comforter and feather pillows, and you'll never leave your bed."

"Only if you come visit," he teased.

"I like your place," I said. "It's…impressive. So much more so than here."

"I'm older than you," Edward reminded me unnecessarily. "And the house was my parents first. Give yourself a few years, and you'll be impressing yourself, too."

He had a point, but I found myself really thinking about how different our lives were. When he was my age, his life was so different than where I'm at now. "How old were you when you got married?" I asked, even surprising myself.

"Uh…" Edward shifted uncomfortably, sitting up slightly. "I was only twenty one," he said.

"My age," I commented. Yeah, definitely very, very different. It was insanely difficult to think of myself ever getting married, but especially so young. "Had you dated for a long time?"

"Through high school, then college."

"So you weren't married for very long, then."

"No."

I nodded, processing the information. I had told myself that his past didn't matter, that we were just about what was happening now, between us, but curiosity was still eating at me. "I'm sorry."

"This isn't something I want to talk about," Edward said, setting his wine glass down with a thunk and unceremoniously getting out of bed.

"What are you doing?" I asked weakly, watching as he looked around for his clothes.

"I'm going to go," he said shortly. "It's late."

"Edward…" I reached for him, and he paused, sighing heavily. "Don't go," I murmured. "I'm sorry."

He flopped back onto the bed, covering his face with his hands. "I don't know how to say this without sounding like a complete jerk," he said quietly.

"Go ahead," I said, crawling over to him.

" _This_ is one of the reasons why I don't want anything more," he said after a moment. "I don't want to talk about this stuff."

"Important stuff."

"Stuff that doesn't affect the whole 'me and you' thing," Edward corrected me. "It's not important, not to us. What we have is not about the past or the future. It's about right now. It's being comfortable with each other and have great sex and that's it. We agreed that this would be casual, and that's what I want."

"So do I," I said honestly, resting my hand on his arm. "But we're friends, too."

"Is that what we are?" He asked, the teasing tone back in his voice.

"It is."

"Okay then. I love being with you like this. But please…I'm serious. I don't want to talk about it," he repeated, turning on his side so that he was facing me. "It was a long time ago, and I'm okay, but…it just doesn't feel right."

"Alright," I agreed quietly. "I respect your boundaries, just like you respect mine."

And we did. Despite the time we spent together, neither of us had tried to turn this relationship into something else. The closest either of us had come to that was me just now, and I recognized that I had crossed a line. I was still curious, but I wasn't going to get into something that really wasn't any of my business. We could still have all the fun parts of a relationship though- sex and companionship, without getting into what neither of us wanted- serious commitment. Even though we had agreed to be exclusive, we didn't owe each other anything else.

"Come back over here," I said quietly, rubbing his back. "I thought you said you weren't done with me?"

His lips curled back up into a smile, and I squealed as he sat up abruptly and tossed me onto my back.

This was us.

… …

"Will I see you this week?" I asked, watching Edward get dressed late in the morning. It was Sunday, and per my usual ritual, I would be spending the rest of the day lazing around the house, so I didn't bother getting dressed in anything more than an old tee shirt and a pair of underwear.

"I don't know," Edward said as he fastened his watch. "What's your schedule look like?"

"I have work to do Monday through Thursday, and a visit at Southern Illinois's nursing school on Friday, but my nights are free," I said. Edward taught a night class on Monday and Wednesday nights, but otherwise he was usually free around the same time I was.

"Maybe Thursday? I've got some family stuff going on."

I nodded. "That sound be okay. And this weekend? I'm going out on Friday night…but you can come over after, if you don't want to go."

"As tempting as that sounds," he leaned over and kissed my lips, "I have plans this weekend."

"Okay," I said easily.

And it was okay- another thing I liked about our arrangement was that we weren't obligated to each other- if we wanted to make other plans, we did. Days or weeks could go in between seeing each other and neither of us had a problem with it. It made me feel more… _free_ and so much more relaxed about our relationship, and I had a feeling Edward felt the same way.

"Staying in bed?" He asked knowingly.

"For a bit. Do you mind seeing yourself out?"

"Not at all."

He kissed me again, lingering this time. I giggled as he pushed my tee shirt up, getting a good look at my bare chest before giving me one more kiss and then straightening up. "One last look for the road," he teased.

"Shut up," I cried, tossing one of my pillows at him. He dodged easily, though, and was gone too soon.

… …

 **EPOV is still in the works…maybe even next chapter or the chapter after that! We'll see.**

 **Edward is obviously touchy about the subject of his wife. The first draft of this chapter contained a worse reaction to the topic of conversation…it didn't end up fitting in here (got ahead of myself, it is tooooo soon) but I'll give a spoiler and say to just know that's coming in the future.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I hope you all had a happy Easter! I leave for vacation tomorrow but like I said, I am planning to update each story at least once while I'm gone.**

 **Finally got the EPOV done- this chapter kind of skims through the whole story so far but is entirely in his point of view. There may be more EPOV in the future, but likely only a few sections or a chapter here and there. If that changes, of course you'll find out : )**

… …

 _ **Edward Cullen**_

"What about her?"

I turned to see where my brother was pointing and grimaced. "Go for it."

"I meant for you," Emmett groaned.

"She's blonde, isn't that more your thing?" I asked, elbowing him.

We both knew I was right, so he let it drop.

"How about her friend there? The brunette. She keeps looking over here."

I _had_ noticed the brunette- she had been dancing most of the night and we had made eye contact several times. She was beautiful, young, and dancing like she didn't have a care in the world. Even if she hadn't been looking at me, I still would have noticed her. It seemed like the whole room noticed her, like she caught everyone's eye and captivated their attention. It was hard to look away from someone who shined so brightly. And it made me want her like I hadn't wanted anyone else in a long time.

"Do you mind?" I asked Emmett.

The bachelor party was all but over- Sam had left almost an hour ago to get back home to Emily, and all that was left was me, my brother, and a few others. But it was still early and I had no interest in ending the night before it have ever really started.

"Go ahead," he replied with a laugh, clapping me on the back.

The brunette continued to look at me, her mouth curving into a wide smile as I approached.

Later than night, in her bed, her smile continued to captivate me. I'd had my fair share of one night stands in the past ten years, but it had been a very long time since I had felt a connection like this. I barely knew her, but already Bella was fun and passionate, sensual and mesmerizing. However, it had only taken a few failed relationships in past decade to make me realize that was something I no longer wanted, and not even a sexual connection like this could change that.

… …

At first, coming home to this dark, silent house had been depressing. But as the years passed and the wounds started to heal, it started to no longer feel that way. It was comfortable to come back to my own place and have some peace and quiet.

It was the house that I had grown up in, and now lived in for almost my entire life. I'm sure many people thought I would move after Savannah had passed away, but this was my home even without her here. Eventually, the house had slowly transformed from the one we had shared together to my own place. After a few months, I had gotten rid of her clothing, makeup and toiletries. A year went by before I went through her jewelry box. After three years, I hired Emmett to renovate the whole house and the rest of her belongings were packed away, never to be placed out again.

They were still in the attic, sitting in unmarked boxes.

This wasn't how I had thought my life would turn out, but I had accepted it. I had good friends, a loving family, and a satisfying career. In most aspects of life, I was very fortunate. People had told me time and time again that Savannah would have wanted me to move on, and I believed that. The first relationship after her death had been a little over two years later, with a girl that my brother, Peter, had set me up with. It didn't last long, and I hadn't been upset about it.

I had met Tanya a year after that, and for a while, I thought it would last. We dated for almost two years before we both realized that I would never commit to her in the way that she wanted. My wife had been dead for more than five years at that point but when faced with the facts, I realized that the reason I couldn't commit and move forward with a relationship was because I felt that I was being unfaithful again somehow.

Casual relationships with no hope for the future became a much safer bet, and even though there was no love or commitment, I was satisfied.

… …

"How was that girl?" Emmett asked, grabbing another beer out of the fridge in our brother's garage.

"Ah, a girl?" Peter asked, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

We tried to get together at least a few times a month, usually at Peter's house. His wife, Charlotte, was an amazing cook, and he had the biggest television and the best beer selection.

"Good," I said with a shrug.

"She was hot," Emmett told Peter.

Charlotte laughed good naturedly, throwing her hands up. "I think that's my cue to go," she said, kissing her husband and then pecking both Emmett and I on the cheek. "Come in and say goodbye before you leave," she instructed.

"Thanks, Emmett," Peter said dryly after his wife had gone inside.

We both knew he was just teasing, because Charlotte was even more easy going than Peter was.

"She was," Emmett said defensively, laughing. "Edward obviously thought so too…he wasn't home when I stopped to pick him up the next morning to go to the gym."

"You stayed the night? What happened to all your rules?" Peter asked.

"There are no rules," I said with an eye roll. "I just don't want to be in a relationship."

"Does she feel the same way?" Emmett asked curiously.

"We didn't talk about it, but she's so young…and she didn't seem like she was looking for anything. And if she doesn't, then I don't see her again."

Peter frowned slightly, and I had a feeling it wasn't just because he didn't agree with my stance on relationships. "Uh…how young?" he asked.

"She was at a club," Emmett reminded him.

"She's twenty one," I said, clearing my throat. "I know that's young, but…"

"It's an age difference, but who cares?" Emmett asked. "They're both adults, and it's _Edward._ Mr. "No Relationships"."

"Hey, I don't even know if I'm going to see her again," I pointed out.

I really didn't know, but a large part of me hoped that I would. I didn't want a relationship or commitment- that hadn't changed. But something about her still drew me in and I couldn't deny that I was insanely attracted to her. Bella was the first woman in a long time that I wanted to see again, and even though I didn't understand why, I had to remember my boundaries.

… …

The weeks went by and Bella and I continued to see each other. I believed her when she said that we were on the same page, even though she hadn't told me her reasoning. I didn't really care, though, because honestly, I was getting what I wanted.

The first time we saw each other outside of our arrangement was at my friend Sam's wedding. I had been surprised to find we would both be there, and a little worried about how it would turn out. Meeting each other's friends didn't really come with the territory, but it turned out that neither of us had anything to worry about. Her friends were fine, and Bella hadn't seemed to care even when she thought that I was there with a date.

It had solidified that we were still on the same page, and paved the way for us to be in an exclusive sexual relationship. We knew that we didn't have to worry about each other being jealous or wanting more from the relationship. It created a sense of contentment that I hadn't felt in a very long time, and even though our relationship would eventually run its course and be done, we could be happy for now.

… …

 **I'm sure you caught that "again" comment up there, but rest assured it's not what you think. Edward has some issues but that's not what it seems.**

 **I don't like to talk too much about my personal life here, but I already posted this and the ring on facebook so…I am very happy to say that I got engaged this weekend! My friend got married in the morning in a small civil ceremony, where Zach and I were witnesses. We took some pictures and then he wanted to spend the day in the city. We relived our first date by watching the Cardinals game at Ballpark Village then going to the City Garden. Corny as hell but he proposed where we had our first kiss almost two years ago now! Like I said I'm usually not so open about this stuff but it was a very happy occasion. He did a bomb ass job of picking out the ring too, so I'm very proud.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm so glad all of you seemed to enjoy EPOV! There are still sooo many questions, and eventually we'll have all the answers! Some of them will come through conversations with Bella and yes, some more sections of EPOV in the future. Although this is a story about both of them, Bella will remain the primary storyteller. So it's back to BPOV now.**

 **We're still in Florida and are having a great time! So far we've been relaxing (plus hitting a Tampa Bay Rays game) but tomorrow we're heading to Disney Springs and then Epcot on Monday. Zach has never been to Disney World and I simply cannot marry him unless he changes that…I was just joking of course but he was quick to buy tickets anyway ; )**

… …

"Is Edward coming out tonight?" Rosalie asked, coming up behind me and using the mirror to fix her lipstick.

I shook my head, turning this and that way to look at my outfit. My dress was short, but it looked good. "He said he had plans this weekend."

"Huh."

I rolled my eyes at her, holding my hand out for the tube of lipstick. "He's allowed to make other plans, Rosalie. Just like I am."

"Did he say what these plans were?"

"No, and I didn't ask because it doesn't matter," I reminded her as I carefully applied lipstick. "Have you talked to Royce anymore?" I asked, not only because I wanted to change the subject but also because I genuinely cared. Rosalie had been devastated when her boyfriend had asked for a "break" but I was hoping she took this time to realize that she was too good for him.

"I haven't," she said quietly. "I guess it's a good thing, because he said he needed space, but…I don't know. It feels weird not to be 'talking'. Even though communication hasn't been great lately, it's been years since I didn't talk to him almost every day."

"It'll get easier," I told her. "It's just been a long time since you've been…well, single."

She didn't argue about my word choice, making me think that she was slowly coming to terms with the fact that some relationships weren't worth saving, no matter how long they had been in place.

We were meeting Alice and several of our other friends at a bar downtown before heading out to the clubs, and although I tried to brush it off while talking to Rosalie, a part of me did wish that Edward was coming out tonight. I knew he wasn't crazy about being around my friends and I didn't blame him, but I loved falling into his arms at the end of the night and going home together. I loved the way he looked at me while I was dancing and the way he touched me. A night out with just my friends was overdue and would be fun, but I reminded myself that I would have to schedule some time with Edward again as soon as possible.

… …

"Bella."

My head whipped around at the sound of my name, and I was surprised to see Jacob standing in front of me. We had only dated for a few months over the summer, but we had been friends before that, so I knew that he wasn't really the type to go out. This was one of the last places I thought I'd be seeing him again.

"Hey, Jake," I said, standing up to greet him. "It's good to see you," I said after giving him an awkward hug. "Do you want to sit down?"

He nodded, joining me at the deserted table. Rosalie and Alice had just left for the bathroom, and everyone else was either at the bar or on the dancefloor. "How have you been?" He asked, and I could tell that he was uncomfortable, too.

Our breakup hadn't exactly been messy, but I could tell that he'd had a hard time wrapping his head around my reasoning. I'd told him that I didn't want to be in a serious relationship, the opposite of what he had probably expected to hear. He hadn't wanted the casual relationship that I had proposed, either, so it all came to an end. It was for the best, because even though I still didn't want a real relationship, Jacob and I had never had the connection that I had found with Edward and he definitely wanted things that I didn't. Sooner or later, it would have had to end.

"I'm good," I replied honestly. "Been busy with work and looking at schools. What about you?"

"Well, I'm working full time now," he said. "I work on the same crew all the time now, so it's nice to have the stability."

"Good for you," I said. "What are you doing out? I never see you at the bars or clubs."

"Yeah, it's still not really my scene," he said with a laugh. "It was a last minute thing, though. My boss invited a bunch of us out to celebrate a bid we won yesterday, and I'm still the new guy, so…"

"I see."

An awkward silence hung over us for a moment, and I was relieved when Alice and Rosalie reappeared with a pitcher of beer and some shots.

"Hey, Jake," Alice said, handing one of the shots to him. "We spotted you from across the room- you're kinda hard to miss. It's great to see you."

He accepted the shot, throwing it back immediately. I did the same with mine, relishing the burn and the immediate effect of it. "Thanks, Alice," he said, setting the shot glass down. "I kind of missed you, shorty."

I turned away from their moment, knowing I was the reason they hadn't seen each other in the last few months. We had all been friends before and during our relationship, but of course sides had been chosen after our breakup.

Rosalie seemed to understand how I was feeling, and because Jacob had never been her favorite person, even before we ever dated, she was sympathetic. She handed me her shot, then poured me a glass of beer from the pitcher they had brought over. I drank both, already feeling a little unsteady. But tonight was all about fun, and I was determined seeing my ex boyfriend wouldn't change that.

Even though he said he had come with people from work, he didn't seem to be too eager to get back to them. He sat and talked and drank, catching up with more people as they returned to our table. I kept drinking, and by the time he asked me to dance, I was drunk enough to say yes.

"I have missed you, you know," Jacob said after a moment, leaning forward to be heard. "I'm sorry it's so weird between us."

"That's what happens when you break up I guess," I managed to say.

"Do you still feel the same way?" He asked. "About relationships?"

His question caught me by surprise, so I gawked at him. "Um, what?"

"I mean…I know why we broke up. I get that what we had wasn't what you were looking for. But do you still feel that way?"

He moved closer still, bringing his hand up to cup my cheek. "Because _I_ still feel the same way."

"Bella."

For the second time that night, the sound of my name made me turn in surprise.

Edward stood there, car keys in hand. "You wanna go?"

I was relieved to see him, even though it was unexpected. Anything to save me from this conversation.

"Yeah," I said immediately, taking his hand when he held it out to me. I turned back to Jacob, apologetic but still relieved. "Sorry, Jake, but I think I'm going to go ahead and go…" I trailed off, not sure of what else to say.

"Okay," he said, but his eyes hardened. Then he paused, looking at Edward. "Do you know him?"

"Yeah," Edward interrupted, speaking for me. "She does."

"You're Emmett Cullen's brother, aren't you?" Jacob asked, shaking his head. "Aren't you too old for her, man?"

"Jacob!" I cried. "That is _none_ of your business!"

"Whatever," he said, shaking his head. "Forget it."

He turned and walked away, and I felt Edward tugging on my hand. "Friend of yours?" He asked as we briskly crossed the dancefloor and headed towards the exit. I saw Rosalie and Alice on our way, and I waved to get their attention. Rosalie frowned, but Alice gave me a thumbs up as they saw us leaving.

"Ex boyfriend," I admitted. "Is he a friend of _yours_? He knew you. What are you doing here, anyway? I thought you had plans." I heard myself slurring my words, but Edward seemed to get what I was saying.

"I had plans with my brother tonight, and when he decided to take his crew out to celebrate last minute instead, he invited me along. That kid works for him," he explained, not looking back at me as he led me to his car.

He finally looked back at me, but his face was painted with concern. "Shit, you're really drunk aren't you?"

I giggled, starting to feel dizzy. "Yeah."

"Just close your eyes," he cautioned as he helped me into the car. "I'll take you home."

I laid my head back against the headrest, and I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, Edward was laying me down in my bed.

"Welcome back," he said dryly, noting my open eyes.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked as he pulled my stilettos off of my feet.

"For what?" He asked lightly, glancing up at me and smiling slightly.

"Being drunk and…and that guy."

"I'm not mad at you," Edward said simply, pulling my dress up over my head and helping me into an old tee shirt. "I'm sorry if it seemed that way. I just didn't think you wanted to be there."

I rolled over onto my side, groaning. "I think I'm gonna throw up."

"Fuck," Edward muttered, scooping me up again. He carried me to the bathroom and set me down just in time, holding my hair back as I retched.

I would have been mortified to be doing this in front of him, but it barely registered. By the time I was finished, he was rubbing my back.

"Are you okay?" He asked after a moment.

I nodded, holding my hand up to my mouth. I jumped slightly when I felt him wipe at my face with a damp washcloth, but the cold was soothing on my overheated skin. "Do you want to brush your teeth or just use some mouthwash?"

"Mouthwash," I managed, taking the bottle from him. After I spit into the sink, Edward was tucking me back into my bed, placing the washcloth on my forehead again.

"Do you think you'll be sick again?" He asked, and I just moaned. He set my trashcan close to my bed, then walked over and turned my overhead fan on.

"Thanks," I muttered, my eyelids fluttering. "Will you stay?"

He hesitated, but I barely processed it. "If it's okay with you…"

"Stay," I whispered.

… …

 **Thanks for reading! Obviously both of them are starting to slip up…were you surprised that Jacob showed up?**

 **More thoughts from Bella next chapter, especially about her opinion on relationships. Not sure when that will be but it will be after the next chapter of** _ **Choices**_ **goes up. Not sure if I'll be able to update either story again while on vacation but you never know- we're being pretty lazy!**


	9. Chapter 9

**This one took me a while but finally managed to get it done. More EPOV coming soon…next chapter or maybe the one after that : )**

 **It's May 5, I haven't had a day off since April 28, and that day off won't come until May 19. The first six days have been long so I can't imagine the next fifteen. So if updates are a little slow, that's why. However, I'm trying to stick to a schedule so we'll see how that goes. I usually post on facebook anywhere between two days and a few hours before a chapter will go up, unless it's at a weird time like this update. My profile is Cynosure Fanfic if we're not friends and you'd like to be.**

… …

Edward was gone by the time I woke up in the early afternoon.

My head was pounding as I sat up in bed, fumbling for my phone from my bedside table. There was a text from Rosalie, a text from Edward, and a notification from the calendar on my phone…reminding me that it was my mother's forty fourth birthday today. I remembered my dad reminding me weeks ago that it was coming up, but it had still completely slipped my mind.

We hadn't talked in months now, even though I wished that wasn't the way things were. She hadn't called me on my birthday, but I couldn't find it in me to do the same.

I found her in my contact list, then held my phone to my ear. Half of me wished she wouldn't answer, the other half hoped she would.

"Hello?"

There was an answer, but it wasn't my mom. It sounded like a child, and my gut twisted.

"Hello?" They repeated, and could hear talking, laughing and music in the background.

"Hi," I finally said. "Can I…can I talk to Renee, please?"

Another long moment passed, and I could hear the phone changing hands.

"This is Renee."

Hearing her voices brought back so many memories that I was overwhelmed by the weight of them- remembering when my mom was my favorite person and when we were all so happy. "Hello?" She said, sounding agitated. "Can I help you?"

"Mom, it's Bella," I finally said.

"Oh." She paused. "Hi, Bella. It's good to hear from you."

"Yeah…I just…I wanted to wish you a happy birthday."

"Thank you. It's been a long time since I've heard from you."

"I've been busy," I said.

That was the truth, but being busy had never gotten in the way of my phone calls before. It was that everything had changed.

"What are you doing for your birthday?" I asked after another pause.

"Oh, we had some people over and I think we're going out for dinner tonight."

"That sounds nice," I said lamely. "Well…I don't want to keep you-"

"Thanks again for calling," she interrupted. "It was nice talking to you, Bella."

"Oh, um, yeah. No problem. Happy birthday again."

We said a brief goodbye and I heard the dial tone before I even took the phone away from my ear. My mom had always been a little flighty, but before, she'd always had time for me. She'd never made me feel like an inconvenience, or put me on the back burner. But now she had, and I couldn't help but feel I'd been replaced. I didn't know a lot about her new husband, Phil, other than that their relationship had been going on for over a year before my father found out, and that he had a family, too. Now they all lived together in Arizona, and Dad and I were left behind.

The affair had come as a complete and total shock, but the divorce and her quick marriage had been worse. I knew my dad still loved her, and that this had all blindsided him. I had always viewed them as the perfect couple, and wanted what they had. Now I saw that maybe there was no such thing as forever, and I wondered if I'd be able to trust in a relationship the way I had before.

Maybe it was wrong for me to be so affected by this, but I couldn't help the way I felt. I was happy now, and I didn't want to be in a relationship. I just worried that my feelings might change, and that my heart wouldn't be able to handle it.

… …

I managed to get a little work done that afternoon, a far cry from how I usually spent Sundays. But now I was ahead of schedule and would have a little more breathing room during the week. I talked to my dad on the phone, and texted Rosalie. Rosalie was asking strange, saying she needed to talk but that it needed to wait until we met up for coffee tomorrow after her class. It wasn't like her to be so obscure, but I decided not to push her. She'd been having a hard time lately and if she wanted to wait until tomorrow to get things off her chest, I'd wait.

I read the text Edward had sent this morning, explaining that he had some work he needed to get done and that I should text him later. I intended on waiting until tonight, but was surprised when my phone rang and I saw his name on the display.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked, cradling the phone between my ear and my shoulder.

"Hey…just checking on you," he said, sounding concerned. "Did you get my text earlier?"

"I did, yeah, thank you. I was going to text you in a little while."

"Oh, okay. So…I just wanted to check in."

I glanced at the time on my computer screen, seeing that it wasn't even six o'clock. "Do you want to come over?" I asked. "I just finished up some work now."

"Sure," he said easily. "Want me to grab some food on my way over?"

"That'd be great. Whatever sounds good…just text me when you're on your way."

He agreed, and I got up after hanging up the phone. A quick shower and a change of clothes later, I was feeling more refreshed. I hadn't bothered _really_ getting dressed, just pulling on a pair of sleep shorts and a tee shirt. Edward texted me less than an hour later, saying he would be here soon. I lit some candles in my bedroom and cleared off my bed, just finishing up when I heard a knock on my front door.

"Hey," I said as I pulled it open, grinning.

"Hey," he said, pecking me on the mouth as I stepped aside to let him in. "I brought pizza."

"Ooh, yum. I have beer or wine, what sounds good?"

We both decided on a beer, and settled down at the kitchen counter to eat.

"You look like you're feeling better," Edward teased, hooking one of his long legs around the leg of the bar stool I was sitting on. "A lot less green."

I felt myself blush, but I put my hand on his thigh and squeezed gently. "Much better," I assured him. "Thanks for bringing me home last night, and for staying. I know you didn't plan on it."

"It was fine," Edward assured me, placing his hand over mine for just a moment.

"What changed?" I asked. "Why were you there, why did you…well, wait to come up to me?"

"I told you, I had plans with my brother. Originally we were going to go to the Cardinals game, but when he asked if it'd be okay if we went out with some of his guys instead, I said okay. I'd already told you I was busy…so I didn't think much of it. I didn't realize we'd ended up at the same place until I got up to pay my tab and saw you dancing."

I wished he'd seen me sooner, so that I wouldn't have ended up with Jacob…hearing him say that he still had feelings for me. "I'm glad you came up to me," I admitted. "I was friends with Jacob, but we hadn't seen each other in a long time and it was awkward."

"Well, I could see that you were uncomfortable, even from a distance," he said quietly, focusing on the label of his beer bottle. "And that you were wasted. I hope I didn't cross a line; that wasn't my intention at all."

"You didn't."

He nodded, casting a glance over at me. "Good."

It wasn't long before we finished eating, and I leaned over and kissed him unceremoniously. He responded with fervor, and before I knew it, my back was hitting my mattress and Edward was hovering over me. We kissed for what felt like hours before we undressed. And even after we were both naked, it was slow and sensual.

We might not have known all that much about each other, but we knew each other's bodies. He touched me everywhere I needed him, and I tried to do the same. Usually it was hard and fast and incredible, and this was different…it was just what we needed right now and we were taking it from each other.

He pushed inside of me right when I felt like I was going to combust, groaning when he slid all of the way in. As always, he gave me a moment to adjust, but tonight I just wasn't having it and moved my hips against his impatiently.

"What's the rush?" He asked, and I can feel his lips curl up into a smile against mine.

"I just want you," I said honestly, gasping when he starts moving his hips, too.

It's still slow but it takes my breath away, and it feels _so_ good just like it always does. I've always thought we had an amazing attraction towards each other but the sexual chemistry is nothing I've ever experienced before. Maybe that's why it's so easy for me to be with him like this.

Edward's face in buried in between my neck and shoulder, and even though I wanted him to be kissing me, the feeling of closeness is nice.

I've never been very vocal during sex, but Edward is, and it turns me on more than I thought it would. He's also pays attention, taking the time to adjust and give me what I want. The combination of him moving, hitting all the right spots, and his hand touching me where I need it has me a panting, moaning mess in no time at all.

Half an hour later, we're both still sweaty and smiling. Edward's hand rubs my back soothingly, and it's so relaxing that I could almost fall asleep.

"So you're not going out again tonight?" Edward asked, smiling knowingly.

It was still early in the night, but my stomach turned at the thought of drinking after the way it had all come back up last night. "No thank you," I laughed. "I'll be back in fighting shape next weekend, but no sooner."

"I don't blame you."

"Thank you again for taking care of me last night," I said sincerely. "You didn't have to do that."

"I know, but I didn't mind. I wanted to make sure you were okay," he murmured. "I've never seen you that drunk."

He really hadn't. We'd gone to clubs and bars together plenty, and met up after a night out. I'd been drunk around him more than once, and it was nothing like last night. I couldn't decide how candid I wanted to be- _I_ knew why I had drank so much last night, but did he need to? It wasn't like he was really asking, either.

"I know…" I said. "It kind of got away from me."

"Was it-" He shook his head. "Never mind."

I knew what he was asking though, and I decided to just say it. "No, it's okay. I didn't expect to see him," I whispered. "We broke up because I didn't want to be in a relationship, and it was really uncomfortable because we were friends before that. So it was kind of nice to see him after a long time, but then…I don't know. It soured pretty fast."

"I heard him."

"So I was glad when you came up," I told him, peeking up at him.

"He works for my brother," Edward said, repeating what he'd told me last night. "But I think he's kind of new. Anyway, he disappeared not long after we got there…to find you, I guess. I'm sorry I didn't see you sooner."

"Well, it wasn't bad until the end," I pointed out.

"Still."

I looked up at him again, confused. "'Still' what? You would've come up to take me home even if I didn't want to go?"

"No, of course not. I just…" Edward trailed off, clearly not knowing where to go from there.

I really had been glad when Edward had interrupted Jacob and I, but that was because I hadn't liked what Jacob was saying, and it made me uncomfortable. Up until then, it had just been awkward.

"He wants a relationship, I don't," I pointed out. "But things were never really right between us. There wasn't enough chemistry…attraction. It would never have worked, even if I wanted all the things he did."

Edward nodded, probably relieved that I was letting him off the hook for being possessive. Our sexual relationship was exclusive, but that meant we had to trust each other.

"You have to trust me," I reminded him. "Just like I have to trust you. We're not obligated to each other, but we need to be safe." That was the only thing I really worried about when I wasn't exclusive with someone. In those cases, condoms were a must. But Edward and I didn't use them anymore, and we had to protect ourselves in other ways. That included me taking my birth control and both of us not fucking someone else.

"I know that. I'm sorry I brought it up."

I nodded, settling back into his arms.

"Let's not talk," I whispered, trailing my hand down his chest.

He seemed to hesitate for a moment, but he dropped his head to kiss me and the conversation ceased.

… …

 **Thanks for reading! I hope you liked this chapter- let me know what you thought. See you again soon for the next update- I'm planning on sometime this weekend!**


	10. Chapter 10

**We're starting with Bella, but will hear more from Edward in the second half of this chapter. Thanks for much for reading, guys! I appreciate it.**

… …

I sat across from Rosalie, blowing on my hot coffee. She didn't seem ready to talk, so I let her take her time. Finally, she just blurted it out.

"I went home with someone on Saturday."

Raising my eyebrows at her, I took a sip and thought for a moment. "Wow. That's unlike you…but good for you, Rose. There's nothing wrong with that."

"I know, it's just…it's not me." Her voice had dropped to a whisper, and then I knew that this was really bothering her. "I mean, I'm still with Royce! He wanted space, and I went and slept with someone else. I don't know if he'll ever forgive me."

"Rosalie, does Royce make you happy?"

"He's still my boyfriend. I cheated."

"I understand why you're freaking out about this, but it's not that cut and dry. It's complicated…and the last time we talked about it, I got the feeling that you were ready to let go of Royce." I was trying to be gentle, but I also wanted to be honest with her. "You're not happy, and he hasn't been treating you very well. I know you've been together for a long time, but that doesn't mean you're supposed to stay together. Some relationships just run their course, and it's better to let them go before you end up getting hurt more."

She nodded, but didn't look at me. "I know. I know that. But it's hard to cope with."

"Of course. I understand, Rosalie, and I want to be here for you. Anything you need, just tell me."

"There's kind of…one more thing," she said slowly, finally making eye contact again. "The guy I slept with was Emmett Cullen."

I stared at her for a moment, not making the connection right away. Then my mouth dropped open. "Edward Cullen's _brother_ , Emmett Cullen?"

"Yeah."

"Wow." I set my coffee down, no longer interested in it. "How…well, how did that happen?"

"Don't be mad."

I shook my head, and reached for her hand across the table. "I'm not mad, Rosalie. Not at all. I'm surprised…and a little confused. But not mad. There's no reason for me to be."

"After you left, Jacob came back to where we were sitting. He wasn't really causing problems, he was just kind of pestering Alice and I. But you know him…he's that kind of guy. He's always been like that. Anyway, we were getting kind of fed up and Emmett came over. He talked to Jacob and I don't know exactly what he said, but Jacob got an Uber and left. Emmett stuck around for a little while and it just sort of happened."

"Do you think you'll see him again?" I was honestly curious, and Rosalie seemed pretty out of sorts about it so I wanted to understand the situation and how she was feeling.

"I think so. He was really sweet, and I think I actually like him. I mean, as much as I can after one night together and texting yesterday and today."

"Well, if you feel that way, then I don't think you have to worry about what Royce thinks or him forgiving you. Instead I think you need to end it with him for good. There are better things out there, and who knows…maybe you're on to something with Emmett."

"Are you sure you're okay with this?"

I shrugged. I did find it a little odd, but there was nothing wrong with Rosalie seeing Edward's brother. "There's nothing for you to worry about."

"Okay. I just didn't want to do anything or act on anything I'm feeling without talking about it. And I don't even know how Emmett really feels about me…I just know that if I feel anything at all for him, then you're right. I do need to end things with Royce." She paused for a moment, shaking her head. "Wow. I never thought I'd say that. I just feel like I did things the wrong way…I feel like a complete skank for sleeping with someone else."

I squeezed her hand again. "I'm here for you, Rose. No matter what. And I won't let anyone talk badly about you- including yourself."

"I know. Thank you."

She told me a little more about Emmett; how sweet and funny he was, and how he had already asked her if they could go on a real date next weekend. It struck me as funny how different Emmett clearly was from his brother. Not that I minded, because I wanted the same thing as Edward, and Rosalie wanted the same thing as Emmett. It worked for us. It was unknown now, but there was an expiration date on what Edward and I had. I hoped there wouldn't be for Rosalie and Emmett, if they really hit it off.

Our afternoon meetup for coffee turned into dinner, and then Rosalie invited me over to her and Alice's apartment to watch the newest episode of _The Bachelor._

Girl time was important, and I knew I'd likely end up staying over at their place inside of going back home because _The Bachelor_ always meant lots of wine. So even though Edward and I'd had tentative plans tonight after his night class got over with, I texted him to cancel.

 _ **Edward Cullen**_

I packed up as the last stragglers filed out of the classroom, all of us relieved to be done for the night. It had been a long class of trying to teach a lesson and cram in a review session for the upcoming exam. I was passionate about my field of work and I enjoyed teaching, but it took a lot out of me sometimes.

When I pulled my phone out of my back pocket, I saw a text from Bella, and I smiled until I actually read it.

This was probably the first time she'd ever cancelled no me- no, it definitely was. I was surprised at how disappointed I felt, even though we had just seen each other last night. So instead I went home, confused about how I was feeling.

For years, this had worked for me. I'd managed to avoid feelings and messy entanglements. Now, I felt differently and I didn't know what to make of that.

When I was sixteen, I was sure that I had met the love of my life. Savannah was beautiful and intelligent, and so kind that everyone had nothing but nice things to say about her. She was generous and selfless, and I considered myself beyond lucky that she loved me back. I proposed to her the summer before we both started college, but we waited to get married until a few years later. The time we spent as engaged couple was probably our happiest, because everything seemed like it was falling perfectly into place.

Savannah got the wedding she had always dreamed of, and I got the girl. The perfect wedding gave away to the perfect honeymoon…which was cut short. She spent the rest of our marriage sick, and by the time it was all over, she was a different person. It was the disease, not her, but the damage was done. I didn't mind being her caregiver- I would have taken care of her every single day of my life if I had been given that option. I had meant what I said when I vowed to be there in sickness and in health.

The girl I loved seemed to have died long before her body gave out, but that didn't matter to me. She was still in there somewhere, despite the things she said and the things she had asked me to do. But I didn't blame her. I couldn't.

And I'd eventually become content with my life after she passed away, something I hadn't originally even thought possible. I had realized that being in a serious relationship didn't feel right to me, so I had avoided them. I never once regretted marrying Savannah, or staying with her while she was sick. To me there was no other option, and I felt that she would have done the same for me. But I didn't feel like I could face the thought of ever going through that again, even if it was fifty years done the road. I felt like I'd given my marriage everything I had, and that there was nothing left.

At least, that's what I thought. Now I felt myself getting attached to someone who was never supposed to be permanent. That's how I'd always gotten through before- the casual relationships had been fun, and everyone involved knew the nature of it. No obligations, no futures together. Just two people taking what they needed and wanted from each other. The lack of expectations had made it easy for me.

Suddenly, that didn't seem to be working anymore.

… …

"You know Rosalie Hale, right?" Emmett talked with his mouth full, but I didn't mind. We were brothers, and we'd seen a lot worse from each other.

"Rosalie, Bella's friend?" I frowned at his question, wondering why he would bring up Bella. Did he realize I was starting to feel more for her than what we had agreed on? Was it that obvious that I was confused about what I was feeling for a girl that was supposed to be just fun? Then I realized he _didn't_ bring up Bella, I did. He just brought up her friend. "Yeah, I do."

Emmett nodded, wiping at his mouth. "Well…I kind of ended up taking her home on Saturday night."

Peter raised his eyebrows. Emmett wasn't overly promiscuous or a player, but he was never hurting for companionship and he didn't usually bother mentioning girls to us unless it was serious. And if he was saying something after just one night…we knew he had to be head over heels.

"She was the blonde we saw the night of Sam's bachelor party," I reminded him. "I should have known it was a matter of time. How'd that happen?"

"You met that guy Jacob, right?"

I grimaced, but nodded. "Yeah, briefly."

"He was the one hanging all over Bella." I didn't need the reminder, but Emmett continued. "Anyway, after you left with Bella, he went back over to her friends and I could tell he was bugging them. When I came up, he was asking them why she didn't like him enough to give him a chance and saying he didn't have her new phone number…begging for them to give it to him. I told him he was drunk and it was time to go home, and then…I dunno, Rosalie asked she could buy me a drink, and I bought her one instead. It just kind of happened from there. She's gorgeous, and she doesn't take any shit. It's kind of amazing."

"Well, good for you." Peter cracked open another beer. "Edward might be a lost cause, but maybe there's hope for you yet."

The teasing was nothing new for us, but Emmett's blush was.

… …

 **Thoughts? Someone is definitely going to crack soon, and although most people originally thought it would be Bella, it isn't looking that way, is it?!**

 **I'm in the process of getting a new story put together, and I posted on Facebook about it already, but like I said, not sure when it'll go up. The first chapter is actually almost finished but I like to get a little further into a story and I'm not sure when I'll have time for more. Stay tuned, if you're interested.**

 **I ended up having a great weekend because I worked night shifts so no early mornings, and my Cardinals have actually been playing well! Zach, however, is in mourning because the St. Louis Blues lost today and were eliminated from the playoffs. I'm at work still so I haven't witnessed it yet but the snapchats I've already gotten from him and his brother tell a sorry tale. Wish us (me) luck ; )**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks for your patience! I had a totally crazy week and now I'm not feeling too hot, so things have been slow going. But I'm at work now for the rest of the night so I knew I'd be able to get this chapter out.**

 **Happy Mother's Day to all of you out there! Hope you had a great day.**

 **A little more strife in this chapter, just so you know. Nothing too major.**

… …

"Oh!"

I stopped short upon letting myself into Rosalie and Alice's apartment, surprised to see Emmett Cullen sitting on the couch.

He stood as I came in, holding his hand out to me. "Hi. Bella, right?" I shook his hand, nodding. "We haven't officially met, but I'm Emmett."

"It's nice to meet you." He was handsome, just like his older brother, and had an easy smile. "I'm sorry to have let myself in, but it was unlocked and Alice knew I was coming by to borrow something."

"No problem, I was just waiting for Rosalie to finish getting ready. Her class ran a little late."

He stood awkwardly for a moment, then sat back down. "It is nice to meet you, too, by the way. I've heard a lot about you."

I found myself wondering what he had heard and from who- Edward, or Rosalie? It had only been two weeks since Rosalie and Emmett had met, but from what I had heard, they were already nearly inseparable. The same couldn't be said for me and Edward, because unfortunately our schedules hadn't allowed for it. He had texted me about tonight, but I was feeling overwhelmed by work and preparations from school. _Maybe tomorrow_ , I'd told him. I felt bad for being so flaky, but I had to put myself first. But just because I hadn't had time didn't mean I wasn't eager to see him again.

"Hey, Bella, what're you doing here?" Rosalie emerged from her bedroom, fastening a necklace around her neck.

"I came for the book Alice left for me." I pecked her on the cheek, and couldn't help but notice the way she was looking at Emmett.

"Oh, yeah, she said she left it on the kitchen table for you."

"Great, thanks."

I retrieved it quickly, then rejoined Emmett and Rosalie. "So…what are you guys up to tonight?"

"We're just going to grab dinner." Emmett smiled at Rosalie as he spoke to me, but I was glad to see it. Rosalie deserved someone who looked at her that way.

They were trying to catch their reservation and I still had work to do at home, so we walked out together and parted ways outside the building. I had parked on the street, but they were walking to dinner, and I couldn't help but watch them as they went. They held hands, their heads inclined towards each other. It had been two weeks but they already looked so comfortable with each other.

I usually liked the fact that I lived at home, but on days like today it seemed stifling. I had fallen behind on some work that needed done, so except for my brief errand to pick up the book Alice had been badgering about and to grab dinner on my way home, I hadn't left the apartment and it was starting to feel like a prison. Living alone sometimes got lonely, too, even though I usually enjoyed the quiet.

My phone chimed shortly after I got back to work, and I smiled slightly when I saw it was Edward, telling me I could meet him tomorrow after his class if my schedule looked better. I texted him to confirm, knowing that I would still be busy but also that a little sexual release could work wonders. I also found myself missing him. We had spent a lot of time together over the past few months, and we had developed a friendship. It surprised me that he seemed to be coming out of his shell more, but I liked the conversations we were able to have. Neither of us got into anything too personal, but we could talk about anything else and it was comfortable.

The rest of the night passed quickly, and the following day. Before I knew it, I was on campus, trying to follow Edward's directions to his office. I had taken him up on his offer for a tour, but it was different now, and it took me a while to find where I was supposed to go.

Edward was leaning against his desk when I finally arrived, fiddling with his phone.

"Hey," I said breathlessly, reaching up to kiss him briefly. "Sorry I'm a little late."

He smiled down at me, his hands settling at my hips. "That's okay, you're only a few minutes behind. Were my directions that shitty?"

"No, I just got a little turned around."

"Well…you're here now. Do you want to go stop somewhere and eat dinner? I'm starved."

I hesitated, because this wasn't part of our normal routine. "How about we just grab something on the way?" I stepped backwards, my hands going to my coat pockets. "My place or yours?"

"Yours, I guess."

I nodded, standing back and waiting for him to gather the rest of his things. I grinned at him, loving the hot, nerdy professor look.

"What?"

"Nothing." I shrugged my shoulders. "Nice bag."

He rolled his eyes as he shouldered the bag, which looked stuffed full of papers or tests, and gestured for me to lead the way. He locked the door to the office behind us, and then we were on our way. "Too bad there are so many people still in the office." His voice was low as he spoke, and sent tingles down my spine as we walked out of the psychology department office.

"Yeah?" I turned my head, loving the secret smiles we exchanged. "Is that a fantasy of yours?"

"Fucking you in my office?" He snorted. "Yeah, you could say so."

I held his gaze for a moment, then looked away slyly. "Maybe if you play your cards right," I said lightly, trying to sound somewhat nonchalant. But he winked at me, and I knew I hadn't fooled him.

… …

I studied the lines of Edward's body, smiling. I knew so much about it and yet so much of him remained a mystery to me. I watched the curve of his smile as I ran my hand along his right hip, and heard his hiss when my hand moved to that spot on his inner thigh that was so sensitive.

"Easy." His voice was low and rough from exertion and it was just about the sexiest sound ever. "Give me a minute."

I pretended to pout, but really, I needed a minute, too. I was sure there would be bruises from two rough, fast tumbles in the sheets- not that I minded.

"Okay, okay," I teased, peppering his shoulder with kisses. "Fine."

He groaned, rolling over to his side so that we were laying face to face. "I know that even you can't be that insatiable."

"Maybe."

Edward smiled lazily, reaching up and tracing my lower lip with one finger.

We remained in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the intimacy and comfort, but eventually I spoke up.

"Did you always know you wanted to teach?" I asked, propping myself up on my elbow.

"Not really." He frowned slightly. "I didn't really think about it during my undergrad, but then when I was in my first few years of graduate school, I TA'd a few classes and I liked it. I didn't start teaching at the university until a few years ago, though. I worked with one company. Now I freelance and teach, and I enjoy the freedom and flexibility more."

"I bet you're a good teacher."

"I haven't had _too_ many complaints. What about you? I know you have more school, but would you ever teach?"

I was looking forward to starting nursing school soon, but I'd be the first to admit that I was also nervous to go back. I couldn't even imagine what it'd be like, let alone what I'd really be doing afterwards. "I don't know. It all seems so far away."

Edward laughed, stroking my cheek. "It seems that way now, but things like that go by so fast you won't even realize it. You'll blink, and it'll be over."

"Is that how it happened for you? You blinked and your life was completely different?"

He stilled immediately, his eyes searching mine somewhat accusingly. The double meaning had been intended when I asked the question, but now I was cursing my ever-present curiosity about his life.

"Yeah. A lot of things happened very suddenly."

I frowned as he rolled away from me, staring up at the ceiling now. Tension hung in the air, but it wasn't like before. He didn't seem angry, he seemed…almost like he was just conflicted.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I do," he finally said, shocking the hell out of me. "But I shouldn't. It feels wrong, Bella."

"Why?"

He sighed loudly, bringing his hands up to run through his hair. "For a lot of reasons…I don't know. Because I hate rehashing it, and because it seems wrong to talk to about her to you. And because I'm afraid of what it means." He stopped, looking over at me. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Just…I wish you weren't so closed off about this. We can talk about everything else."

"This isn't like everything else. This is personal and it doesn't feel right to me. It has nothing to do with us. I'm trying my hardest to keep those walls up, Bella, because I know that you don't want things to change between me and you. You don't want that- you've said that time and time again."

I had accepted his answer, and we moved on.

It wasn't until later that night, when I was alone in my bed, that I realized what he had really said. _I_ didn't want things to change. He had been careful to stress that point, and it made me wonder. Was he changing his mind? And if he was…where did that leave us?

… …

 **This story will remain told from mostly Bella's perspective, with a little Edward thrown in here and there. More from him in the next chapter, although it won't be EPOV for the whole thing.**

 **I went ahead and post a new story the other day- it's called** _ **Ineffable**_ **and chapter one is up now if you're interested. Definitely a different type of story from this one or even most of what I've written before. Anyway it's there and I have a few chapters of it that I'm working on, but this remains my main focus : )**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello there! First and foremost, let me apologize for the long wait- things have been crazy! I ended up getting offered a great job last Friday (after submitting a resume the night before and having a phone interview two hours prior to the offer)…five hours away and if I could start two days later. Wut. After frantic phone calls to my sister (who said turn it down) and my fiancé (who said "take that shit"), I accepted and started the craziest week of my life.**

 **I'm back "home" now finishing up my two weeks notice at my old jobs, and then it's back up there. Obviously it's going to be hard for Zach and I but we're excited about a new spin on our future and he's on the job hunt now, too. Anyway, that's where I've been, and where I'll be. I hope you'll stick around while I get it together : )**

 **Warning- this is another totally wordy, thought ridden chapter from Bella. More dialogue and such next chapter, I promise.**

… …

I'd been thinking about Edward all day. All week, really. I hated how we had left things the last time we had seen each other- seemingly just deciding to brush everything under the rug and forget about the tension. But it was impossible when the tension was so palpable.

Everything had gone so smoothly up until now that I had thought we were in the clear. We had both been so upfront about our feelings and what we wanted, and seemed like a perfect fit. We obviously had different reasons for seeking an arrangement such as ours, but regardless, we had agreed on what this was.

Now he had planted a seed of doubt in my mind, and although not much had really been said outright, it was clear to me that something had changed, and my imagination was running wild with it.

It had seemed so perfect, and I really had been happy with what we'd arranged. Edward was gorgeous and charismatic and great in bed, and we shared great chemistry in and out of the bedroom. He seemed to get my sense of humor, too, and we could spend hours talking about what seemed like nothing at all. I hated to lose something like that, because I did think that the connection was special.

But was it worth changing what we had agreed on? I was still convinced that there was no such thing as happily ever after, at least not in a relationship. People changed, their wants and needs changed. Maybe that was even already happening between us. I didn't want to end up happy one day and then devastated the next, like I had seen my father do. All around me people were falling in and out of love, and I'd been so happy thinking I could avoid all of that with someone like Edward.

And yet, here I was, lying awake early in the morning, thinking about him…and us.

… …

I was stretched out on Alice's bed, analyzing my answers on the application I was filling out for the millionth time.

"Are you sure this sounds okay?" I asked, thrusting my application towards Alice.

She pushed it away, rolling her eyes. "Oh my god. Yes. It's perfect, Bella. Me looking at it _again_ won't change that. Turn that shit in and get it over with. You're a shoe-in, okay?"

Unconvinced, I read it over again, chewing on my thumbnail. I wanted this to be perfect- nursing school was the next step in my plan, and I didn't want to run into any avoidable obstacles. Getting into my first choice school would help alleviate my worries about that. If I did get in, I wouldn't be starting until the coming fall semester, and I'd be able to save up more money for tuition until then. My dad had generously offered to help me pay my rent after school started, so I'd be able to go to school and work from home at the same time to save more money and keep up with my other bills. It would all be perfect, if things would just start falling into place.

"Why are you so nervous?" Rosalie was curled up on the foot of the bed, peeking up at me. "You're so smart, Bella, and you're passionate. They'll see that."

"I don't know." I finally pushed the application to the side. The words were all starting to run together, anyway. "I just wish I knew their decision right away and didn't have to worry about it for weeks. And going back to school is daunting, too. I know it wasn't that long ago that I graduated from the medical coding program, but after working and living on my own since then…that seems like a lifetime ago."

"Aw, I miss those days." Alice climbed onto the bed with us, sighing sentimentally. "Simpler times."

We let ourselves reminisce for a while, and the stories and the laughter brought me out of my funk. Another half hour passed before Rosalie checked the time on her phone, wincing.

"Emmett is picking me up in a few minutes."

"Ah…that means Jasper will be here soon, too," Alice chimed in. She had dated Jasper Whitlock freshman year of college, but they had broken up after a few months when Jasper went back to Texas for the summer and ended up staying away for the next semester, too. Now he was back at school, and they were back together. Alice swore this was it, and that she just knew they'd end up together forever this time.

"I'll head out, then." I started to gather my things, but I didn't miss the look Rosalie and Alice exchanged.

However, they stayed silent, and I left their apartment a few minutes later. I passed Emmett in the lobby, but other than what I hope came off as a friendly hello, we didn't say much.

I was happy for my friends, and I wanted them to have everything they dreamed of. However, that didn't change the preconceived notions I had about love and relationships. I wondered what was wrong with me that I was so jaded and cynical, when my friends were happier than ever and found people they planned to spend the rest of their lives with. I knew that what had happened in my parent's marriage played a part in how I felt. But I was also convinced that even if I did want to commit to someone, that they would see all of my faults and one day give up on me, or betray me.

But my friends didn't have these doubts, at least not in the same way that I did. Why was I so different, and would I ever be able to change? Did I even want to?

… …

It seemed that Edward was just as conflicted as I was, maybe even more so, because I hadn't heard from him. Everything had seemed so normal the last time I had seen him. Even has he had left. But I knew that it was a forced sense of normalcy, and now that tension and unsaid words were becoming completely impossible to ignore.

I knew that I wanted to see him again. Yes, the main draw for me had always been that the sex was good and we had an agreement. But now I was missing him, and part of me hated that. I didn't want to be missing him, because this wasn't supposed to be that kind of relationship. I wasn't ready for that to change. I wasn't prepared, and I felt like I _couldn't_ be. It just reinforced my thoughts that there was something wrong with me that this kind of thing didn't come as easily to me as it did to others.

But because I hadn't heard from Edward and didn't even plan on asking him about this when we did speak again, I didn't even know how _he_ was feeling about this. Maybe I was completely overreacting and blowing everything out of proportion. But that didn't change that I was completely rethinking everything I thought I knew about what I wanted.

… …

 **See you again (hopefully soon) for the next chapter, which will be EPOV. These chapters have been shorter than the ones I usually write, but it's just kind of how things have been flowing…and since I'm so short on time lately, I'm afraid that will continue. Right now, even with slightly shorter chapters, I'm still up to date on the story outline I prepared. So as long as that continues, we'll be fine and the story length will stay the same. If not, it'll be shorter chapters but** _ **more**_ **chapters, possibly updating more frequently. We'll see.**

 **I'm still on facebook, even though I've been absent from there lately, too. My profile is Cynosure Fanfic if you're interested in connecting!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Last chapter I said that this one would be EPOV- that was incorrect. My outline lists chapter 14 as EPOV, not chapter 13. So I misread/got ahead of myself. Who really knows at this point lol. I'm a mess 99% of the time, and I know it! However, chapter fourteen** _ **will**_ **be EPOV for sure, now that I've got that straightened out.**

 **If you're friends with me on Facebook (my profile is Cynosure Fanfic), you might have seen that I finally figured out an update schedule! This story will be updating on Tuesdays and my other story,** _ **Ineffable**_ **, will be updating on Friday's. Any delays or changes to this schedule will be posted on Facebook.**

 **Thanks so much for your patience and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

… …

The situation between Edward and I still seemed awkward; almost like it was all very up in the air. We still texted back and forth every once and a while, making general plans but nothing concrete. I felt like both of us felt something was wrong.

We were in an odd situation- in a normal relationship, this kind of standoff would need to be solved by honest communication and compromise. But we weren't _in_ a normal relationship, and intentionally so. We might have had different reasons for wanting a casual relationship, but neither would deny that an added bonus was not having to really answer to each other. The nature of our relationship implied that there would be no messy breakup or heartbreaking fights. When one or both of us no longer wanted to continue the arrangement, then it would end. But despite the awkwardness, we hadn't reached that point yet.

I'd be the first to admit that we had been toeing the line, crossing into territories that we meant to left uncharted. But it had happened gradually, and at the time, it had seemed harmless. Somewhere along the line, I felt like things had gone too far. Lines had been blurred, and now instead of easy, casual sex, we were at a crossroads and neither of us even knew what we wanted to do from here.

So when Edward called me at one o'clock on Friday morning, drunk out of his mind and asking if he could come by, I had hesitated. Was it wise to do this? Our relationship was originally just supposed to be about sex, but could we really draw the line there anymore?

But part of me wanted to see him, and that part won out.

"Jesus," I groaned. I had opened my front door only to have Edward practically fall into my arms, more drunk than I'd ever seen him. "Edward, stand up."

He responded by wrapping his arms around me, kissing my chest, my neck, and then finally my lips. "I had to see you." His kisses were sloppy, and he tasted like rum, but it still felt so good. So _right_. I pushed those feelings back, just wanting to soak him up. Maybe this would be the last time. I didn't know what would happen between us, but I knew that things could not continue the way they had been.

Edward stumbled as he took me to bed, but a few minutes later, when we were both naked, instinct seemed to kick in. He knew what he was doing; he knew my body.

It was sloppy and fast, but it was good. I wrapped my arms around him when he finished, kissing his sweaty skin. "Edward," I whispered. He moaned in response, running one hand through my hair and down my back. "What are we doing, Edward?"

He stilled, and I thought he was going to say something until a quiet snore met my ears. I turned to see him sound asleep on his back. His hand had gone limp at my side, and as much as I wanted to wake him up, I didn't. I pulled my comforter around us and tried my best to fall asleep, too.

… …

I hadn't planned on doing any work until the afternoon, so I hadn't set an alarm for myself in the morning. When I did wake up, light was streaming into my bedroom through the lone window, and my bed was empty. I rubbed my eyes as I exited the room, fully expecting to see Edward sitting on my couch or in the kitchen. But he was nowhere- the small apartment was empty.

This would hardly be the first time Edward had had to leave before I woke up. With me working from home and not doing so fulltime, I had the luxury of sleeping in a lot more often than Edward did. So he had left me sleeping in bed plenty of times. But there was no note, no text on my phone. It felt like we'd had a one night stand and he'd slipped out intentionally. For the first time, this arrangement made me feel bad about myself…made me feel _dirty_.

Emotions I had tried to keep at bay before came crashing down upon me all at once, making me feel even more confused than before. I cried, not just for the messy relationship I found myself entwined in, but for my inability to see the signs before, and for my own messed up feelings about relationships in general. I thought about my friends, and how happy they were, and wondered for the umpteenth time why I wasn't capable of that myself.

I cursed myself for ever thinking that I could really make a relationship like this work, and for letting myself get in too deep before having these sudden realizations come along and destroy me. But unlike before, I vowed to not let myself just dwell on my feelings in silence.

Something had to give.

… …

I didn't trust myself to call, so a few hours later, I sent a text.

 _So…I think we need to talk_.

It was three hours before I heard my phone chime with a reply, but it wasn't exactly what I had wanted to hear…or what I had even expected.

 _Yeah. Maybe Wednesday._

Wednesday was five days from now…nearly a full week away. Five days for me to stew over it and wonder what the hell was really going on. It also immediately struck me how… _cold_ his reply seemed, only further reinforcing my thoughts that he had been the first one to really crack. I no longer felt like I had overreacted or read into things wrong. This seemed to tell me that Edward knew he had been acting strange leading up to our slight estrangement.

Unfortunately, knowing all of this didn't make me feel any better. If anything, it made me feel worse.

There would not be a simple resolution to this, and it would not be easy.

Edward was never supposed to become a real part of my life. I wasn't supposed to miss him when he left and look forward to his next appearance into my life. But it had happened, and now I didn't know where to go from here. We had been clear about we wanted from the start, and even though I could admit now that I felt something more for Edward, that didn't mean I was actually emotionally ready for the implications of that.

And even if his feelings really had changed, too- which I was almost certain they had, it didn't mean he was ready for that, either. Edward obviously had demons, too, and he didn't seem to want to face them.

… …

"Hey, Dad. Sorry I haven't been by to visit."

I found comfort in my father's embrace, inhaling his familiar scent and taking a moment to hug him tight and really appreciate him. I was lucky to have a father like him, and he was exactly what I needed right now. He had always been my friend and somehow knew exactly what I needed from him. This was no different, and he let me hug him as long as I needed to.

"That's okay, Bella. I know you're a busy girl, and you've been so great about calling every week. I have missed you, though." He stepped back to look at me closely, and frowned. "Are you okay, Bells?"

I nodded, hugging him again before finally stepping into the house.

This was the house I had grown up in, and it hadn't changed. Some of my mother's things were still there, mixed in with everything else so much so that they just felt natural. She hadn't taken all of her things when she left, and I think that my dad and I had both hoped that meant she would be coming back. Of course, she didn't, but neither of us had the heart to collect her things and get rid of them.

"You've got me a little worried." My dad obviously wasn't letting it go, but that was one of the things I loved about him. He cared about me so much, and even though I felt like I had been completely abandoned by my mother, I knew that he would never do anything to make me feel that way about him, too. "Are you sure you're doing okay?"

"Well…" I twisted my hands in my lap, hating how formal and clinical this felt as we sat across from each other at the small kitchen table. "Are you still seeing that counselor?"

He hesitated slightly, his face instantly overcome with worry and guilt. "Bella…" He stood and came to my side, pulling me into his arms again.

"I think I'd like to see her, too. Or someone else. Just…someone."

"I wish this hadn't happened, and I hate that I had a part in it. But I'm so glad that you're ready to talk to someone. I know you had to do things on your own terms, but I think this could help you so much, Bella. I never thought I'd be helped by talking to someone, but this has really opened my eyes. I hope you have the same good experience."

"Dad, it's not your fault," I said softly. "I mean, I know things couldn't have been as perfect as I'd like to believe they were. But…you've been amazing. You're the best dad, and I couldn't get through this without you."

"I hope you know that you're amazing, too, Bells. I love you, baby girl."

"I love you, too." The words were whispered, but he squeezed me tight when he heard them.

"We'll both be okay," he promised.

… …

 **SO Bella is going to see a counselor- much needed! Now Edward just needs to come to the same realization, right? A lot of Bella's issues have been caused by what happened between her parents…she's starting to finally accept this, and working through it is the only way to move on. She can't have a real, successful relationship until she really loves herself and can grasp what a healthy relationship should be like.**

 **Since I've set up a weekly update schedule, it looks like most chapters will be a tad bit shorter. I'm still toying with the timeline/outline. But hey, updates will be coming! Thanks for waiting it out while I got settled and tried to figure out a schedule that actually worked for me.**

 **Work is good, and luckily my fiancé has two job interviews lined up in the area so that I can finally have a roommate again. You have no idea how strange it's been to come home to an empty apartment, to bed alone every night when I'm not used to it, and talk to myself instead of to him. Needless to say I am more than ready for my best friend to get his ass up here : )**


	14. Chapter 14

**Happy Tuesday! My week has already been long, but I hope yours isn't so far!**

 **Enjoy the chapter, and let me know what you think, if you'd be so kind.**

 **This chapter is going to be in completely EPOV. Back to Bella for the next one, though.**

… …

"What are you doing, man?"

Emmett's voice sounded through our footfalls as we ran on the track, clear as day. I wished I could pretend I hadn't heard him.

"What? Nothing."

We were only ten minutes into our run, but I had counted myself lucky to have avoided this so far.

"You know that my girl is best friends with your girl. I hear all about it."

I yanked my other earbud out of my ear, giving him my full attention. "She's _not_ my girl."

Emmett shook his head, but let that go. "What are you doing?" he repeated.

"I'm trying to give her what she wants. She said all along that she wanted no strings attached, and I'm trying to honor what she wants."

"But that's not what _you_ want anymore, is it?"

"I don't know."

"It's been ten years, Edward. Savannah wouldn't have wanted-"

"You think _I_ don't know what Savannah would have wanted? She was my wife, Emmett. Back then, I knew I was a one-woman kind of man. That woman was Savannah. And I thought I'd take that with me to my grave."

My brother scoffed. "So you can have a sexual relationship, but not a loving, committed one? Edward, I think you're delusional about what Savannah would and would not be okay with. And I'm sorry, I really am, but she's gone. You're the one who's still here. You're the one who has to keep on living. Why waste the rest of your wife mourning what never was? Yes, you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with her. But you can't."

I struggled with what I was thinking, because there was an aspect of my relationship with Savannah that I had kept secret. Partly because I hated what she had become towards the end, and partly to keep her memory untainted. I wanted others, especially my family, to remember her for the girl she had really been. Not for the things she had asked me to do.

"I don't know what I'm doing," I finally said. "I have no fucking clue."

"Well, you better figure it out. Bella seems like a great girl, and you seem to really care for her. Don't let her slip through your fingers."

"I don't think you understand, Emmett. This is what she wanted. She's twenty one years old and doesn't want a serious relationship."

"She didn't. Neither did you. You feel differently…why can't she?" Emmett posed an interesting question, but I didn't think things worked that way.

Even if I was feeling more for her, that didn't mean I was ready to be in an actual relationship.

"What should I do?" I finally asked, hating the way that question sounded.

Reservations aside, the thought of losing Bella completely was enough to scare me into entertaining ideas that I never thought I would.

"Maybe you should just be honest with her." Emmett's suggestion made me snort skeptically, but he continued. "Look, you've never told _me_ what your deal is. I can't imagine how shitty it is for her, being you and you refusing to open up about why you act the way you do about relationships. I can't imagine that she hadn't asked, and I don't even want to think about the way you probably responded to her. Tell her everything. It's a last ditch effort, but…that might be what it takes."

"God, what has Rosalie said about it? Is she really that…"

I trailed off, wondering how Bella really did feel about this. I let myself think, for just a moment, that maybe she was starting to feel the same way I did. But what if I had scared her off? Was Emmett right- did I need to make a last ditch effort and lay everything out on the table now?

"She's hurt." Emmett's words were quiet, but he might as well have screamed them at me.

"Fuck."

We continued the rest of our run in silence, but my mind continued to race.

… ...

By the time Wednesday came around, I was a nervous wreck. I had started to call or text Bella more than once, but had never worked up the courage to actually do it.

Now I sat in my car, parked on the street outside of her apartment building. It took me a long time to finally convince myself to get out of the car and walk into the building, but I somehow did. My time was officially up. I pressed the buzzer for her apartment, and instead of answering, she just buzzed me in. My feet felt like lead balloons as I made my way upstairs to down the hall to her door, and my chest tightened when I saw the door propped open.

She was sitting in the living room, an open bottle of wine on the coffee table in front of her and a half empty glass in her hand. Her dark eyes watched me as I came in, but otherwise, she didn't even acknowledge my presence.

"Hi." My words seemed to echo through the apartment, and all she did in reply was push the bottle of wine towards me.

I poured myself a glass and sat down on the sofa, directly across from the chair she sat in. She still hadn't spoken.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I said, my apology rushing out of my mouth before I knew what I was doing. I had prepared so much, tried to think of exactly what to say to explain to her why I hated behaved so awfully and to ask her why she felt the way that she did, but no…I blew the first line with a lame, pathetic "I'm sorry", when she deserved so much more.

"That's not all I wanted to say," I added quickly. "I have so much I want to say to you that…I don't even know where to start."

"This has gotten all twisted, hasn't it?" Bella finally spoke, and it wasn't what I expected her to say. "Apologies don't even begin to cover it."

"I know. But I am. Sorry, I mean. I am sorry."

"What happened last weekend…" she paused, taking a deep breath. "Made me feel cheap. And dirty. And I don't understand why you did it. But I'd like to hear your reasoning."

"There is no good reason. I…I realized that you knew I was feeling differently. I panicked and tried to make it just about sex because I thought that was what you wanted?"

Bella shook her head, taking a big gulp of wine. "Why would you think that's what I wanted? If that had been what I wanted, I would have asked for that in the first place." She refilled her glass. "So…you _do_ feel differently."

"I do." This was the first time I vocalized it, especially to her. It felt monumental.

"And I don't."

Her words hurt. I wouldn't pretend that they didn't.

"I don't…right now. My parents got married right out of high school." I was surprised she seemed to be delving into her personal history, especially after what she had just said, but I didn't say anything. "And they had me a year later. I grew up thinking that my parents were soulmates. They seemed to have an absolutely perfect marriage. It was full of laughter and love. My dad surprised my mom often, with grand gestures and small signs of appreciation. It was perfect."

She looked at her wine glass, smiling sadly. "But it ended. Something snapped. My mom had a long, drawn out affair, and that affair never really ended, I guess. She left my dad and married him…Phil. She left _me_. I haven't seen her since the divorce." Her eyes flashed to mine, looking at me for the first time that night. "That really fucked me up, Edward. I didn't want to accept that, but I think it's true. It broke something inside me. And it's not that I think I'm broken for good. I just think that in order for me to really love someone, I need to learn to love myself again. Because right now, I don't love myself. I'm struggling with my mom leaving me. I've been struggling since it happened, but…now I understand why. That's why I've approached relationships the way that I have. And it's going to take some work before I can have a healthy relationship. So no, I don't feel that way right now, but only because I know that I have to put myself first right now, or it would never work."

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry you've gone through that."

"Thank you."

I started to stand, setting my wine glass down on the coffee table. "I guess I should go."

"What?" Bella narrowed her eyes at me.

"I heard you, loud and clear. I understand."

"You understand what?"

I paused, confused about why she seemed so upset again. "That you need to work on yourself."

"You think I wanted to talk to you just to tell you that? I showed you mine, Edward. It's your turn."

My mind was racing again, and all I wanted was to pull her into my arms, kiss her, and tell her everything. I don't know why I didn't.

"I can't."

"Fuck you." She was venomous, on her feet before I could blink. "You're putting this all on me? You're going to pretend that I'm the only one with problems and I'm the only one who needs to work on myself? What the hell is wrong with you, Edward? You feel something more for me but you're shutting me out even more than before. If you would just _tell_ me-"

"I can't! God, Bella, I wish I could but I can't even put it into words. I hate it. I hate what happened and I…I feel like I'm dragging her name through the fucking mud. She loved me, and she died. Sometimes I feel like I killed her. She gave so much of herself to me, even when she was sick. Then she turned into someone else and I don't even want to think about how she was towards the end. I put my whole heart and soul into my marriage because I thought that was it for me. Then she died, and I don't know how to get that part of myself back."

My chest was heaving, but she just stared up at me, her big brown eyes begging for me to say more.

"I'm not ready to go through that again. There's not enough of me left."

"That's not true, and you know it."

Her lips crashed into mine, her hands clawing at my shirt. I kissed her back, loving her taste and the feel of her under my hands.

All too soon, Bella pulled away. She stared up at me, breathing heavily. "Don't you think that maybe it'll be worth it? Maybe _this_ is worth it. Me and you."

… …

 **Edward, Edward, Edward. You've got some serious problems! This is a turning point- there's only so much that they can do from here. Bella has accepted that she needs help coping and learning to love herself again so that she can one day have a healthy relationship. Edward needs to take that step too, and soon.**

 **See you next Tuesday for chapter 15. Like I said, back to the normal BPOV for that one. At least one more EPOV in the story, probably more. It's not exactly mapped out yet but I'll let you know closer to those chapters.**

 **Don't forget to add me on facebook if you're interested- I try to post teasers for every chapter and let you guys know about any delays. My profile is Cynosure Fanfic.**


	15. Chapter 15

**I hope everyone has had a good week since the last chapter! I was in St. Louis for the weekend…now I'm back on my own and spending a lot of time reminiscing! This weekend, my fiancé is the one making the journey. I think we'll hit some wineries and we talked about going tubing while I'm off work for the fourth of July. Anybody else have any fun plans?!**

 **Enjoy the chapter!**

… …

The days pass more quickly than I thought they would.

I had thought that Edward would leave a large, gaping void in my life, but that wasn't the case. Life carried on almost exactly the way it had before. I hadn't realized how little our lives had intertwined outside of the bedroom. There was still Emmett and Rosalie, but other than that, there were barely any reminders of him in my day to day life. At night, though, sometimes I let myself think about him.

I thought about how he said he felt more for me, but also how he refused to open up. I didn't feel that I was capable of returning his feelings right now, or at least of acting on them, but I could acknowledge that there was something there.

This was nothing like it had been with Jacob- he had been straightforward and upfront with me. Our relationship had started as a friendship, eventually leading to being friends with benefits. Then an actual relationship had just seemed like natural progression. It had taken a lot of fighting and unhappiness on my part to realize that I didn't want a boyfriend, or a conventional relationship. Instead of delving into my deeper issue and the damage the dissolution of my parents' marriage had done on me, I told myself that I just didn't believe in serious relationships and especially marriage.

I had only had one appointment with my counselor so far, but she had made a point to stress that there was a difference between having abandonment and commitment issues and simply not believing in marriage. Now I felt a little lost and unsure of how I really felt- but I was trying.

And sometimes, when I did let my mind drift to thoughts of Edward, I wondered if he was trying, too.

… …

I tried to throw myself into work and preparations for nursing school. I crammed my days as full as I could, to the point that I think I might be making myself sick. Sometimes that's just easier than dealing with the real issues.

I had another appointment with my counselor. I like her, and I think she has a good reading of me. But these things move so slowly, and I just wish that I could be _fixed_ already. I tell her this, and instead of laughing like I thought she might, she just smiled a little sadly and scheduled me another appointment for the next week.

My dad and I had been trying to make plans more frequently- tonight, it's dinner at one of our old favorite places.

"How's it going, Bells?" He asked, pressing a kiss to my hair as I join him in a booth by the window.

"Not bad." I look at the menu even though I've been ordering the same thing here every time for the past five years.

But I look anyway, and something different caught my eye. I ordered it from our waiter when he came around, and my dad smiled at me.

"Wow, I don't think I've ever seen you order anything other than the mushroom ravioli here."

I shrugged, holding back a smile. "I'm trying to shake things up."

"That doesn't sound like a bad plan."

"It's working for me so far. What's new with you, Dad? You sure do have a busy schedule these days."

He smiled abashedly, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "Ah, but I'm never too busy for you. We've been doing good with once a week though, haven't we?"

"We have. It's just that this was the only night you had open this week, and that's not normal for you. Usually it's just you, a beer, and a sports game every night, even during the work week. I checked with your secretary, too. She confirmed that you're booked up this week…and most of next week." I wondered what he was hiding, but based on the smile still on his face, it couldn't be anything bad. "What are you up to?"

"I've been seeing someone," he confessed, and I swear I saw a slight blush color his cheeks. "It's been a few months now, but things have gotten more serious lately. And I'd like for you to meet her, when you feel up to it."

I looked at my dad, taking in the huge smile on his face but also the guarded look in his eyes. He was obviously happier than he had been in a very long time, but he had been hesitant to tell me. I hated that he was holding back about something that obviously made him happy just because he was afraid of how I might react.

"That's awesome, Dad. I'm so happy for you. Tell me all about her."

He did, smiling the whole time. Her name was Sue Clearwater, and she had actually been married to one of my dad's old friends from high school, Harry. The two friends had drifted apart through the years, but I vaguely remembered seeing Harry a few times when I was younger. Harry had passed away a few years before, but Dad and Sue had reconnected thanks to a chance meeting at the post office.

This would be his first serious relationship since my mom, and I could see that he was exerting caution, even though he seemed so happy. I hoped that he was far less jaded by what happened with my mom than I was.

"When can I meet her?" I asked, wondering how that would go down.

I had been so sure that my parents' marriage was a fairy tale and would last forever- that they were really soulmates. That was one of the reasons their divorce had affected me so badly, and why it had altered my views of relationships so drastically. It was only very recently that I had accepted I would one day see my father with someone else- now I was facing the music, earlier than I might have thought.

"Whenever you want. She's looking forward to it."

"How about next week? We could do dinner again, or maybe get ice cream. Whatever you want."

"I'll talk to her."

Our food came shortly after, and we ate mostly in silence. Later, after he paid the bill and we walked out the door together, he surprised me by pulling me into a quick hug. "Thank you, Bella. It means a lot to me that you're happy for me."

"Of course I am, Dad." I hugged him back, and I think that was the first time I really accepted that love was still out there.

… …

I sat sandwiched between Rosalie and Alice, trying to focus on the movie playing on their living room television. But it was hard when both of them were engrossed in texting, the bright light from their phones cutting through the dark room. Maybe the thing that really bothered me was that they were texting Emmett and Jasper, while I was sitting here trying to concentrate on Holly Golightly.

"Guys, are you even watching the movie?"

Alice glanced up at me, brows furrowed. "We've seen this movie a thousand times, Bella. And you hate when people talk during movies, anyway."

"I know," I said with a huff. "I just…" I shook my head. "I'm a little out of sorts."

"You have been acting kind of strange lately." Rosalie set her phone down on the coffee table in front of us, frowning. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Not really. I feel like I was spinning out of control. I mean, it wasn't nearly that dramatic, but I am trying to refocus my life and strengthen my mental health. But I just don't feel great." I was vocalizing these feelings for the first time outside of my counseling appointments, and it felt better than I would have expected.

"I'm still worried about you." It was Alice who spoke this time, her phone also abandoned.

I flushed, feeling like things were getting blown out of proportion. Sure, I didn't feel the greatest, but it was mostly physical, not mental. I was just trying to find my bearings.

"I'll be okay. Just being with you guys helps. And I've been spending a lot of time with my dad lately."

"Have you heard from your mom?" They both knew this was a sensitive topic for me, but I knew it was a genuine question and that she wouldn't have asked if she didn't care so much.

So I told them the truth- that I hadn't. Aside from that brief, awkward phone call on her birthday, I hadn't spoken to her in months. It still hurt, but I was trying to focus on the positives. My dad was incredible, and our relationship had only grown stronger through all of this.

"Maybe you should go to the doctor. Even just the free clinic."

"Rose…"

"No arguing. You're trying to take care of yourself, but you can't do that when you're already wearing yourself thin."

"Maybe you have an iron deficiency or something," Alice suggested.

I shrugged, but Rosalie was already scheduling an appointment for me online at the free clinic not far from my place. "It's on Friday at two o'clock, and I'll go with you," she promised.

It was just a small thing, but I felt like this would be another step to me getting back on track and falling back in love with my life. I wasn't sure when or how things had gotten so out of control, and I hadn't accepted it until recently, but now I saw it and knew that there _was_ a way to fix it.

And after I got myself sorted out, I would see if Edward had sorted himself out, too.

… …

 **Another shorter chapter** _ **but**_ **I'm planning to update again before Tuesday. News will be posted on Facebook- my profile is (still) Cynosure Fanfic. See you later for chapter sixteen!**


	16. Chapter 16

**This is an extra update, meaning that there will still be another chapter on the regularly scheduled update day- Tuesday! So I'll still being seeing you then for chapter seventeen, even though it's a holiday. But I'm not working that day and don't have any other plans so no disruptions here!**

 **Also, after you read this chapter, you might be interested in the author's note down at the bottom.**

 **Enjoy!**

… …

"What are you going to do?"

I didn't look up when Rosalie spoke, but she elbowed me gently. "Bella?"

"I don't know."

She was quiet then, and I felt her slip her arm around my shoulders. I leaned into her embrace, letting the first of the tears finally escape. I had held them back in the doctor's office, but I couldn't anymore. It wasn't just this- it was everything. Edward, my parents, my own fucked up problems...and now this. It was too much for me not to shed tears.

And now I was more confused than ever before.

"I'm here for you," Rosalie said after a few minutes, still holding me close. "Alice is, too, and your dad. We all care about you. I don't want you to feel like you're alone in this- whatever you decide to do."

"Thank you." I felt the tears start to subside, but I didn't feel any better. This was not something that a good cry could fix.

"Is there something I can do?"

I smiled halfheartedly at her, accepting the tissue she offered. "No, Rose. This is enough. Thank you. I just...have to figure out what in the hell I'm going to do."

"Well, when you figure it out, I'll do anything I can. I mean it, Bella."

… …

I sat on the sofa in my counselor's office, nervously chewing on my lip as I waited for her to join me. She did after a few more minutes, closing the door behind her and taking a seat in the chair across from me.

"I was surprised to see you moved your appointment up," Jamie noted, looking concerned. "Why don't you tell me what's going on."

Taking a deep breath, I folded my hands in my lap. "I found out last week that I'm pregnant."

The words hung in the air, and I noticed how odd it sounded for that to be coming out of my mouth. It was not something I had thought I would be saying for a very, very long time, but here I was- announcing my pregnancy for the first time, and to my mental health counselor. I hated myself for the situation I was in, and I felt the tears starting to gather again, like they had off and on for the past week.

Jamie held out a box of tissues to me, looking sympathetic. "I take it this was a huge surprise?"

I nodded, wiping my eyes and willing the tears to stop. "Yes. And I have no idea what I'm going to do. I haven't told anyone. The only person who knows is my friend Rosalie, because she came to my appointment with me. I guess I keep expecting to...I don't know, just come up with a plan, and I haven't been able to. I'm starting to feel desperate."

"You feel out of control. That's totally understandable for what you're going through."

"I felt like I was barely keeping my head above water before. Now...I'm sure I'm going to drown. I can't even figure out my own life- how am I supposed to do this?"

"Take this one step at a time. Do you want to go through with this pregnancy?"

That was a question I'd asked myself more than once over the past week- and my mind hadn't changed despite all of my worries and fears. "I do. I just don't know how I'll be able to do it."

"Well, you know that you have a good support system. When you're ready, the next step is for you to tell them so that they can help you get through it. Are you scared to tell them because of how they'll react, or because you don't want to move forward?"

I furrowed my brow, a little confused about what Jamie was asking. She noticed my confusion and went on to elaborate.

"Announcing a pregnancy to friends and family is a big step- and by doing so, you'll really be acknowledging that the pregnancy is real for the first time. What is the most daunting to you? The pregnancy being 'real' to you, or the reactions of your family and friends?"

"I guess it's a little of both," I said slowly, thinking about it. "I mean, I know they won't be angry. My dad might be a little upset, but I know he respects that I'm an adult. And it is scary to know that once people know, it really is real. I mean," I reached down and touched my flat stomach, "as much as I've been agonizing over this, I still can't believe it's really happening. And the father..."

"What about the father?"

I swallowed thickly, knowing that was really the worst part. "I have _no_ idea how I'm going to tell him. Edward is the father. And you...well, you know all the problems there. I know it's probably not good to put it off, but I'm nowhere near ready to tackle that aspect of this."

"Okay. That's okay."

"And how will this affect the rest of my issues? I was so sure that once I tackled my mental health issues, that my life would move forward and I would have nothing else to worry about. Now my life seems so unpredictable, and I'm worried that I won't be able to fix my other problems."

Jamie spent the rest of the appointment reassuring me that being pregnant did mean I wouldn't be able to meet the goals we had set for counseling. She finally made me believe it, and although it was still unbelievably terrifying, by the end of my appointment, I realized that I had new motivation to tackle my issues and better myself.

… …

"It's so nice to meet you, Bella." Sue surprised me by giving me a gentle hug, but I found myself hugging her back genuinely. It was a very maternal embrace from her, but seemed completely natural.

"You, too. I'm so glad you guys were able to have dinner with me."

After everything that had happened with my own mother, I had never really expected to have another maternal figure in my life. But Sue and my father were obviously serious about each other, and I knew it was a big step for me to be meeting her. I hoped that she was what my dad needed, and that maybe she and I would develop a strong relationship, also. I could use all the support I could get these days.

We sat down at the kitchen table, and I didn't miss how my dad rested his arm on the back of Sue's chair immediately. Because of the unrealistic way I had seen my parent's relationship, I would have never thought that it would feel so natural to see him like this with another woman. But it was, and that only made me feel happier for my dad.

I had been nervous about this dinner, but I saw now that I had nothing to worry about. We ate and talked comfortably, and it didn't escape my notice how at home Sue seemed in my dad's kitchen. She had obviously been here a lot.

"How does wine sound?" Sue looked at us expectantly after she placed the dessert in the center of the table after we had polished off our dinner. "I think I saw a bottle of Riesling in the fridge."

She was already moving towards the refrigerator when my dad and I both answered.

"I'll have a glass."

"Oh, thank you, but no."

My dad looked a little surprised at my refusal, and I knew he was probably thinking about all the times when I had begged to be allowed a glass of wine, back before I turned twenty one.

"There's a bottle of red, too," Sue continued. "Or I know your dad has plenty of beer, if you'd rather have that."

I laughed at that, because my dad's fridge did resemble some of the fridges I'd seen in fraternity houses- there was no shortage of beer. "No, I'm really okay. I'm just about stuffed, so I better just have some dessert and call it quits."

It had been three days since my counseling appointment, and while I knew that I really did need to tell my father about my pregnancy, I held off. It was still scary to me, and I didn't want to do with in front of Sue. Even though I really liked her and I knew she was going to be a huge part of my father's life, now was not the time for big news like this.

My dad did, however, have some big news of his own, and unlike how I felt about my news, he seemed ecstatic to be sharing this with me.

"Bella, I'm so glad you could meet Sue tonight. It's extremely important to me that you got to meet and get to know each other a little bit."

Sue stood and kissed his cheek, then smiled at us. "I'm just going to step into the other room. I told my son I'd give him a call tonight." She left the room, and I turned back towards my dad expectantly.

"She's very important to me," he continued. "But you know that you're the most important woman in my life. I want to make sure that you're really okay with this- I know it must be odd for you to see me with...well, with someone who isn't your mother."

"Dad..." I shook my head, honestly a little overwhelmed by his considerateness. "Thank you. But I love you very, very much. I want you to be happy. And Sue seems great, really. It's obvious that you love each other."

I hadn't quite expected that, but after just a few hours together, I could tell that the two of them really were in love. And it meant a lot to me that my dad had waited until he was at this point with her to introduce her to me, because it showed me how serious he was.

"We do. And I know we haven't been seeing each other for very long, but we've been talking a lot about this in the past month or so and we're making plans to have Sue move in here with me."

"That's great, Dad. Really." I stood up from the table, going around to where he was sitting and wrapping my arms around him. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you, Bells." He hugged me back, kissing the top of my head. We embraced for several minutes, and although part of me wanted to just tell him the truth now, I held back. This was a happy night, and it was about him and Sue. I wanted it to stay that way.

Sue rejoined us after a while, and we finished our dessert. I congratulated both of them again, and told Sue how glad I was to have met her. When she hugged me goodbye, I held on for an extra moment, knowing that she was family now.

… …

Late that night, I found myself wide awake and unable to sleep. My "morning" sickness had kicked in during the past week, always hitting me late at night. I sat on my bathroom floor, but unlike the previous nights, I wasn't completely exhausted. Instead, my mind was racing and my stomach wasn't the only thing keeping me awake.

My appointment at the clinic had been ten days ago now. That meant that I was now eight weeks pregnant, and that somehow felt both like no time at all and also like a small eternity. I had gone almost five weeks without knowing about the life growing inside me of, but now, as I sat alone in the bathroom and feeling the symptoms of this pregnancy, I realized that I felt like I already knew my baby.

I let myself weep, for worry about the future but also for the sudden all-consuming love that I felt. I still felt like I had no idea what I was doing, or _how_ I would do this, but now I let myself accept that this was really real.

… …

"Don't get me wrong, kid, it's good to see you, but I'm a little surprised you wanted to meet up again so soon."

I hugged my dad, and even though it had only been two days since our dinner, I _really_ needed a hug. He didn't disappoint, squeezing me tight.

"I just wanted to talk to you," I said as we sat down on a nearby park bench.

He was on his lunch break, and had offered to meet me in Forest Park when I had asked to see him today. The World's Fair Pavilion had always been one of our favorite places to sit, so that was where we were. I looked out over the area, at the zoo and the art museum in the distance, and the fountain in front of us. It was beautiful here, and I hoped that I wouldn't ruin this place for us today.

"Is something wrong?"

I twisted my hands in my lap, hoping he would take this okay but also knowing the only way to find out was to just do it. "No. I just…have something to tell you."

"You can tell me anything, Bella."

"I'm pregnant, Dad."

He stared at me for a long moment, and I felt like my heart was going to pound right out of my chest. Then he slung his arm around my shoulders, pulling me tight against him. I felt myself start to tear up when he kissed the top of my head, and it wasn't just the hormones.

"I know this comes as a surprise, but I'm going to do this. And I know you'll support me, because you're the best dad, and you will be the best grandpa, too."

"I'm going to be a grandpa," he repeated, and I was relieved at the joy I heard in his voice. "Wow. Bella, wow. A grandpa!"

"You have plenty of time to prepare- I'm only eight weeks."

"Wow," he repeated. "This is a _huge_ surprise!"

"I know. I mean…it wasn't planned," I admitted. "But I'm making the best of it. I haven't told anyone else yet, except for Rose because she came to my appointment with me. I thought that…maybe, if you'd like to, you could come to my first appointment with the obstetrician. I don't want to go alone, and I know Rosalie would come with me again, but I'd like it if you would be there with me."

My appointment wasn't for another week, and although I was allowing myself to start feeling excited about it, it was also scary. And my dad being there would make me feel so much better.

"Of course I'll come with you, Bella. I'm honored that you'd want me to."

We talked about it for a few more minutes, before my dad finally got to what I had been dreading.

"Bella, what about the father? You don't have to tell me anything, of course, but…"

"He doesn't know yet," I admitted. "His name is Edward. I was, um, seeing him for a few months but things ended between us recently, and it didn't exactly go well."

"You have to tell him, Bella."

"I know. I know," I assured him. "I will. I just have to figure it out, and I'm not quite ready to face that yet."

"Is he a good guy?"

I thought for a moment, wondering what to really tell my dad about Edward. "He is," I finally assured him. "He just has some issues to work through, just like I do. But he's funny and smart. He's a nice guy. We had problems between us, but the larger issues were separate from each other."

"Will he be a good father?"

"Yes." I answered him without a second thought, knowing that Edward would be a great dad, even if he refused to ever sort out his problems.

"Good. All I care about is that he treats you and my grandchild right," my dad said.

"I know. Thank you."

He nodded, kissing the top of my head again. "By the way…congratulations, Bella. You'll be a great mom."

… …

 **SO.**

 **Yes, Bella is pregnant! However, I just want to ease a few of your worries-**

 **1\. This does not mean she and Edward are going to start dating just because she's pregnant.  
** **2\. She** _ **will**_ **absolutely** **be telling Edward that she's pregnant.  
** **3\. There's no big drama as to how she got pregnant- birth control fails, and unplanned pregnancies happen all the time.  
** **4\. Bella is still very much so focused on bettering herself, even more so now that she knows she's pregnant.**

 **I planned this pregnancy from the very beginning, just so you know. It's not just about the two of them anymore!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Happy Fourth of July everyone! I had a long holiday weekend but I had very few plans. Just relaxing and trying to get better organized/decorated in my new place. My fiance actually got a job offer here, so I'm very excited! But they're still negotiating, and the earliest he'll start is the middle of August. But hey, I can wait if it means he'll be here for good! Hope everyone else had a good weekend!**

 **Thank you so much for your response to the last chapter. I know it was probably a surprise but she is in fact pregnant and things are changing for her.** _ **But**_ **I think you'll like how things go. Enjoy the chapter!**

 **Btw, I did make an error in the last chapter. I know that they count your pregnancy starting at your last period, but it totally slipped my mind! Thanks to the reviewer who pointed this out, and correctly said that based on the estimate the clinic she went to, Bella is really eight weeks, not six.**

… …

"Here, I got you some prenatal vitamins." Alice was unpacking her shopping bags in my kitchen, covering my counters with her latest haul. She set the giant bottle of vitamins down and pushed them towards me. "You should start taking them now. Only thirty something weeks left- no time to waste! You have to give that little baby all the nutrient he or she needs so that I can squeeze some fat little cheeks when you finally pop!"

Alice had been a little miffed when she found out Rosalie knew about the pregnancy before she did, but had gotten over that quickly and had totally thrown herself into it. She had bought tons of healthy food, vitamins, tums, cocoa butter, and even something that looked suspiciously like a giant elastic waistband that I was _not_ looking forward to needing. "There's a body pillow in my car, too. I just couldn't carry everything up," Alice added.

"Thank you, really, but don't you think you went a little overboard?" I started sifting through some of the food she had bought and putting it away in the cabinets and refrigerator.

"No! You'll need all this stuff. And I'm happy to help out."

Rosalie came in through the front door then, carrying what I could only assume was the body pillow Alice had bought.

"About time," Alice chided. "Put that in Bella's bedroom. It's for her to sleep with. I don't quite get it, but it's supposed to help her."

"I was _on the phone_!" Rosalie stuck her tongue out at Alice, but dutifully went and put the pillow on my bed.

Alice laughed, going right back to her purchases. "She's been cranky ever since Emmett took that big job in South County. He's been working like crazy," she said in a faux whisper. I nodded like I understood, but in reality, I was a little jealous of Rosalie. She obviously loved Emmett, and they hated to be apart from each other. It made me wonder about Edward, and reminded me that I needed to talk to him- sooner rather than later.

Rosalie wandered back into the kitchen, looking at everything Alice had bought while they were at the store. "I told you that you bought too much. She's like two months pregnant and does not need all of this stuff yet. Or possibly ever, considering the crazy variety you bought." She started stacking up a few of the books, pausing when she got to the last one. "Did you really have to buy this one?"

She held up the book- _The Expectant Father_ , and gave me a sympathetic look. Alice, however, clearly wasn't feeling guilty.

"She's pregnant, she's keeping the baby, and she is telling Edward. Why shouldn't I have gotten this? Bella wants him to be involved, and she can give him this to let him know that."

"Yeah, but if he _doesn't_ want to be involved, then Bella's stuck with this book. And who knows what he's going to do. Edward is a fucking mess."

I winced slightly at her words, knowing that she had heard a lot about Edward lately from Emmett. She had spared me most of the details out of concern for me, but apparently Edward had been a little out of control lately. Even though she was being completely supportive of _me,_ Rosalie had absolutely no sympathy for him, and after I had told her the full story of why and how we had parted ways, her feelings had soured even further. Alice was trying to remain neutral, and I was just agonizing about how to actually tell Edward.

"She doesn't need to hear that." Alice reached over and took the book away from Rosalie. "She wants to tell him, and it's already hard enough for her."

"I'm right here," I reminded her, trying to keep my voice gentle. I wasn't mad at her- no, I was grateful for her support and for standing up to Rosalie when I didn't. "I am telling Edward. And I'll give him this book when I do."

Rosalie sighed, putting one arm around me. "I'm sorry, Bella. Really. I told you that I'll support you, and I mean that. You're doing the right thing, and I'm very proud of you."

I thanked her, and after we put away the mountain of things that Alice had bought, the three of us sat on the couch, talking and laughing for hours. It was almost just old times, except for the fact that in several months, I would be a mother. I knew Rosalie and Alice would still be in my life, and in the baby's life, but _my_ own life would take a completely different turn.

I was still scared, and still very unsure of what my future looked like. But I knew that my baby would never be short on love.

… …

My dad squeezed my and, I couldn't help but smile at the look on his face. We were at my doctor's appointment, and I didn't think it would possible, but it really did look like he could be more excited than I was. The doctor had already performed my exam, during which my dad had stayed in the waiting room, but now the doctor wanted an ultrasound to confirm how far along I was and to give me a better estimation of my due date than the free clinic had been able to.

The ultrasound technician explained what she would be doing during the ultrasound, and I wasn't even embarrassed when she showed me the device she would use to complete the internal ultrasound- I was too excited.

"There you go," the tech said, pointing to the screen. "That's your baby. Looks like the clinic was only off by a little bit…" she paused, taking measurements. "You're ten weeks along."

My dad and I were quiet for a while, and I felt him squeeze my hand. When I finally tore my eyes away from the screen, I turned to him and saw that there were tears in his eyes. I wiped away my own tears, and gratefully accepted the sonogram pictures that she printed out for me. I had been greedy and asked for four copies- one for me, one for my dad, one for Alice and Rosalie…and one for Edward.

After I got redressed, my dad and I left the office together and grabbed a quick lunch. He talked about the baby almost the whole time; wondering what he or she would be like. I could tell that he wanted to ask me more about Edward, but he didn't.

I knew the clock was ticking, and that I should have driven to Edward's house that night and given him the ultrasound picture. But I didn't.

… …

While I had been in my first year of college, my freshman orientation mentor, Irina, had been a nursing student. I hadn't seen much of her since then, but had kept in touch through Facebook. Now I had reached out to her, because I knew that she had just graduated from nursing school…and also just had a baby. I was still waiting to hear back from my schools, but knew that decisions would come soon. I had no idea if it was realistic for me to enter school at this point, but I hoped that I could. It had been my dream for a long time.

"Congrats on nursing school," Irina said, somehow juggling her baby and cup of coffee seamlessly as we got situated at our table.

"Oh, thanks. But I haven't heard back from anywhere yet," I admitted. "I actually…well, I wanted to talk to you about school, but especially because I knew you had just had a baby, and…I'm pregnant."

Irina smiled sympathetically, looking down at her little boy for a moment before replying. "And you still want to start school?"

"I do. I just don't know if it's possible."

"Well, it will be hard. I want to stress that first. But it's possible. You'd have to take time off, of course. But if you're pregnant at the start, you won't have to worry about missing clinicals or encountering some of the… _messier_ aspects of nursing. You'll be missing class. When are you due, if you don't mind me asking?"

"No, of course. I'm due in August."

"Well, that works out pretty well, actually. If school starts in August, you might be able to get away with missing the first few weeks. There was a girl in the year above me who missed due to some medical issues, but they allowed her to make up the work. Don't get me wrong, Bella. It will be hard, and stressful. But it is possible."

That was all I really needed to hear. If it was possible, I would make it work. I knew that there were very hard times ahead of me, but I would do whatever I had to in order to make this possible. Not only did I not want to give up on my dreams, but I also wanted to provide for my unborn child. I knew that the first few years would be hard, but I hoped that the other people in my baby's life would help make it a little easier.

My dad, of course, had already called dibs on being chief babysitter, and Sue was completely onboard. She was almost as bad as Alice- already buying baby items for my place and for theirs. And Alice and Rosalie were itching to be "aunts", and had promised their babysitting services as well.

And Edward. I had told my dad that Edward would be a great father- and I really did believe that. Edward would take responsibility, I knew that. But what I really feared, and the reason why I was dragging my feet, was his first reaction. This was a shock, obviously, and we had not left things on good terms. Added to that, I knew he clearly had issues to work through and I wanted him to do that, not just for himself but for our baby.

This baby deserved nothing but the best- and that meant this we as parents had to be the best versions of ourselves, too.

… …

 **Please, please, please be assured that Edward IS GOING TO BE TOLD. They will talk next chapter. And the chapter after that will be EPOV. Also, the timeline for acceptance into school is a little skewed. I know that, but it's what worked for the story so I'm rolling with it.**

 **Thanks for joining me on this ride and I hope to see you for the next chapter. Happy Fourth again : )**


	18. Chapter 18

**If we're friends on Facebook, you may have seen that this story will have a sequel! If we're not friends and you'd like to be, my profile is Cynosure Fanfic. Although the sequel won't be posted until my other story** _ **, Ineffable,**_ **is near its end, I do have some of it ready, and here are a few teasers.**

 **There are still nine chapters left in this story, but it will end with the baby being born, and no, Edward and Bella still won't have their shit together at this point. That's what the sequel will be for! However, this story still technically has a happy ending and the sequel will, as well. I don't really consider this a spoiler because rest assured, all of my stories will conclude with happy endings.**

 **Enjoy the chapter! We'll be hearing from Edward next week.**

 **... ...**

This was something that I couldn't put off any longer, but I was still conflicted.

After all, I had been the one to refuse to let our relationship turn into something more. I still felt that this had been the right decision, because I knew I needed to work on myself before I could even open my mind to the idea of being in a relationship when I had spent a lot of time convincing myself it was impossible. A healthy relationship wouldn't be possible if I didn't address my own issues.

But Edward had admitted to wanting more, and even if I had been ready, I couldn't be serious with him knowing that he was holding so much of himself back from me. That day when things ended between us, Edward had proven to me that he wasn't willing to try, even if his feelings had changed. And it had hurt. I had kissed him and told him that I thought that if we both fixed our problems, we could have something great. I had wanted him to try, and he flat out said he wouldn't.

I regretted telling him that I still didn't want anything more. That had been a lie, because I did desperately want to get to a place where that kind of thing was possible. I wanted to fix my relationship issues and fear of commitment. But I had also wanted- no, needed, him to try too, and his refusal hurt.

We were going to have a baby. That didn't mean that we had to be together, but it did mean that we would be in each other's lives from now on. Rosalie had asked me what I would do if Edward didn't want to be a part of the baby's life, and it hadn't even been something that I considered until she brought it up.

I had meant it when I had told my dad that Edward would be a great father. And I didn't want to say to Edward "you don't have to be involved if you don't want to be". Maybe that worked for some people, but I wanted Edward to know that I did want him to be a part of this baby's life.

So it's now or never.

… …

"Hello?"

I was almost surprised that he had answered, and honestly wouldn't have blamed him if he hadn't. But he had, and relief washed over me. "Hey." My voice sounded strange, and I took a deep breath. "How are you?"

There was silence for a moment, but then he finally spoke. "I'm good, thanks."

"Good. I'm glad."

A few more seconds ticked by, and he cleared his throat. "Was there something you wanted, Bella? Because I have a class starting soon."

"Oh, um, actually...yes. I really need to talk to you."

"Okay...talk."

As tempting as it was to just get it over with, I did not want to have this conversation over the phone, and rush to fit it in before Edward had to go teach his class.

"Well, we should really talk in person. If you have the time, we could meet for...I don't know, coffee or something."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

I closed my eyes, willing myself to just push through this. He would know soon enough. "I really do. It's important, Edward."

"Okay. Okay, I can do that. If you're sure that's what you want."

I wondered where he thought this conversation was going, or what he thought I might have to say to him. It didn't really matter, though. What mattered was that he had agreed, and that I was finally going to come clean. "It is. I know you have class so you can just get back to me about a time that would work for you. I can work my schedule around that."

"Yeah, okay. I'll text you."

"Okay. Thanks, Edward."

… …

He had texted me later that night, just before midnight. It was simple, just a time and a place, but it gave me a lot of hope.

I met him at the coffee shop he had suggested, just a few blocks away from my apartment. he stood up as I approached, pulling my chair out for me.

"I ordered you a tea. I hope that's okay."

He pushed the beverage towards me, and I accepted with a smile and a thank you.

"So...I've kind of been freaking out since you called yesterday," he admitted, his eyes glued to the coffee in front of him. "Because even though I really hated how all of this went down, I'm still struggling to open up. I put that part of my life behind me, and I want it to stay there. I know-"

"I'm sorry," I blurted out, interrupting him. "I really need to talk to you, Edward, and I'm going to lose my nerve if I don't just get it out."

"Oh, um...okay."

I reached out and touched his hand, wanting him to look at me. He did, green eyes full of uncertainty. I hated this. He had hurt me, but god, I knew I had hurt him, too. It wasn't fair how many things had gone wrong due to stubbornness, uncertainty, and sometimes just bad timing.

Pulling the sonogram picture out of my bag, I carefully placed it between us on the table, face up. "I'm pregnant, Edward."

He stared at me for a long moment, then his eyes dropped down to the photo. He took it with both hands, gazing down at it. I wished I could read his expression, but I couldn't. I had no idea what he was thinking; what was racing through his mind right now.

"I'm about ten weeks," I continued slowly, like it would help him process the giant bomb I just dropped. "And I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. But I am, and I want you to be involved, Edward. I want you to be a part of this and know that I think you will be an incredible father. I understand if you need some time to...I don't know, to process all of this, I guess. Take all the time you need."

He shook his head, still looking at the picture. "I...I don't know what to say."

"That's okay. I can wait."

"You're pregnant?"

I nodded, biting my lip.

Edward stood up abruptly. "I'm sorry. I can't do this right now."

"Edward..." I started to try and stop him, but trailed off. What else could I really say when he had obviously been blindsided? Instead, I just watched him go.

… …

I went home in tears, wondering how this could possibly play out. I felt a little bit better after Alice came over with takeout for dinner, but wasn't truly soothed until Edward texted me late that night.

 _I'm sorry,_ he wrote. _Can we meet up again tomorrow?_

After some thought, I agreed. He had been completely shocked, to be fair, by my news. Coupled with the way we had ended things between us, I could understand that he was overwhelmed. And I did want him in our child's life- as long as he realized that there was no going back on that. I would be heartbroken if he said he didn't want to be involved at all, but I would have to accept that as his decision to make and to live with. Either way, I expected him to stand firm in his choice.

It was the only way this would work.

… …

This time, Edward asked if I'd be willing to meet him at his office because he had been swamped with work. I agreed, and just a few minutes before the time he had specified, I was waiting outside his office.

When I found the door shut, I had knocked and heard Edward's muffled "hold on a minute" after a few moments of silence. So i sat in one of the chairs by the door, holding the pregnancy book Alice had bought for him, along with the sonogram that he'd left on the table the day before.

The door swung open, and I was surprised to see that while it wasn't Edward, it _was_ a familiar face that emerged.

"Oh." Chelsea stopped, smiling down at me. "Hi! Bella, right?"

I stood, shaking the hand that she offered me. "Yes. It's nice to see you again."

"You, too."

I tucked the book and the picture close to my chest as we spoke briefly, even though I wasn't really sure why I didn't want her to see what I was bringing Edward. People knew I was pregnant, of course, but only those that i had consciously chosen to tell. It still seemed very private, especially not knowing how Edward was feeling.

"Well, it was good to run into you," I said. "But Edward's expecting me."

"Oh, of course. Have a nice day, Bella."

I watched her walk away from a moment, wondering why she was here. It wasn't any of my business, really, but I couldn't help those thoughts that popped into my head. But I didn't dwell on them. Instead, I squared my shoulders and peeked into Edward's office.

He was sitting behind his desk, phone in hand. The moment he looked up and saw me, I heard my phone start to chime.

"Oh, um, that's me," Edward said, holding his phone up to show me the screen before ending the call. "I just wanted to make sure you were still coming…but here you are."

"Here I am."

I stood there awkwardly for a moment, and it took Edward a minute to react. "Oh! I'm sorry. Have a seat." He stood up hastily and cleared off one of the chairs across from his desk, moving the books and papers onto the floor.

I sat down, and Edward returned to his seat.

"You left this." I slid the picture over to him across the desk, watching his face carefully.

He looked tentative as he took the picture, looking more closely at it than he had yesterday. The expression on his face softened. "Thank you."

"And I got this for you. Well, my friend Alice did."

I offered him the book, and he took it hesitantly. I watched as he flipped through a few of the pages, looking totally lost.

"I am sorry for springing all of this on you. But I felt like I already waited too long to tell you, and I meant it when I said that I want you to be involved. It's your choice, but I…I want you to know that I _do_ hope you decide to be involved."

"Thank you, Bella," Edward said quietly. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I was surprised, but I shouldn't have run out on you. On…the baby."

I watched as he propped the sonogram picture up against a picture frame on his desk, and placed the book in his laptop bag.

"I want this. This is a surprise, but…I want to be involved in every way."

Relief washed over me, and even though things still felt uncomfortable between us, I thought we could make it work. "I'm glad. Really, I am. But Edward…I just have to make sure you know that there's no going back. And that goes for both of us- I don't want him or her to have a parent go through a revolving door their whole life. It's scary. I'm terrified, I really am. But I'm all in, and I need to know that you are, too. Because it's not just about you and me anymore."

… …

 **Thanks for reading! I hope this chapter was worth the slightly longer wait- I had some issues yesterday with the email account that I had saved my draft in and wasn't able to access it. Anyway, hopefully you enjoyed. Btw, accidentally typed "Tanya" instead of "Chelsea" in the first post- this has been updated.**

 _ **Ineffable**_ **could maybe be late this week, but I'm not sure. I'm going to be out of town again this weekend, helping my fiancé pack up the apartment and also making time to see a bunch of old friends. I'll try to get the chapter in, but if it doesn't work out, I'll post on Facebook letting you know.**


	19. Chapter 19

**I'm a little late tonight, but as promised, this chapter is in EPOV! It's also building off of the last chapter so you'll get a few more answers that I know you've be wanting that the last chapter kind of left up in the air. Enjoy!**

 **Let me know what you think, as always. This update came a little later in the day than usual…it's just about eleven at night my time as I write this intro…but this chapter was much harder to write than I anticipated!**

 **Anyway, here's a little bit from Edward.**

… …

 **Edward Cullen**

I sat in my office, a glass of whiskey in my hand.

As soon as I had left Bella, I regretted it. I cancelled my lecture that afternoon and had been holed up in my home office ever since.

Bella was pregnant.

I was going to be a father.

And I hated the way I had reacted- it was something I would never be able to take back.

… …

By some miracle, it seemed like Bella was willing to give me another chance.

I thought about what she had said when she told me- that she wanted me to be involved…and that she thought I'd be a good father.

I hadn't given fatherhood a single serious thought since Savannah and I talked about it, right before we got married. We agreed to wait until I was done with graduate school to start a family, and that had been that. Now here I was- about to become a father and I had almost blown it myself this time.

She would be here in ten minutes, and I still couldn't figure out what to say. Or how I could make her see how sorry I was. I was deep in thought when I heard a knock at the door. Thinking that Bella was early, I stood and opened the door.

"Chelsea."

The blonde slipped past me into my office, smiling. "Hey. I hope you don't mind- the lady at the main desk told me where your office was."

"Oh…no, that's okay. It's just that I'm expecting someone."

I knew Chelsea from graduate school, but other than Emily and Sam's wedding, I hadn't seen her in a long time. I couldn't imagine what she was doing here now.

"I was hoping we could talk. Is there a time that's better for you?"

Sighing, I glanced at my watch. "I have five minutes. Is that enough time?"

"It's a start."

She was looking at the books on the floor to ceiling bookshelf that took up the entirety of the small wall that ran perpendicular to my desk.

"I've been offered a job here at the university," she told me, her back still to me. "So I'm going to be moving here."

"That's great," I said, leaning against my desk and crossing my arms over my chest. "We'll have to get dinner sometime."

She nodded, smiling brightly. "Why not tonight?" She stepped closer to me, and I tensed when she placed her hand on my arm. "Remember when you and Tanya broke up? I asked you out, but you said you'd need to take a raincheck. Well, Edward, I've given you one hell of a raincheck."

I looked at her. She was beautiful, and intelligent. But she wasn't what I wanted.

"Sorry, Chelsea."

She patted my arm, taking a step back. "Okay. Well can't blame a girl for trying."

"I'll see you around though, yeah?"

"Yeah. Maybe we can get coffee instead of dinner after I make the permanent move down."

"I'm assuming that'll be at the beginning of next semester?"

She started to reply, but was cut off by a knock on my office door.

 _Bella_.

"Hold on a minute!" I said loudly, then turned back towards the blonde. "Look, Chelsea, I'm sorry to rush you out but like I said, I was expecting someone."

"I understand. Can I have your card?"

"Sure."

I grabbed one from my desk, handing it to her. "It was good to see you, Chelsea. Welcome to the university."

She thanked me, giving me a sweet smile before letting herself out of the office. The door remained open, but Bella didn't come in.

A few minutes went by, and I started to worry that it either hadn't been Bella that knocked, or that she had gotten fed up waiting and left. I dialed her phone, but as soon as the call started to go through, Bella poked her head into my office.

"Oh," I said, hearing her phone start to chime and hanging up. "Um, that's me. I just wanted to make sure you were still coming…but here you are."

She nodded, closing the door to my office behind her. "Here I am."

I suddenly felt incredibly nervous, and by the time I had a seat cleared off for her and had sat back down in my car, I had to hold my hands together to stop them from shaking.

"You left this."

She pushed the sonogram picture towards me, and I looked at it again.

Just like yesterday, I couldn't make anything out. But it was early, and I knew that my baby really was in there. This time, instead of walking out, I propped the picture up on the picture frame next to my computer, vowing to get a new frame for it. Bella gave me a book, and I was touched by her thoughtfulness.

She had been shocked, just like I was. This hadn't been planned. But she had made her choice, and now she gave me another chance. I vowed not to waste it, and she needed to know that.

"I want this. This is a surprise, but…I want to be involved in every way."

The relief was obvious on her face, and she managed a small smile before she spoke. "I'm glad. Really, I am. But Edward…" she paused, taking a deep breath. "I just have to make sure you know that there's no going back. And that goes for both of us- I don't want him or her to have a parent go through a revolving door their whole life. It's scary. I'm terrified, I really am. But I'm all in, and I need to know that you are, too. Because it's not just about you and me anymore."

"I know that. And I understand. I'm all in, and I'm glad you are too."

"This wasn't planned." Bella's voice had dropped to a whisper, and I could see that tears were gathering in her eyes. "And I had a very, very hard time at first. I didn't know what I was going to do. But I love this baby, Edward. I love your baby."

Now tears gathered in my eyes, too, and I hurried to wipe them away. "Do you need anything from me? How are you feeling?"

"I'm…I'm okay. Just morning sickness so far. Well, not morning sickness." She laughed dryly, shaking her head. "It's usually at night."

"Do you have another doctor's appointment? I'd like to come, if that's okay with you."

I would have liked to go to the first one, but I think I understood. She had been scared, and she said that her dad went with her. I was just glad that she hadn't had to go alone.

"I don't have one scheduled for a while. They said I should have one a month until I'm about thirty weeks. So three weeks from now. I'll send you the information. If you can't come, let me know and I'll try and reschedule. I'm glad you want to come."

"Yeah, of course. I've never given it much thought…but I'd really like to see it. Hear the heartbeat."

She smiled. "I understand."

"Thank you, Bella, for giving me another chance."

"I wasn't sure what to do," she admitted. "I was shocked when I found out. And things just… _fell apart_ between us. I wasn't sure you'd ever want to hear from me again."

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, but knew we probably needed to get some things out into the open if we would be able to do this together. "It really is a mess, isn't it? I'm sorry, too, for what it's worth."

"Edward, how you acted really hurt me. But I understand that this wasn't one-sided. I know that it must have been incredibly hard for you to admit that things had changed for you- but I wish you had been honest with me as soon as you started feeling differently. I honestly don't think things would have happened that differently, but it would have hurt a lot less. But what hurt the most, Edward, was that you admitted to having feelings for me, but still wouldn't open up to me about things that really are important.

And it's not that I couldn't feel more for you. It was that I just didn't have a healthy idea of what a relationship really is. And I'm still working on that. I also know that I have to work on my mental health and have a healthier approach to relationships before I can move forward."

Bella spoke plainly with me, and I appreciated it. It also honestly opened my eyes to more of _why_ things had happened the way that they did.

Being rejected after finally admitting the truth to her had hurt. Against everything I believed, I had started to fall for Bella Swan, and it had been a very long time since I had felt that way about someone.

"I know that you feel this way, and I understand that you're trying to work through your problems," I said carefully. "Thank you for being honest with me. And I know that I need to be honest with you."

She held her hand up, stopping me. "You don't owe me that explanation right now, Edward. We are going to be parents. And I think that it would be best if we just focused on that."

Her voice cracked, but her gaze remained firm and I could see the conviction in her eyes. "What we need is to be able to co-parent and be able to work with each other. That's all I'm asking for."

Part of me wished she would ask for more, but then I realized that she already had. And I had shut her down coldly, refusing to open up.

Now we were going to be parents, and we couldn't risk crossing lines as we transitioned to this new territory. I understood, but I wished it didn't have to be this way. I wish I had just been honest with her from the start, even if it meant she would never look at me the same way again.

… …

 **I hope you enjoyed!**

 **Obviously we still have sooo much to learn about Edward- and honestly parts of that won't even come into play until we get into the sequel. However, rest assured there will be some big questions answered much sooner than that.**

 **Also, there was no hanky panky between Edward and Chelsea, and I want to assure you all that the story is going to remain strictly Edward/Bella. Can't blame a girl for trying though, I guess. He is Edward, after all!**

 **I hope that you enjoyed the EPOV this chapter but we are back to our normal BPOV for the next. There could possibly be an early update, but if not, I'll see you all next Tuesday!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hello, all! Thanks so much for reading. This is not a regular update day but you might have seen that I have some free time on my hands this weekend and I'm trying to get ahead on my stories. This story has seven chapters left after this one, and I'd like to be done with it in about a month. We'll see how that one goes.**

 **Please forgive me if the formatting on this chapter is a mess- fanfic kept giving me a type two error message when I tried to upload the chapter the normal way, so instead I had to go the copy and paste method and hope it came out looking decent. If it's not correct, I'll fix the issue as soon as I am able to. Thanks!**

 **… …**

I had been surprised when Edward had invited me over to his house for dinner, but I accepted.

Things had felt so awkward between us, and I was relieved that he not only seemed to sense that as well, but that he wanted to do something about it.

"Thank you for the invitation," I said, smiling at Edward as he ushered me in through the front door of his house. "Something smells good."

"I'm glad you could come." Edward took my coat from me, hanging it up on one of the hooks by the door. "I made some balsamic chicken and pasta. It's just too bad you can't have wine- if it's horrible, maybe that would mask it."

I laughed, feeling more at ease already. "I'm sure it's delicious."

"Well, it's almost done," he continued, leading me into the kitchen. "So we can eat soon."

"Great. Can I set the table, or get drinks?"

"No, just have a seat. Everything is set up in the dining room already."

I sat in one of the chairs at the kitchen island, trying not to remember the other times I had been in this same place. It seemed like a thousand years ago now; a different world. But I tried to push it from my mind and focused on Edward as he finished up dinner. He was still so handsome to me, and I loved when he wore his glasses.

"How are you feeling?"

"Good. The nausea has been bothering me a lot less. One of the books I've been reading said it will most likely stop next week…when I'm out of the first trimester."

Edward paused for a moment, but then picked up again like nothing had happened. "I can't believe you're almost out of the first trimester already. Do you think the whole thing will go by this fast?"

"I hope not," I admitted. "I've barely had time to wrap my mind around it."

"I was kind of hoping we could start doing this regularly. I don't want to only see you for doctor's appointments, or just to talk about the baby, even though that stuff is important. I know things went to shit, mostly because expectations both of us had that were probably impossible to begin with. But we always did have chemistry, right? Not just sexually. I always felt like we could joke around and talk without a problem."

"We could. And I'd like to still be able to do that, too."

He nodded, turning his attention back to the stove.

He was right. We _had_ always had great chemistry. But I had always told myself that part didn't matter, and that it would be best if we just focused on the sexual part of that chemistry. Of course, that hadn't worked. All along, I had been the one to insist that things remain casual. Edward had been just as insistent…until he wasn't.

I wished that I had handled things differently, but also that he had handled it differently, as well. I hated the way we had fallen apart, because it all could have been avoided.

Now, I could look back and see that I had started falling for Edward, too. My determination to never let myself be vulnerable in a relationship had made me blind to my own feelings. I still didn't know if I'd ever be able to completely silence my fears about relationships, but at least now I hoped that I could. It was a start.

A few more minutes passed before we were sitting at the table, filling our plates with food. "This is so good, Edward," I said in between bites.

"I'm glad you like it." He smiled, watching me for a moment. "I'm glad you changed your mind, by the way. About being co-parents and nothing more."

I had, in fact, changed my mind. After I had left his office, I realized that wasn't what was best for us. I didn't want to have a stilted, awkward relationship with the father of my child. So when he had texted me asking about my doctor's appointment and making sure it fit into his schedule, I had told him that if he was still open to it, we could work on something new- something better for all three of us.

So here we were, and it was actually… _nice_. We could do this.

The doctor's appointment I had originally scheduled had fallen on a day that Edward had a presentation at the University. Luckily, though, my doctor was able to fit me in for an appointment earlier that same week- an appointment that fit into both of our schedules. At that point, I would be fourteen weeks pregnant. I knew that Edward was excited to hear the heartbeat, and I was too, but mostly, I just wanted to hear that everything was progressing normally.

"You've grown up a lot, Bella."

I frowned slightly, at first taking his comment as an insult.

"I don't mean that in a bad way," he said quickly. "I mean, when we met you had just turned twenty one and you were already off on your one. That's impressive. You had a good job already, and plans to go into nursing. It's just that…I don't know. It's a different kind of maturity now."

"This has all been very…I don't know. I've had to start taking things more seriously. My dad has been emailing me stuff daily about _everything._ Insurance, the best car seats, new apartments…it's never ending."

"Insurance. Are you insured through your job?" Edward asked, furrowing his brow.

"No, actually. But I'm only twenty one- still on my dad's insurance. And then once I start nursing school, I can get insurance through that."

"Well, the baby should be on my insurance."

I hesitated for a moment, but thought about it. I was sure Edward's insurance was better than what I received from my father's policy, and _far_ better than what I would receive as a student. "That would be a good idea."

"Good. I'll find out how to get that set up on Monday."

"Thank you," I said quietly.

Edward reached across the table, hesitating for a moment but then placing his hand over mine. "Of course, Bella. Anything you need, please don't hesitate. I'll try and anticipate things but please, tell me. I don't want you to feel like you're alone in this."

"Okay." I felt tears in my eyes, and I pulled my hand away from his to wipe them away. He smiled slightly, withdrawing his hand. "I appreciate it."

"It's my baby, too. I will do anything."

… …

I stared at myself in the mirror, stunned by what I saw.

My tummy had been growing more firm, but it hadn't looked like anything more than slight bloating. Now, it seemed like I had grown a bump overnight. I turned this way and that, looking at it in the mirror's reflection. I covered it with my hands, and I didn't bother to hold back my smile.

I stood like that for a moment, then went off in search of my phone. I returned to my spot in front of the mirror, turning to the side, and snapped a picture.

I sent it to Edward with a simple caption – _twelve weeks._

… …

"Maybe it's too early to be shopping for this." I spoke gently, knowing it wasn't what Alice wanted to hear. It was all in good fun, of course, and I loved her enthusiasm, but I was nowhere near ready to start buying baby items.

"It's never too early!" she protested, not looking up from the strollers she was examining. "Besides, wouldn't it be better to spread out your purchases? You'll need a lot of things. I mean…yeah, you'll get a lot at your baby shower and you know me and Rose, not to mention your dad and his girlfriend, will be buying things. But it doesn't hurt to stop shopping now. That way, you'll know that you won't need anything at all when the baby comes. You'll be all set."

I knew she was probably right, but I was overwhelmed by the choices. "I don't know anything about baby stuff, Alice."

"That's why we're looking now! Research!"

"Okay."

I followed her around the store for a while, reading all the information cards and trying to wrap my mind around it. I couldn't imagine ever being able to decide on one of these in store- I'd need to spend lots of time researching. Not to mention this was all going to be incredibly expensive. I knew I had help, especially from Edward, but I still wanted some semblance of independence. Besides, Edward and I would need to _each_ buy these things, for the most part. He didn't need to buy two ridiculously expensive strollers or car seats.

"Are you feeling okay, Bella?"

I smiled at Alice, not bothering to hide the weariness she could clearly already see. "Just tired."

"Well, let's forget this for now. We got a lot of information, and I know you're not ready to buy."

We left the store, and Alice asked me if I was up to coming back to her place to get the book I had asked her to order for me. I agreed, knowing I could go home and curl up for a nap as soon as I was done there.

Rosalie greeted me enthusiastically, practically yanking me into the apartment. "You have a baby bump!" She cried, grinning. "Can I touch?"

"Of course."

I watched her press her hands against the hardness of my belly, loving the smile on her face.

"Hi, Bella."

I turned to see Emmett in the doorway to the kitchen, leaning against the frame. He was looking at his girlfriend, smiling at how she marveled at the evidence of my pregnancy.

"Hi, Emmett. It's good to see you."

He surprised me slightly with a hug, but it was welcome. I hugged him back, realizing that not only did Rosalie love this man madly, but also that he was the baby's uncle.

"Edward showed me the picture you sent him yesterday. You look good."

I laughed, shaking my head. "Right now, maybe. Just wait until I look like I swallowed a bowling ball."

"Nah, it's still going to be cute as hell."

Emmett patted my stomach slightly. "Keep cookin, niece or nephew. I'll see you in a few months."

"Aw, Uncle Emmett," Rosalie cooed, kissing him gently.

I smiled at their display, even though I remembered, not long ago, when I thought it was all too good to be true. I still struggled, but I saw now that maybe there was such thing as true love. I saw it here, and I saw it between my dad and Sue. Maybe it was possible, and maybe one day it could happen for me.

However, I was sure that I already understood one other type of true love- the love I felt for the baby inside of me, and the love that countless others already had for him or her, too.

… …

 **Thank you, as always, for reading! I appreciate it so much. Thank you also to those who pointed out a misplaced word last chapter- it is fixed now thanks to you bringing it to my attention.**

 **I hope to update again on Tuesday, which is the actual planned update day. If not, it will be later in the week. I'll see you guys then! Only seven chapters left, if you can believe it. If you'd like to see the picture for the sequel to this story, it's on my facebook page! My profile is Cynosure Fanfic, and if you add me I'll accept as soon as possible. Thanks!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Welcome back! I hope you've been enjoying the story. Not too much longer to go on this one!**

 **We will hear from Edward again before the end of this one, and he will have some of his own chapters in the sequel.**

 **Thanks for reading, and let me know what you thought at the end, if you'd be so kind!**

… …

Edward's leg was shaking so much, it was rattling _my_ chair, too.

I touched his leg gently, and it stilled. "Nervous?"

He blew out a breath, looking sheepish. "Kind of. But mostly excited."

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you in time for my first appointment. I've been thinking about it a lot, and it wasn't fair-"

"Isabella Swan?"

The nurse who called my name smiled as Edward and I stood and hurried to her. She ushered us down the hallway and into an exam room, where I handed my phone and my purse over to Edward before stepping on the scale.

"Okay, so I see in your chart that you're fourteen weeks," she began, peeking over my shoulder so she could see the display when it beeped. "And you've gained two pounds since your last visit, which is fine. Go ahead and have a seat, and I'll check your blood pressure."

I did as she asked, rolling up my sleeve to give her better access.

"Perfect," she announced. "Now, any more nausea? Cramping? Spotting?'

"No," I answered. "Well, a little nausea still, but it's hardly bothering me at all anymore."

"Good. Do you have any other concerns? Feeling okay otherwise?"

"No, I feel fine."

I was awed when she measured and told me that the baby was fourteen centimeters now. That seemed so impossibly tiny, and yet I couldn't believe all of this growth was happening inside of me.

Edward seemed fascinated throughout the whole appointment. He asked questions and listened thoughtfully, and paid attention to everything I said, too. And when he got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time, the smile on his face grew impossibly larger and his eyes became glassy. And although I had already thought so, now I knew without a doubt that he loved this baby just as much as I did.

… … _._

"I've seen Emmett around a lot lately."

I had been starving after my appointment, so Edward and I had stopped at a deli down the street for a late lunch. After practically inhaling my own sandwich in a matter of just a few minutes, I now sat back and sipped on my water as Edward finished his lunch.

"Yeah, lately it seems like when he's not on a job, he's spending his time with Rosalie. But I'm glad- he seems really happy. And I've never seen him this way before, so I know Rosalie must be pretty special."

"My best friend and your brother- who would've thought?"

Edward chuckled at my teasing. "And now Emmett will be an uncle. He said he had been teasing Rosalie about just being an honorary aunt while he'll be real uncle. But don't worry- she gave him hell for it."

"Good," I laughed. "I am happy that he'll be the baby's uncle, though. I'm really getting to know him, and he's growing on me."

"I'm glad, too."

We were silent for a moment before I spoke up again. "You have another brother, right?"

Edward nodded. "Peter. He's the oldest, and lives in Chesterfield. He and his wife, Charlotte, actually really want to meet you. They've been asking me about it a lot. I know our...boundaries are kind of blurry right now as we figure out how to do this, but if you're okay with it, I thought the four of us could have dinner sometime. Just, you know, so they can get to know you before the baby comes."

"That would be nice."

He was right- the boundaries _were_ blurry right now. But as long as we were doing what we both decided would be best for the baby and for us as parents, then we would be okay.

"I don't have any siblings," I added. "So I'm glad the baby will still get to have aunts and uncles on your side. And then hopefully some cousins, eventually."

"Me, too. But, um, I actually was also thinking about my parents. I...I haven't told them yet." Edward pushed his empty sandwich wrapper to the side and leaned closer. "I just haven't figured out how to. I want it to be more than just a phone call, you know? I mean, this is their first grandchild. It should be more special than that."

I knew his parents lived out on the west coast, and it reminded me how lucky I felt to have my dad so close. Even though I had a lot of support from others, there was nothing quite like the support of your parents when you really needed them.

"Well, you don't want to wait too long. But I understand wanting it to be not just through a phone call, if that can be avoided. When will you see them in person next?"

"Actually, for Peter's birthday. It's in a few weeks. I guess waiting just a little while longer would be better than over the phone."

"Do you think they'll be excited?"

"Oh, definitely," Edward said immediately. "They've been _begging_ for grandchildren for years now. My mom especially."

"My dad is pretty excited, too. He didn't expect to be a grandpa for another couple of years, at least, but he's so happy. And to think, I was terrified to tell him."

Edward laughed, shaking his head. "It's kind of funny, isn't it? We're both adults and we're worried about what our parents think about us having a baby."

"It is," I agreed. "When I told my dad, I suddenly felt like I was sixteen years old again."

I really had worried about telling my dad- I felt like he was the only parent I had left, and I had always been afraid of disappointing him. And while his support and joy over becoming a grandparent made me so happy, I also thought about my mom a lot. The last time we had talked had been that awful phone call on her birthday, and I had felt like she hadn't even wanted to speak to me.

Now, she was going to be a grandmother, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle it if she rejected my baby the same way she had rejected me.

… …

"Are you sure I look okay?"

I looked at my reflection in the mirror yet again.

I couldn't believe my belly right now- I really, really looked pregnant.

"You look great." Alice smiled at me, then gently patted my stomach. "Baby thinks so, too."

I tried to smile, but ended up just doing a sort of grimace at my reflection, unconvinced.

"Why are you so nervous, Bella?"

I hesitated, because I really wasn't sure why. It all boiled down to wanting Peter and Charlotte to like me. But even if they didn't for whatever reason, why should that matter? I had never really been the sort of person to be bothered if a person liked me or not. And it wasn't like Edward was my boyfriend. Then, I could se being nervous about meeting his brother and sister in law. But he wasn't, and I _still_ felt nervous.

"They wouldn't have asked to meet you if they didn't want to get along," Alice pointed out, filling the silence. And I'm sure they're excited about the cute little baby in your belly. If anything, just keep the conversation baby related. Or just-"

My phone rang, cutting her off. She picked it up, glanced at the display, and then tossed it to me. "It's Edward."

"Hey," I answered. "I'm almost done- I'll be down in a minute."

"Okay, no rush. I'm a few minutes early."

I grabbed my purse and slipped my shoes on, and I was unable to resist looking in the mirror one more time.

"Go!" Alice cried impatiently. "You look great!"

She was going to stay at my place for a little while longer to study, since Emmett and Rosalie were at their place, but promised to lock up when she left. I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, then was out the door.

I found Edward's car idling on the curb and slipped in. "Hi." I was a little breathless, but smiled at him. "Sorry, Alice was over."

"That's okay." He peeked over at me, his smile widening. "Wow. Bump has really grown since we last saw each other."

"Don't remind me- that wasn't even two weeks ago!" I groaned, but really, I loved my baby bump and didn't mind getting bigger if it meant the baby was healthy and growing.

When I had first told Edward that I was pregnant, he had been a little hesitant; asking every time if it was okay for him to touch my stomach. I appreciated his thoughtfulness, but it got old after a while. Luckily, I had been able to convince him that it didn't bother me, and that he could feel the baby without asking every single time.

Now he reached out without hesitating, grinning as he spread his hand over my stomach. "Have you felt Bump move yet?"

"No," I said, covering his hand with mine for just a moment. "Not yet."

"Well the book said sixteen weeks was probably the earliest you'd feel anything," Edward said as he pulled out onto the street and headed in the direction of the restaurant we were meeting Peter and Charlotte at. "So it might be a little while."

I loved how diligent he was about reading the books, and how much he cared about it.

"I just can't wait."

"Me either. And I have to wait even longer to feel something than you do."

He was pouting, but I understood.

"How's work?" He changed the subject, sticking to our promise to each other that we wouldn't only talk about the baby when we were together.

"Oh, it's fine. I'm still working full time hours, but I've already decided I'm going to switch to part time hours when I get to the third trimester. I'm already exhausted- I can't even imagine what'll be like when I'm huge."

I really was tiring much easier these days, but there was another side effect of my pregnancy that was bothering me, and one I hadn't expecting until I had started reading the books.

I was incredibly horny thanks to my hormones and probably also due to the fact that I hadn't had sex in a while. Edward constantly asked me how I was feeling or if I needed anything, and it took all I had not to tell him what I really needed was for him to whip out his dick and put it to work. But that was a whole other can of worms that I wasn't ready to open, so I kept my horny mouth shut.

"What about you?" I asked, trying to take my mind off it. "How's work?"

"Same old, same old. I'm doing a little less freelance work now, and working on getting my paper published. Then I've been asked to co-author a new book, so I have to delve into the archives and find something worth getting into."

"Wow. Have you ever written a book before?"

He smiled slightly. "I have, actually. Very boring, though. I expect some poor undergrad psych major is using it as a coaster this very minute."

"So, textbooks?"

"Yes. One I wrote by myself, and I use it to teach my class. Fairly basic, strictly about introductory industrial-organizational psychology. Then I've written sections of others or co-authored them. The university usually requires professors to keep up on their published works, whether it be journal articles or books."

"Ah, I see. So no books you could read to Bump at bedtime."

"Maybe. He or she might grow up to be a psychologist."

I smiled, rubbing my stomach. "Whatever Bump does, it'll be great."

We reached the restaurant a few minutes later, and Edward spotted Peter on Charlotte sitting at a table on the patio as soon as we pulled into the parking lot.

"Hey, guys," he said as we approached. He kissed Charlotte's cheek and hugged Peter, and I took the opportunity to observe them for a moment.

Peter was shorter than Edward and definitely Emmett, but still fairly tall. He had the same dark hair as Emmett, but cropped close to his head. And they all shared the same green eyes.

Charlotte was tall too, just a few inches shy of her husband. She had long blonde hair and the sweetest smile.

"You must be Bella." She focused on me as we all sat down, still smiling. "It is _so_ wonderful to meet you."

"Yes, it is. Thanks for coming out tonight," Peter added.

"Bella, this is my brother, Peter, and his wife, Charlotte." Edward made introductions, and I felt strangely at ease. Peter and Charlotte both seemed very easy going and open, and they obviously loved Edward.

"Congratulations on your pregnancy, Bella," Charlotte said. "We are so excited to have a baby in the family!"

Peter smiled at his wife, and congratulated me and Edward as well.

"Charlotte is already looking at baby clothes."

"Yes! I know a woman who owns a baby boutique and she always has the most adorable things in her store. Bella, you should come with me there sometime. I would love to pick some things out with you."

"That would be great," I said honestly. "I'm glad you're so excited about being an aunt and uncle."

"Of course we are. We were a little surprised when Edward told us, of course, but this is a blessing to our family. And you're a part of our family now, too, Bella. If you ever need anything from us, please don't hesitate to ask." Peter seemed so warm and genuine, it was almost overwhelming. But I thanked him, knowing that this was a wonderful family to be included in, even if this hadn't been planned.

Our night with off without a hitch, and I found myself genuinely enjoying Peter and Charlotte. Edward was more reserved than they were, but they all got along so well. Charlotte told me that she and Peter had been married for ten years now, and that both Emmett and Edward were like brothers to her now. The four of them were extremely close, especially since their parents lived out of state and they leaned on each other for support, instead.

"You'll love Esme," Charlotte gushed when the subject of Peter and Edward's parents was brought up. Charlotte was on her third glass of wine, and was even more hilarious under the influence of alcohol. "She is the most amazing woman. She had to be, to raise those three and survive."

I exchanged glances with Edward- we hadn't talked about his parents visit extensively, but had agreed that I should meet his parents at some point. He had tried to reassure me, but I was still especially nervous to meet them. Charlotte's rambling helped a little, but it wasn't enough to totally mollify me.

"I hope she can give me some advice, then," I finally said.

"Mom and Dad will both love you," Peter assured me, handing his wife his glass of water once her wine glass was empty. "You're more than welcome to come over to our house the Saturday that they're here- we're having a big get together, friends and family. We'd love to have you there."

"You could ride with me, if you want to go," Edward offered. "Emmett and Rosalie are supposed to carpool with me."

I was a little surprised at how welcoming this family was, even though I still greatly appreciated it. For how closed off Edward had been, I was thrown off by how welcoming the family was as a whole. But I would take it, knowing that it could have gone badly. It didn't escape anybody's notice that I was significantly younger than Edward, and had a lot less money than his family did. There could have been accusations and demands for a paternity test, but instead the baby and I were welcome with open arms.

I smiled at Edward across the table, relieved that this night had gone so well. He stared back for a moment before he smiled, but it never reached his eyes. For a moment, he just looked sad.

But as fast as the look had settled in his eyes, it was gone and replaced by a real smile.

… …

 **So it was Peter and Charlotte this chapter, and it'll be Carlisle and Esme next chapter! And although you probably already know the gender of the baby (if you saw the picture on Facebook announcing the sequel), but Edward and Bella will be finding out soon! Most likely next chapter as well.**

 **I'm still trying to squeeze in extra, full length updates in an effort to catch back up with this story since it was slow going for a while in terms of updates. Most of the chapters have at least a rough outline done, so that helps. Also please be assured that I'm not trying to put quantity of chapters over quality- I'm just trying to spend more time writing than usual.**

 **See you soon for the next chapter!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey, everyone! Hope you're having a good week so far, and that you've been enjoying the extra chapters!** _ **Ineffable**_ **will update, as scheduled, tomorrow, but then no more updates for the rest of the weekend. Zach and I are spending a long weekend in Des Moines, but I'll be up for the next chapter of this story by at least Tuesday.**

 **Finding out the sex of the baby in this chapter, and also meeting Esme and Carlisle! Let me know what you think.**

… …

It was raining on the afternoon of my doctor's appointment, but not even the torrential downpour and promise of freezing rain later could dampen my mood. Today was the day- we had both decided that we wanted to know the sex of the baby, and since I was now eighteen weeks, we would be able to find out today at my appointment.

Edward was obviously excited, too, because he called me to let me know that he was waiting downstairs almost half an hour earlier than he was supposed to pick me up.

"You're early!" I told him. "I'm not quite ready yet."

"I'll just wait down here."

"Just come up, we still have half an hour before we need to leave for the appointment."

He hesitated for a moment. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Come up- I'm just finishing getting ready."

He knocked on the door just a few minutes later, but let himself in as I approached.

"Hi." He pressed a kiss to my cheek, then reached down to my stomach. "Hi, Bump."

"Hello to you, too. You can have a seat." I gestured towards the living room, heading back into my room to finish getting ready. "So, what are the final guesses?" I called, raising my voice so that he could hear me. "Ugh, just come in here. I'm already dressed and everything."

Edward chuckled, but got up off the couch and leaned against the frame of my bedroom door as I did my makeup.

"Okay, official final guesses." He cleared his throat, looking at the list he had on his phone. "You, Emmett, and Alice all say boy. Charlotte, Peter, Rosalie, and I say girl."

"My dad and Sue said boy, too. And they're right, by the way. Bump is totally a boy."

"Nah, _she's_ a girl."

"Hmpf. Well, agree to disagree. Until the doctor confirms that I'm right, that is."

Edward rolled his eyes, but his grin remained. "You're going down, Swan."

We were both pretty convinced about the sex of the baby, and everyone else had been eager to place their bets. There was no actual prize, but I was sure Peter's birthday party would be where the winners mercilessly executed their bragging rights. His party was this coming Saturday, and their parents were flying into town Wednesday night. The family would also be having dinner on Thursday, and that was when Edward planned on telling them the news.

At this point, I was probably more nervous about it than Edward was. He had assured me that they would be thrilled that they were finally getting a grandchild. I didn't doubt that, and although Emmett, Peter, and Charlotte had all been so wonderful, I felt like I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Did your dad ever get back to you about when he's free next week?'

Edward's question was a welcome distraction from my own thoughts, and I scrolled through the texts on my phone until I found the ones from my dad about setting up a time to finally meet Edward.

I knew that my dad probably wished that I was married to or even just _with_ the father of my baby, but in the end, he swore it didn't really matter. He just wanted to know the father of his grandchild, and Edward and I both understood that. It was why both of us were going to such great lengths to become a part of each other's families. And before we knew it, Bump would be born and would fuse all of our lives together, once and for all **.**

"He said we could come over to the house on either Tuesday or Wednesday night."

"Night class on Wednesday, and I'm giving them an exam the following week, so I shouldn't miss that. So we'd better go with Tuesday, as long as that works for you."

"Tuesday it is. I'll let him know."

I sent my dad a quick test and then threw my phone in my purse, ready to go.

"You look really nice," Edward said.

I felt myself blush, but I was glad that he had noticed. My libido was still out of control, and even though there wasn't anything going on between us, at least I knew I didn't look like a total whale to him. Because he still looked incredible, and I spent way too much time appreciating that fact.

Luckily, we really did have to get going for my appointment now, so I didn't have too much time to think about how good a little sexual release would feel right about now.

… …

"Well, the baby is measuring within the correct range, and everything is looking good."

The ultrasound technician moved the wand lower on my belly, and I winced a little as she pressed down on my bladder. "Sorry, Bella. But I'm able to get a pretty good view- do you want to know the sex of your baby?"

"Yes." Edward and I practically answered in unison, but the technician didn't even bat an eye.

"Congratulations- you're having a girl."

… …

In the car, I couldn't stop looking at the sonogram. I could clearly make out the shape of my baby now- it wasn't just a fuzzy black and white picture anymore.

And it was a girl. I was having a girl. I had been so sure that Bump was a boy- I didn't know why, I had just been convinced. But Bump was a girl, and although I was ecstatic, I also suddenly felt very overwhelmed.

"I can't believe Bump is really a girl." Edward kept his eyes on the road as he drove me home, but he was smiling like crazy. "I mean, I thought she was, but to hear it for sure and find out that we're really having a girl- wow. I mean...wow."

"I know."

He reached over and patted my stomach, making me smile. "I guess we should start thinking about names, but I'm kind of going to miss calling her Bump."

"Well, we have plenty of time for names," I said, even though ideas had already started popping into my head. "She'll still be our Bump."

By the time we got back to my building, the rain was coming down even harder, and thanks to the cold weather, was starting to freeze.

"Come up," I said to Edward, peering out the passenger side window. "It's horrible out- I don't want you to have to drive all the way back to your house in this."

Edward eventually agreed, and we had to make a break for it to get inside.

And once we were finally upstairs, we were both freezing, soaked, and laughing.

"Let me throw your stuff in the dryer," I said, kicking out of my shoes. "I think I have some sweats that you can wear."

I found them in my room, and brought them out to Edward. He thanked me, and suddenly there was electricity in the air. I took one step closer to him, and then another, but before I could move any further his arms were around me. I looked up into his eyes, and I thought that I might have seen the same look I had noticed weeks ago- sadness. But I also saw the hunger in his eyes, and I knew it matched my own.

It took just about everything I had to turn away.

"Just toss your clothes in the dryer when you're changed," I said, hoping my voice wouldn't betray me.

"Okay." Edward cleared his throat. "Thanks again."

He went into the bathroom, and came out after a few minutes to put his stuff in the dryer.

I was in the kitchen, trying to distract myself but failing miserably. "I know we agreed it was early for names, but did you have anything in mind?"

The baby was a safe topic. Bump was something that we didn't have to try and avoid- she was everything to us.

"Not yet. You?"

I shook my head, smiling slightly. "You know, when I was a little girl, I had my whole family planned out, right down to the names. Now I'm actually going to have a baby, and I have no idea."

"It's kind of scary, knowing that we have to pick the name she'll be saddled with for the rest of her life."

"That's not the only scary part. Forget the name- everything depends on us."

Edward nodded, looking pensive. "Damn. You're right."

"What about your parents? Are you ready to tell them?'

"Yeah, definitely. It's kind of nerve-racking, but I know they'll be happy," he said. "Are you still okay with coming to Peter and Charlotte's this weekend? I want you to, but I also understand if you change your mind."

"No, I'll be fine." I tried to smile, but I _was_ nervous to meet them. And not to mention, I was still completely worked up from earlier. "It'll be great."

… …

Edward called late on Thursday night, just as I was drifting off to sleep. I fumbled for my phone, answering it on the fourth ring. "Hello?"

"Shit, Bella, I'm sorry. Were you sleeping?"

I reached over and turned my bedside lamp on and sat up. "No, no, I was just drifting off. It's okay. How did it go?"

"It was good. They were just kind of pissed I didn't tell them sooner. And now I feel bad."

"Well…I mean, yeah, you didn't tell them, but it's their first grandchild and you wanted to tell them in person. I think that's a good enough reason."

"Yeah, I guess. I think I'm just overanalyzing everything. But hey, they said they were looking forward to meeting you. My mom kept trying to get me to set something up tomorrow, so they could meet you before the party."

I had still been groggy, but now I was wide awake. "Oh. Well…I could do that."

"Are you sure? You don't have to."

"No, I'm sure. As long as you're okay with it, I mean. I don't want to step on any toes."

He sighed. "Bella, you're not. If you're okay with it, then I would love for you guys to meet tomorrow. It's up to you. Otherwise, I'll pick you up for Peter's party on Saturday and you can meet them then."

"Tomorrow is fine. Lunch?"

"Yeah, okay. How about noon? I'll pick you up."

"Sounds good," I said with a yawn.

"Alright, sounds good. Now get some sleep, Bella."

… …

Now that I was wide awake, I was nervous as hell.

I smoothed down the skirt of my dress, and saw that my hands were shaking. I had dressed simply, in a Bump-hugging short red dress, thick tights, and a pair of boots. I had put my hair up in a bun, and thanked the lord when I found that my favorite leather jacket still fit. If I didn't close it up, that was. I had kept my makeup minimal, but wore enough to try and make myself look more mature. I hoped it did the trick.

Ten minutes later, I was stepping out of my apartment building, looking for Edward's car. I saw it down the block, and attempted a smile as I got in.

"Hey, you look beautiful." Edward smiled at me, able to pull it off much better than I was. "Hi, Bump." As was customary, he have Bump a loving rub. "You nervous?"

"A little. Is it obvious?"

He chuckled. "Just a little."

"So, where are we going?"

"My parents have a favorite restaurant on the Hill- does that sound okay to you?"

Italian food _did_ sound good, and I told him so. We chatted the whole drive over to the restaurant, parking a few blocks away. The sidewalks were a little icy, and I held Edward's arm as we walked so that I wouldn't fall. I was already inherently clumsy, so adding in ice was just a recipe for disaster. We approached the entryway, and Edward placed his hand on mine for a moment. "That's my mom," he murmured, referring to the short, redheaded woman standing in the entryway with her back to us.

He opened the door, and she whirled around.

She was beautiful, and Edward looked just like her. It was obvious that he got the slight tinge of red in his hair from hers, although hers was a dark shade of red. But she had also passed her green eyes along to her sons, and her sweet smile.

"You must be Bella." She was wringing her hands together, looking between me and Edward. Her eyes fell to my stomach and widened. "Oh my, you really are far along!"

"Well, only-"

"She's eighteen weeks, Mom. Just like I told you."

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen."

I offered her my hand, and she shook it firmly. "It's nice to meet you, too. Why don't we go sit down? Edward, your father got us a table, see if you can find him…"

"He's over at a table against the wall," Edward said, spotting him quickly.

We headed over to sit down, and his father stood up when we approached. "Bella. It's so nice to meet you. I'm Carlisle, Edward's father." He shook my hand enthusiastically, and just like his wife, his eyes dropped to my stomach. But he didn't comment, just smiled.

Esme had already sat down, and the three of us quickly followed suite.

"So, Bella," Carlisle began after we had ordered. "Edward told us you're in medical coding."

"Oh, yes," I said, clearing my throat. "I am. I finished my program last May and I've been working from home. But I start nursing school at the university in the fall."

"I'm a doctor, and I can't even wrap my mind around all those different codes. That's some complicated stuff. And nursing school? That's a wonderful career path."

"Thank you. I'm looking forward to beginning."

Esme looked more skeptical. "How will you go to school? Isn't the baby due in August?"

"The baby _is_ due in the beginning of August," Edward said. "But Bella has still decided to start school that semester, even if she has to start a few weeks behind. She's very intelligent, and she'll have plenty of help with the baby."

"Well, and I still think that your father and I-"

"Mom, this is our baby," Edward said firmly. "You don't have to worry about this."

"Bella, Edward said that your father is in the area?" Carlisle focused on me, leaving his son and wife staring each other down.

I was a little confused, but answered Carlisle. "Um, yes. He lives about forty five minutes away from me. This is his first grandchild, too, so he's very excited."

"That's wonderful. Tell me more about nursing school. Do you have any idea what kind of nursing you'd like to go into?"

Carlisle and I talked for most of the meal. Esme and Edward joined the conversation on and off, and were perfectly nice to us, but would then glare at each other. There was obviously something going on between them, and neither seemed very happy with the other.

Once we were done and eating and Carlisle insisted on paying the bill, we headed out of the restaurant.

Esme caught my arm, and smiled at me. "Bella, it was nice to meet you," she said. "We look forward to seeing you tomorrow."

"Yes, Bella, it was wonderful," Carlisle added. "Thank you for answering all of my silly questions. You're a very smart girl, I can tell. We'll see you tomorrow, dear."

I told them both goodbye, and then Edward and I watched them walk to their car for a moment before heading the opposite direction where Edward had parked.

"I wasn't expecting that from my mom," Edward said as soon as we were in the car. "It's not you, trust me. It's me."

"Yeah, I thought that was a little odd."

"Don't take it personally. I would have warned you, I really would have, but I thought she'd be on her best behavior around you."

I nodded, staring out the passenger window. Esme had been polite, she had even asked me some questions about the baby. But she was obviously pissed at Edward, and wasn't letting it go. And Edward didn't seem to want to talk about it, either, so I didn't bring it up.

We were finally at a great place. I didn't want to do anything to mess that up.

… …

 _ **Almost**_ **cracked there, didn't see? What do you think- would it have been a good idea if she had kissed Edward like she wanted to? And we met Esme and Carlisle. Did they surprise you in the short time that we saw them?**

 **But more from Esme and Carlisle next chapter, don't worry! See you next week!**


	23. Chapter 23

**I hope everyone had a good weekend! We did, but it went by way too fast. As of today Zach is officially moved in to our new place, so that's a plus! We have way too much crap, but he doesn't start work until after our vacation in a few weeks so he gets to try and clean up and organize.**

 **Thanks for all your responses throughout this story! I'm so thankful for all of you. This chapter does have EPOV, by the way, towards the end. Still trying for extra updates but not sure when they'll be up. Up hopefully I'll be seeing you very soon!**

… …

Peter and Charlotte's house was in a quiet neighborhood made up of family homes with large yards. Cars lined the block, so we parked several houses away. Rosalie and Emmett walked ahead of us, their heads tilted towards each other and holding hands. Rosalie had been so nervous about today, but now that she was with Emmett, that nervousness seemed to have melted away. I was still a little nervous, but was trying not to show it.

Suddenly, I felt something. It wasn't what I had expected it to feel like, but there it was. I grabbed Edward's arm. "I just felt her move!"

Edward's hand immediately went to my stomach, even though we both knew good and well that he wouldn't be able to feel it yet. But I loved that he had tried. "Is this is the first time?"

"Yeah," I said breathlessly, feeling it again. "Oh my god."

"What's wrong?" Rosalie and Emmett had turned to face us, looking concerned.

"She felt the baby move," Edward called, and they were at my side in an instant.

"What does it feel like?"

I paused, wondering how to describe it. It felt so foreign, but it filled me with relief. We had been assured that Bump was healthy at doctor's appointments, but it was a whole other type of reassurance to feel her and know that she was really there. "It's like...a tapping. Not very significant yet, but definitely there."

Edward's hand was still on my stomach, and I covered it with mine. "It's amazing. I wish you could feel it."

"Soon. I'm just glad you can feel her now. I'll wait my turn."

"Her?" Rosalie was grinning ear to ear. "It's a girl?"

"Damn." Emmett pouted, but gave me a quick hug. "We were wrong, Bella."

Edward looked contrite, but I didn't mind that he had spilled the beans. They would have found out today, anyway. I just wished I wouldn't have to deal with the gloating, because I really had been convinced that Bump was a boy. "We should probably get inside- it's kind of cold out here." Rosalie and Emmett went ahead, and he turned back to me. "I'm sorry. I hope I didn't ruin a big announcement or anything."

"You didn't," I assured him. "Don't worry about it."

… …

Peter's birthday party was more enjoyable that I had thought it would be. Edward stuck by my side for most of the time, and I was thankful that he did. The Cullen's seemed to know an endless amount of people, and Esme and Charlotte were the perfect hosting duo.

With our permission, Emmett excitedly spread the news that we were having a girl, and it seemed like everyone at the party stopped to congratulate us.

At one point, Edward had excused himself to go get both of us something to drink, and he was gone for so long that I went looking for him.

Charlotte pointed me in the direction of the kitchen, and sure enough, I heard his voice when I approached. But I heard Esme's voice, too, and I paused in the hallway, just out of sight.

They were speaking in hushed tones- Edward's deadly calm and Esme's angry. I couldn't hear much of what they were saying over the noise of the party, but a few words from Esme stood out.

"Even after Savannah...how could...keeping us out...our family."

I heard my name, too, but then Rosalie came up behind me.

"There you are, Bella. Come on, let's keep each other company. I don't know where Emmett ran off to."

"Come with me to get a drink, first." I grabbed her hand, knowing that it would be a hell of a lot easier to interrupt Edward and his mother with Rosalie by my side.

I wasn't surprised, of course, to see Edward and Esme in the middle of Charlotte's spacious kitchen- Esme with her hands on her hips and Edward with his arms crossed over his chest. I was, however, shocked to see Emmett leaning against the counter and Peter and Carlisle seated at the island. The whole room seemed to tense even further when Rosalie and I entered, but Emmett quickly spoke up.

"Come on, beautiful ladies," he said easily, moving towards me and his girlfriend. "Help me avoid my Uncle Louis. The guy gives me the absolute creeps, and you're the only ones who can protect me."

I hesitated, looking at Edward. He forced a smile as he raked one of his hands through his already messy hair. "I'm sorry. Go on, Bella. I'll be right out, I promise."

"What was that all about?" Rosalie asked Emmett in a hushed voice as soon as we were safely out of the kitchen.

Emmett sighed, glancing over at me for a moment.

"They were obviously discussing me, so just spit it out." I hadn't meant to sound so harsh, but it wasn't exactly a good feeling to walk into a room full of people and know that I had been a topic of discussion, especially with how angry the conversation had seemed. Add this to the obvious tension between Edward and Esme the day before at lunch, and I was sick of feeling out of the loop.

"It's not how it seems," Emmett said quickly. "Mom and Dad are genuinely thrilled to hear that they are going to be grandparents soon. They- well, Mom really, is just fed up with Edward being so closed off. I guess this was just a breaking point. I'm sorry, Bella. No one intended to make you uncomfortable, I swear. And we didn't mean to turn Peter's birthday party into a sparring match. Things just kind of escalated, I guess."

Over the past few months, Emmett and I had started growing close. I was happy that my baby would have him for an Uncle, and we got along well. And now, his apology sounded so sincere that I immediately assured him that it was okay.

It wasn't really, of course, but Emmett was hardly the one to blame for that.

A few minutes later, Edward rejoined us, handing me the drink he had originally set out to get for me. He looked like he wanted to say something to me, but Esme and Carlisle approached before he had a chance to.

"Sorry about that, Bella." Carlisle spoke first, reaching out and gently touching my arm. "Family tensions seem even more extreme when we only see each other a few times a year. But this was hardly the time or the place."

"Yes, we apologize." Esme sounded a little more stilted than her husband, but I could see that she had been crying, too. "This is supposed to be a celebration. And not only are we celebrating our firstborn's birthday, but now we also know that we're going to have a granddaughter."

As always, Bump was a safe topic. Esme promised to send me some old baby clothes- they had belonged to Edward, but she assured me that there was plenty that was gender neutral. I was truly touched, and thought it was a nice gesture for her to offer Edward's baby clothes to his daughter. Carlisle answered a few more of my questions about working the medical field, and shared stories from way back in his days doing his rotation in obstetrics and in the NICU.

Esme was polite, just like she had been yesterday. She asked a few questions, especially about Bump but also about me. And I was surprised when she asked if I'd like to join her at the St. Louis Art Museum one day next week. I accepted, hoping that this was an olive branch, and that the comfortableness was passed.

As the party went on and the amount of guests lessened, harder alcohol was brought out and by the time we were ready to leave, Emmett and Rosalie were drunk. They were hilarious but also inappropriate in the backseat of Edward's car, but Emmett seemed to mainly be acting up to mess with Edward. He was succeeding, and after we dropped them off at Rosalie's, Edward let out a loud sigh.

"Today has been absolutely fucked." I didn't respond, and he sighed again. "Can I come up? I have some stuff to tell you."

I was shocked that he was voluntarily giving up information, but I tried to not let it show. Upstairs, I propped my elbows up on my kitchen counter and raised my eyebrows at him. "Go ahead."

… …

 **Edward Cullen**

The delight on my parents face when they heard that Bella and I were having a girl didn't seem to last long.

As soon as I excused myself to the kitchen to get Bella and myself something to drink, the rest of the family joined me. "What is this, an intervention?" I asked crossly. My father and brothers seemed to want to stay out of it, keeping to the sidelines and remaining quiet. My mother obviously didn't feel the same way, stepping close to me immediately.

"We're tired of this, Edward. We're you're family, and we want to be here for you. And despite the way we brought up moving back here, it wasn't really up to you. Your father and I had been considering it for a while, but now hearing that you're expecting a baby...it's final. We will be moving back."

"That's _fine_. I didn't think you were asking my permission. But you do have to realize that this is Bella and I's baby. You thinking that you'll be the automatic babysitter and that you can have the baby whenever you want is what I don't want. Bella and I are going to be parents, and we'll decide that stuff. Of course we want you to be involved. You'll be her grandparents and I know she'll love you so much. But this is my life-"

"Oh, _your life_!" She threw her hands up, cutting me off. "We know it's your life. Even after Savannah passed away, you wouldn't let us in. We know she was your wife, Edward, but we loved her, too. She was a daughter to us even before you got married. How could you push us away like that? We tried to give you space and let you have time to grieve but you never let yourself. And now you're keeping us out again, just like then. Can't you see that we are your family, and we're just worried about you? Does Bella even know-"

Now it was my turn to interrupt. "No! No, she doesn't. But it's none of your business."

We were still fuming when Bella and Rosalie came in, but I welcomed the interruption.

It wasn't that I didn't want to be on good terms with my family. I just felt smothered, and overwhelmed. And totally terrified by the realization that I didn't want to keep secrets from Bella anymore.

… …

 **So, the Esme vs. Edward mystery has been solved…but Edward still has to talk to Bella! He's finally going to fess up to a few things…not everything, but still, it's better than nothing! So more EPOV next chapter.**

 **Let me know what you thought!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Here's more from Edward! We're heading out of town tonight for a wedding on Saturday (which is also my birthday, boo). I have another chapter of this completely written but not sure if I'll be able to type it up before Sunday night or Monday. I'm working on the next chapter of Ineffable but with all the craziness this weekend I'm not sure it'll be posted tomorrow.**

 **Thanks for reading! Definitely let me know what you think of this chapter.**

… …

"I loved Savannah." I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. I didn't think I had ever said all of this out loud before, even though I had thought about it often. "I loved her so much that when she got sick, I didn't even think twice about taking care of her. It started…it just seemed like nothing. She had been getting headaches but we chalked it up to stress about the wedding."

I laughed dully. "That seems so silly. It was going to be the happiest day of our lives, but it was stressful. Then the day finally came and that stress was supposed to just go away. We were on our honeymoon in Napa Valley when it got worse. She couldn't stop throwing up, and she was so dizzy. I thought that she might be pregnant. It continued, and she finally agreed to let me take her to the emergency room after she fainted."

Bella was quiet as she listened, her eyes wide. She looked so young and so innocent that I hated she had to hear about this awful thing.

"We both thought it was nothing. But they ran all these tests and we were in the emergency room for hours. Then the doctor was suddenly very quiet and I think we both knew then that it was bad. He said…he said that she had a grade four asthocytoma tumor, or a gliobastoma. He told us that we should go home and get a second opinion immediately. We left that night, and everything changed. Thanks to my dad's connections, we got an appointment with one of the top oncologists in the area. And he gave us the same diagnosis. Glioblastoma- a malignant tumor on her cerebrum. He talked to us about treatment, but made sure we knew that there was no cure."

I heard her sharp intake of breath, and she covered her mouth with her hand for a moment. I knew it sounded awful- an untreatable brain tumor. Everyone's worst nightmare.

"The tumor grew and spread rapidly, even after she decided to try radiation treatment. I couldn't believe how fast it had all happened. We had just been married a few weeks before, looking forward to a life together. And all of a sudden, my wife had the most aggressive type of brain cancer and there was nothing that I could do. She had a horrible time, and the treatments she tried didn't even make a dent. The headaches and nausea continued, but soon those were the tamest of the symptoms. It wasn't long before she started having seizures. The doctor's warned us all along about personality changes…but that didn't sound so bad. I was wrong- that was one of the worst parts."

I hated thinking about this, but hearing myself actually say the words wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be. But it still cut deep, and I could feel myself getting choked up.

"The changes came and went, but she became an entirely different person part of the time. Part of me just wanted to hate her, because maybe that would have made it easier to bear. But I couldn't. I'd look at her and all I could see was the beautiful girl I had fallen in love with when I was fifteen. She kept suffering, and eventually we decided that it was time to stop trying the treatments. They didn't make enough of an impact, and Savannah felt like they were just dragging out the inevitable and making it even more painful."

"I had already taken the semester off from school, and was hell-bent on being the one to care for her. It was…horrible. Lucidity came and went, and when it went…she was unrecognizable. She said things that my sweet, tenderhearted Savannah would have never even thought of. Towards the end, she hated herself. She felt so guilty and she begged me to just leave her to die."

I shook my head, and I had to wipe the tears from my eyes. "Can you believe that? Dying a horrible death and she felt guilty that I had to put my life on hold to take care of her."

"She must have loved you very much," Bella said quietly.

"As awful as it sounds, it didn't feel that way."

I looked down at my hands, thinking about what it had been like. I had always thought that I would never be able to love again because of what that experience had done to me- and I had convinced myself that I wanted it that way.

But now I was going to be a father. It was an entirely different type of love, but it showed me that I was still capable. Because I did already love her. It was strange- I wouldn't meet her for months, and I didn't know her name, but I knew that I loved her more than I'd ever loved anyone or anything on this earth.

When Bella had first sat down acrros from me at the coffee shop and told me that she was pregnant, all I had been able to think about was that night in Napa Valley on our honeymoon, when I had thought that all that was wrong with Savannah was symptoms of pregnancy, instead of the horrible thing that it had really been.

Savannah and I had been together for almost a decade, and planned to spend the rest of our lives together, but we hadn't talked very much about starting a family outside of very basic ideas. We had agreed that it would be best to wait until I was done with school, or at least close to finishing. That meant that I could have been a father at twenty-eight, if our plans hadn't been annihilated by something that we had never seen coming.

I had allowed myself to briefly think about what it would have been like, if things had gone according to plan. If we'd had a baby around the time that we had discussed, that baby would be five years old by now- in or about to start kindergarten. I had wondered if we would have had a boy or a girl, and if I would have seen Savannah's beautiful smile on a sweet child's face.

Of course, now I would never know.

But I would know my daughter with Bella. I already loved her, and I would never stop.

"I'm sorry, Edward."

Bella put her hand on my arm, her eyes full of pity. Usually I would have hated that, but I had just shared with her things that I had kept to myself for a very long time, and I was surprised at how her response actually made me feel a little better.

I smiled sadly, and then reached out to feel Bump. "What's it like?"

Not seeming to mind that I had abruptly changed the subject, she covered her hand with mine and smiled.

"I don't know how to describe it, really. There are plenty of downsides- I'm starting to feel more discomfort and I'm tired more often than not. I'm not getting sick like I was in the first trimester, but I still have some nausea. And I'm scared, of course. Worrying about giving birth and suddenly being responsible for a whole other human. But it's also an amazing feeling, knowing that my body is already taking care of her and helping her grow. And feeling her move, knowing that she's really in there and that we'll get to meet her soon…" she trailed off, unable to find the word. "I can't wait for you to feel her."

"Me, either."

We stayed like that for a moment, until I finally pulled my hand away, knowing that there was more to say. "I'm sorry about today, Bella. I feel like I always have something to apologize for, but I really mean it. That wasn't supposed to happen, and even though we didn't intend to, I know we made you feel uncomfortable."

"Thank you. I wish there was something I could do, you know? But I don't even know what the problem is."

I knew she wanted me to tell her, and that she deserved to know. I just hated that my family drama had an effect on her now.

"My parents are happy for us, and they are excited. I think I mentioned this the other day, but they weren't exactly thrilled that I had waited so long to tell them. I mean, they got that I wanted to tell them in person, they were just…not happy that it had to be that way. So telling them went about as well as it could have…and then my mom started in."

"What do you mean?"

"She said that she and my dad would be moving back to the area as soon as possible. That's fine. I mean honestly it would be nice for them to be here again. But then she started talking about babysitting all the time and about all the best preschools in the area…she acted like she would be the one taking care of Bump and it struck a nerve. Then I thought about all the stuff she was bringing up, and how you and I haven't even gotten around to talking about it yet. She kind of made me panic."

Bella was quiet for a moment, looking thoughtful. "I'm very thankful for your parents are so excited, and I'm sure they will be wonderful grandparents. But I do understand where you're coming from- she's our baby and all of those decisions are up to us. So maybe we should start figuring them out."

"Of course." I checked my watch, seeing that it wasn't even seven o'clock yet. "Do you have plans tonight? We could order dinner and hash some things out."

Bella agreed, and we ordered delivery from a pizza place a few blocks away. There was a lot for us to figure out, and just the idea of it was overwhelming. So I was thankful when Bella suggested we come up with a list first, so that we could work to resolve all issues and concerns over the next few months.

It was terrifying to see how much we needed to do before Bump was born. Daycare, babysitters, buying everything she would need, insurance, pediatricians…the list went on and on.

And of course, the scariest thing of all was custody.

"I don't want to go through the courts- I think that we can handle this ourselves," Bella said. "But we still need to be smart about it, and cover all our bases. And if it becomes a problem, then we will have to take more drastic measures."

I agreed, relieved. I would have understood if she had felt differently, but I was glad we agreed on this. Of course, Bella still planned on starting school as soon as possible, so she would need additional help. My class schedule was tentatively set for the fall, so I should have been able to make adjustments, but I also had to think about my research and freelance work. Bella suggested that I look into paternity leave, but we knew that wasn't a long term solution and that we needed other options. We wouldn't be able to make the firm custody agreements we needed to until further in the future thanks to all the uncertainty about our schedules, but we were both open to being flexible and wanted to fairly split our time.

"Honestly, I think that daycare might be the best solution. I know that we have plenty of friends and family that had already said they would watch her, but for weekdays, daycare makes more sense. It'd be a consistent place every day while you and I have work and school, and we wouldn't be stepping on any toes. The last thing I want is your mom and, like, Alice fighting over who gets to watch Bump."

"Yeah, that would be a bloodbath. Let's both start looking into places. There might be something available through the university- with me as a faculty member and you as a student, we would definitely quality. But let's make sure it's the best option before we move forward with anything."

It was surprising how methodically we could get through most of the topics on our list.

It also made me think about how different this situation would be if Bella and I were actually together.

After everything, I had thought that I had given up. But now I wondered if there could be a sliver of hope left after all.

… …

 **Was that what you were expecting? Obviously there's still even more to the sad tale, but Edward's not** _ **quite**_ **ready to share yet.**

 **Next chapter coming as soon as possible.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Sorry about the slight delay! I had this chapter completely written in my notebook, but then I left it at work the other night! But here it is now, and I'm hoping to post again before I leave for vacation this weekend. We're going to the beach and it'll be super low key, so I'm bringing my laptop in the hopes of getting some writing done.**

 **Thanks to all of those who left sweet birthday wishes. Love you all.**

… …

Everything that Edward had told me weighed heavily on my mind for the next several days. I had known that it would be a sad story, but I hadn't been prepared for how much it had actually affected me.

And it turned out that my nervousness about going to the art museum with Esme had been unwarranted. She was extending an olive branch, and apologized for the tension going on before. It turned out that she was very easy to talk to, and she let me pepper her with questions about pregnancy, childbirth, and life with a newborn.

She even threw in some stories about how mischievous Edward had been as a little boy, making me practically shake with laughter.

We ended up going for lunch afterwards, and Esme asked if I would be comfortable with her contacting my friends and mother about helping throw me a baby shower.

I had hesitated; not because I didn't want Esme to be involved. It was because of the mention of my mother, who I hadn't spoken to in months and didn't even know that I was pregnant.

But I had just smiled at Esme and given her Alice's number, as well as Sue's. The two of them and Rosalie had already been talking about the shower, and I knew they would welcome Esme's involvement.

Later that day, when I was home and trying to get some work done, I couldn't focus. All I could think about was my mom, and how much it hurt that she didn't seem to want to be a part of my life anymore. I thought about calling her, but knew I wouldn't be able to handle it if the call went badly. Just a few years ago, my mother and I had been close. Back then, I would have never thought we'd have this kind of relationship. It was harder than I had thought it would be- doing this without my mom. I had others to lean on, who actually wanted to be there for me, but it just wasn't the same.

I vowed that I would never, ever put Bump in this kind of situation. I couldn't even imagine being that kind of mother.

… …

My dad seemed to like Edward.

I was relieved that he wasn't being rude or difficult towards Edward. I had honestly been a little worried that he'd have the archaic "hate the guy that knocked up my daughter" mindset, which was ridiculous. Yes, Edward was Bump's father, but I was also her mother. We had shared in creating her, and it wasn't a bad thing. She was unplanned, but never unwanted and certainly not a mistake that one of us should be blamed for.

My dad and Edward weren't just cordial, either. They really did seem to like each other, especially after the topic of baseball was brought up.

"Now they'll never stop talking," Sue whispered teasingly. "Come on, let's go into the living room and leave them to it."

I followed her into the living room, where we both sat down on the couch.

"You're getting big," she noted, smiling at my belly. "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good." I put my hands over Bump when I felt movement inside of me, wishing that I could feel it on the outside, too. "Getting kind of impatient to be able to feel her kicking more."

"Oh, bite your tongue. Just wait until she won't _stop_ kicking, especially when you're trying to sleep. Or when she uses your bladder as a punching bag."

She told me a few stories about her pregnancies, and even though we hadn't known each other for very long, it was becoming increasingly clear that Sue was turning into a maternal figure for me. I saw how much she and my dad loved each other, even though it had once seemed like I'd never see him with anyone other than my mother. But he and Sue were perfect for each other, and it wasn't even odd seeing them together anymore. Sue loved my dad, and she had already found a place in her heart for me, too. I appreciated that, probably more than she knew.

Dad and Edward eventually joined us in the living room, and I saw my dad smile when Edward sat down next to me and automatically rested his hand over Bump. It had become such a natural position for us, especially lately as we waited for Edward to be able to feel her kick, that we didn't even think about it anymore.

"So a girl, huh? Guess we were wrong, Bells," my dad said with a smile.

Edward laughed, and I couldn't resist elbowing him in the ribs as payback.

"Yep, a girl. I bet we could get her into baseball if we tried, Charlie."

"Of course. We'll start taking her to games right away, raise her right!"

I rolled my eyes, but really, I hoped that Bump could spend time with her father and grandfather together like that. I wanted us to be a family unit, and for her to never feel like she was being pulled in two different directions.

"Any name ideas?" Sue asked.

"Nothing yet. We've talked about a few, but we're hesitant to decide on anything before she's born," I explained.

"Before you were born, Bella, your name was supposed to be Marie, after your grandmother. Your mom even stenciled it on the wall above your crib when we painted your room. Then you were born, and you looked nothing like a Marie. So we went with my pick, Isabella, and kept Marie as your middle name. And it fit perfectly."

I noticed him and Sue exchange a glance after he finished talking, and he cleared his throat before speaking again. "Actually, Bella, speaking of your mother…"

"I haven't even talked to her since her birthday," I said quickly. "And I haven't told her…you know."

"That's okay," my dad said soothingly. "I just wanted to tell you that I heard from her lawyer yesterday. She's coming into town to take her things out of our old safety deposit box, and some items that are boxed up in the attic. I haven't heard from her personally, so I don't know if she'll contact you, but if she does, I didn't want you to be blindsided."

I nodded, willing myself not to get too emotional. "Okay. Thanks."

Edward gently took my hand in his when he saw that I was getting upset, and I couldn't stop myself from holding on tight.

"Do you think she will?" I finally asked. "She didn't even call me on my birthday, or over the holidays."

My dad grimaced. "I don't know, Bells. It might be hard for you, but honestly I wish she would. You used to have a wonderful relationship, and it's not fair how she has treated you since the divorce. I just don't want you to have regrets, honey."

"I know, Dad. I just…I don't know what I'm going to do."

… …

I thought about it a lot over the next few days, but when my mom actually called on Friday, I was still at a loss for what to say.

"Hi, Bella. It's me."

"Hi, mom."

I didn't think phone calls between mothers and daughters were supposed to be so awkward, but here we were.

"I don't know if your father bothered to tell you, but I'm in the area next week to take care of some things."

"Yeah, he mentioned it."

There was a pause before she spoke again, and her voice was sharper. "Well, was I going to hear from you?"

"I don't know, Mom. I've been busy, and well, you haven't exactly been keeping in touch."

" _I've_ been busy! The girls are in just about every extracurricular activity under the sun, and Phil has so many business deals going on that we're at a function or dinner almost every weekend!"

"Okay, I get it," I said, not wanting to hear any more about her new family and new life. "Maybe we can figure something out."

"Well, don't strain yourself," she snapped. "You know, some of the things I wanted to get out of the safety deposit box were for you, that your Grandma Marie left you. Maybe that will give you some incentive to actually see your mother."

I closed my eyes for a moment, hating this. Not only was what she saying hurtful, but did she know me at all? I would treasure the items that my grandmother had let me after she passed away, but unlike my other, who seemed to only place monetary value on them, I only wanted them as sentimental objects.

"I said we could try and figure something out." I tried to keep my voice calm, but I was probably failing. "All I needed to know was when you would be available, to see if I'd be able to see you."

"I fly in on Monday afternoon, and then I leave on Thursday morning. I'm staying at the Hyatt downtown."

"How about we meet at RED Kitchen," I suggested, naming the trendy restaurant located in the hotel. "Whenever would be best for you."

"Tuesday night would be fine, but I might prefer to just meet at RED Bar, instead. I do have quite a bit to do while I'm in town."

I hesitated, knowing that she'd be suspicious over why I didn't want to drink at the bar, but also that she'd clearly see that I was pregnant the moment she laid eyes on me. "I can't go to a bar, Mom."

"Why not?" She hesitated before adding, "you're over twenty one?"

"No, I know. I just…I'm pregnant, Mom. I can't drink."

There was another moment of hesitation before she spoke again. "Well, no wonder you didn't want to see me. You know I wouldn't approve."

"Why wouldn't you approve? I'm an adult, and I pay my own bills. I'm having a baby- there's nothing wrong with that."

"As your mother-"

I cut her off, furious now. "You know what? I don't think you should call yourself my mother and use that to ridicule my life choices. You stopped acting like my mother years ago. If you want to see me or have any part in my life ever again, meet me at RED Kitchen at seven on Tuesday. If not, don't contact me again."

She started to angrily reply, but I hung up before hearing what she was saying.

My chest was heaving, and tears were streaming down my face. I called Edward without a second thought, and he said that he would be over as soon as he could.

This time, when I saw him, I didn't even hesitate. I just kissed him.

It took a moment for him to react, but then he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close.

We kissed for several minutes, slow and sensual. When we broke apart, both of us were breathing heavily.

"What are we doing?" Edward murmured as he cupped my cheek with one hand.

"I don't know," I admitted, leaning into his touch.

"I still have feelings for you, Bella."

Before, hearing him say that terrified me. Now, it was still a little scary, but not nearly as much. And now I could admit that I felt something more for him, too.

"I…I have feelings for you, too. And I just couldn't ignore them anymore. But we can't-"

"I know. We can take our time; do what feels right. But I won't let you go again, Bella. I can't. Can you say the same?"

"Yes." I didn't hesitate in saying it, but I knew that there was more to it. "I was so happy when you finally opened up to me, Edward. I know it was hard for you, and it means so much to me. And I know that we still have so much to figure out, but I don't want there to be secrets between us. Not only are we going to be parents, but there's something special between us that I don't want to lose again."

I reached up and smoothed the little wrinkle that always appeared on his forehead when he furrowed his eyebrows, loving the feeling of his warm skin.

"Give me some time," he said quietly, stroking my cheek. "Please."

I nodded, because I knew this was truly hard for him and that he had never opened up about this to anyone before. But the fact that he was now willing to try meant everything to me, and I told him so.

… …

 **What do you think? Is Bella's mom going to meet up with her? Are you glad they kissed and at least** _ **discussed**_ **feelings?**

 **Only two chapters left after this one! There WILL be the sequel, but it won't post immediately after this is finished. I'm hoping to fit in a few more chapters of** _ **Ineffable**_ **before starting** _ **Three.**_

 **See you soon!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Thanks for reading! Only one chapter left! Like I've said already, I'll be posting a few more chapters of** _ **Ineffable**_ **before posting the sequel. But I won't make you wait too long!**

 **We're leaving for vacation tomorrow, but I have my laptop and my notebook so you'll still be hearing from me : )**

… …

I had been upset, but honestly not too surprised, when my mom ended up saying that getting together while she was in town wouldn't work after all. I knew that I couldn't put myself through this anymore, and that now I just had to put it behind me.

But I hadn't thought twice about calling Edward, and he had come over with a shoulder to cry on and a pint of the ice cream I had been crazing. We sat and talked, and I realized how _nice_ it was to be able to do this. And when I felt Bump kicking, I reflexively reached down, and was stunned to actually be able to feel the movement under my hands. "How shit, Edward. Feel her."

He did, and I saw the tears in his eyes when he felt our daughter moving for the first time.

And just like that, a crappy night turned into a great one.

… …

Edward watched me with an amused smile as I tried to get situated, making the thin paper covering the table crinkle obnoxiously.

I was closing in on twenty eight weeks now, and had definitely reached the point where I was just becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

"Don't laugh," I snapped, trying to scoot back. "This is your doing, too."

"I know, I know. I shouldn't laugh. Do you want some help?"

Before I could reply, the doctor finally came in, apologizing for the wait.

Luckily, the appointment was mercifully brief, and everything with Bump was perfect. I accepted a brochure about Lamaze classes so that we could find something that worked with Edward's schedule, hopefully in the next few weeks. I had been starting to dread getting on the scale, but the doctor assured me that I had only gained a healthy amount.

After the appointment, Edward and I stuck with our routine and stopped to get lunch.

"So, I told you that my parents would be in town this weekend, right?"

I nodded, taking another bite of my salad.

"They're house shopping. I think Dad was interested in a position at Mercy too, so if he gets that…then they'll probably going to need to move sooner rather than later."

"That's great. They sounded like they were really looking forward to moving back."

"Yeah, they are. They love California, but they have always missed St. Louis. And I know they kind of hated being away from everyone."

"I'm sure. And soon they'll have a granddaughter, too."

Edward laughed. "That's probably the biggest reason. So they are looking for a house, but they probably wouldn't be able to find one and close on it as soon as they would like. Even if Dad doesn't get hired at Mercy, Mom is already trying to schedule interior design clients so that she can fit the ground running once they do move. Basically, they're going to end up living in a temporary place for a while, even if it's just a few weeks. And I was thinking that maybe they could take over your lease."

I almost spit out my drink.

"What?!"

"Well, you've said you're still looking at new apartments and that you wanted to find a place before Bump got here…"

"Yeah, I would like to, but I'm not sure I'll be able to find one by the time she's born, let alone early enough to have your parents move in."

"I've been thinking about it a lot and I think that the best thing would be to have you move into my house."

He said it so nonchalantly that I just blinked at him for a moment, shocked.

"You want us to move in together?!"

"Why not? You're going to need a new space anyway, and I have more than enough room. And think of it this way- I'll be there to watch the baby if you just want to run an errand or go for a walk. Or if you need some time to study. I'll be able to help with late nights, too. And neither of us will have to feel like we're missing anything."

He made some really good points, and part of me had immediately wanted to jump on his offer when he had pointed out that he'd be able to help take care of Bump in the middle of the night or when I just needed a hand. But I also thought that living together was a _huge_ step, especially after we had had agreed to work towards a relationship with each other.

"I know it's a lot to think about, so take your time. But know that I've been thinking about this a lot, and I wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't think that it would be best for all of us."

I agreed to think about it, but I knew we didn't really have a lot of time on our hands. Bump's due date was creeping closer and closer, and there were still so many thinks we had to get done.

My baby shower was in a month, and hopefully that would take care of a large chunk of the things we needed. Andi f we did end up living in the same house, we wouldn't need double of everything. He said to take my time thinking about it, and I knew he really did want me to be sure before I answered either way, but the truth remained. Time was running out.

... …

Sue and my dad had invited me to dinner the next night- they had actually invited Edward, too, but he had a class.

So it was just the three of us, and I wasted no time bringing up Edward's suggestion to move into his house. If Sue and my dad were surprised, they didn't show it. Instead, they seemed to love the idea.

"You know, the offer to stay here for a while if you needed to after your lease is up still stands, but honestly, Bella you might be overthinking this. It sounds like a good option," my dad said. "If he has the space, and you're on good terms, it would probably be better for all of you."

Sue nodded in agreement. "Honey, I raised two kids, and let me tell you- if I hadn't had their dad there to help take some of the load, I would have gone crazy. I know that you and I haven't known each other for all that long, but I know that you're a wonderful woman and will be an incredible mom. If you had to, I have no doubt that you could tackle this on your own and still be incredible. But Bella, you won't ever have to do this alone. We're here for you, and more importantly, so is Edward. He wants to take care of his daughter _and_ her mother. Let him."

I hadn't quite thought of it that way, but Sue's words opened my eyes. Bump was just as much Edward's daughter as she was mine- and we had said all along that we wanted to be there for everything.

"I'll talk to Edward again."

"Good. I really do think it's a good idea, Bella."

"So do I," my dad agreed. "As long as you and Edward agree on it, and make sure that you have a contract made up for rent- to protect yourself. I like Edward and this is nothing against him, but it's common sense to cover your bases no matter what. And this will impact custody, too. If you're living together, you'd be able to go without a custody agreement, but it would be better to at least have _something_ on paper."

They continued to give me advice, and I listened dutifully. I didn't take their guidance and experience for granted, wanting to soak up as much information before I became a parent myself.

One of my biggest fears when I had found out that I was pregnant was about my relationship, as a mother, with my child. I saw how damaging it could be, and I was terrified that because of how things were between me and my mother, that I would come up short when it came to being a mother to Bump. I was terrified of my child ever feeling the way that Renee had made _me_ feel.

But now I saw that it was so much more than that- I didn't need my mom to make me a good mother. I had plenty of amazing women in my life that Bump and I could both look up to. I wouldn't let my past experiences drag me down anymore.

… …

Two weeks later, I signed a rent agreement with Edward. He had said, more than once, that I didn't have to, but I had insisted. He would only agree to a ridiculously low monthly amount, and while I had protested because I didn't think that it was fair to him, I knew that he was being kind and I appreciated it.

My apartment was a mess as I packed and tried to get the space ready for Esme and Carlisle. I worried that the space was way too small and not as they as they would have gotten otherwise, but they and Edward all assured me that it was perfect. I didn't know about _that,_ but the timing certainly was perfect- my lease was up at the end of September, right after they were due to move into a new construction home just a few miles away from where Peter and Charlotte lived.

Edward had offered to hire a moving company, but it wasn't necessary. I was leaving all of my furniture for his parents to use, and once they were in their new place, it would go into storage in case I needed it in the future. So after I had packed all of my personal items, clothes, and items I already had amassed for Bump, there weren't too many boxes.

Instead of a moving company, Jasper and Emmett carried my boxes down their trucks, Edward loaded up all of Bump's things, and Alice, Rosalie, and I reminisced.

"This was a great apartment," Alice said, looking around. "But I'm excited for your next chapter, and I know you are, too."

"I am," I agreed, but I couldn't stop sniffling."

Rosalie patted me on the back sympathetically. "Moving and pregnancy hormones aren't a great combination, huh?"

"I can't believe you're moving in with Edward. Are you excited? Nervous?" Alice plopped down on the couch, just like old times, waiting for the dish.

"Kind of nervous." I smoothed down my shirt, relieved that Bump seemed to be finally giving her recent crazy kicking a rest. "It's going to be weird, you know?"

Rosalie scoffed. "It doesn't have to be. You guys are friends, too, you know? You get along great. And you're both committed to raising your daughter. It won't be weird." She studied me for a moment, and then a smile spread over her face. "That is, of course, unless things have changed. If you're not just 'co-parents' anymore."

"Well…things _have_ changed," I admitted. "More accurately- they haven't really changed yet, but we've talked about it and we both want to be more than just friends…and Bump's parents, to each other."

Alice squealed, throwing her hands up in the air. "Finally!"

I wanted to roll my eyes at her, but the smile on my face was too big.

… …

I walked into the room, looking around. It had lots of windows, and there were paint swatches on the wall. Edward stood in the doorway, watching me.

"It's perfect," I told him, going to the big bay window and looking out into the backyard.

"Good. I was hoping you'd think so." Edward stepped into the room, joining me at the window. "This was actually my room when I was younger. I always loved all the windows, and that it looked over the backyard."

I smiled, loving that our daughter would get to grow up in the very same room as her father had.

"And the paint?" I asked, nodding over towards the swatches on the wall. "Had you decided on a color?"

There were three paint colors- a pale pastel yellow, a muted pink, and a soft, hazy lilac. I knew which one was my favorite, but I wanted us to both have a say.

"Well, I did this before we decided you'd live here, so I already bought the purple paint, but if you line of the other ones better or want to pick a new color entirely, that's okay-"

"Edward," I laughed, cutting him off. "I love the purple."

… …

Over the next few weeks, we fell into a routine. Edward was busy during the day, trying to get work done before he went on paternity leave. I spent a lot of my time unpacking and trying to get situated, and luckily getting used to Edward's home wasn't as hard as I'd thought it would be. He tried to get me to redecorate, or at least rearrange some things, in an effort to make me feel more at home. But I loved things the way they were, and was more focused on the nursery, anyway.

Emmett had helped Edward paint the weekend after I had moved my things in, and I still loved the color of the walls. We had gone furniture shopping twice- once with Alice and Sue, and then once with Esme, and after _those_ ordeals I had put my foot down and insisted on ordering everything else online.

So far we had the crib and the changing table, which had taken my dad and Edward the better part of an afternoon to put together.

I had started hanging up clothes in the closet, and it seemed like there was a mountain of onesies, socks, and god knows what else sitting on the rocking chair that Edward had surprised me with, which couldn't be put away until the chest of drawers we had ordered arrived. A plush rug covered most of the hardwood floor, and pictures sat propped up against the wall, waiting to be hung.

It was all coming together.

… …

"Get a move on!" Alice groaned, putting her hands on her hips. "You can't be late to your own baby shower!"

"Watch me," I snapped back. "None of my clothes fit!"

Alice was used to my crazy moods by now, especially as I got further along. Unfortunately, that also meant that she wasn't afraid of the moods like Edward was.

"We decided on that pink dress just last week, and it was still a little big."

She found it hanging in the closet and pulled it out. I frowned as I reached for it. "This is the one we chose? I thought it was more loose."

"Bella, you're in your third trimester. You're not fooling anyone- you have a bump. You can wear a tight dress! And anyway, you look pretty freaking amazing for someone who's due to pop out a baby in less than two months."

"Fine."

I took the dress from her, and once I had changed, even I had to admit that it didn't look bad.

Once we were in the car and on our way, I reached over and squeezed her hand. "Sorry for being so moody. I really do appreciate all of your help."

She smiled, squeezing my hand back. "I know, Bella. It's okay. Just know that I'm going to be ten times worse."

… …

Esme, Sue, and Rosalie were all at the venue already when we got there, and were greeting the guests that had started to arrive. I almost cried when I saw how beautiful they had managed to make the space, and even though I had at first hated the idea of having a shower and being at the center of attention, I was blown away and incredibly thankful. I also couldn't believe how many people were here. I didn't know every single person, as Esme and Sue had both invited a few of their closest friends and some of Edward's relatives, but knowing that everyone was here to celebrate Bump was a wonderful feeling.

We had a light lunch, and the baby games that Alice had planned weren't nearly as bad as I had thought they would be. We spent most of the time talking, and as always I was grateful for all the advice and insight I could gain from women who were already mothers.

When Rosalie announced that it was time to open gifts, I was surprised to see Edward walk in.

"What are you doing here?" I cried, hugging him.

He kissed my cheek. "They said I could come for gifts, and cake if I behaved myself."

I was glad that he was here, because once I sat down by the gift mountain, all eyes were on us. Edward offered to be the one to hand me the gifts, but Esme shooed him away. "I'll do that! Sit down; open the gifts together!"

I couldn't believe how generous everyone had been. We received everything we needed- and more. Edward got a kick out of all the toys, and grinned at the St. Louis University shirt one of his aunts had gotten us. Alice, of course, went overboard, and bought clothes sized from newborn all the way to eighteen months. Esme and Carlisle had gifted us with a set of baby monitors that could be synched up with our phones, as well as a stroller that looked way more complicated than I could have ever imagined one of those could be. It seemed like Emmett and Rosalie had bought out the toy section of a department store, and I knew Emmett would be playing with Bump as often as he could judging by the selection of construction themed toys. My dad and Sue bought us a two-year diaper subscription and the expensive diaper bag I'd been eyeing for the past few weeks. Peter and Charlotte's gift made me bust out laughing- a wine club membership and subscription that Charlotte explained was for me after Bump was born.

By the time we left and lugged all of the gifts back to the house, we were both exhausted. Edward ordered Chinese food to be delivered, and we both flopped onto the couch after we had finished eating.

I leaned into his chest and closed my eyes, loving how comfortable this felt.

Before I knew it, I was drifting off to sleep. I felt Edward stroking my hair, and kiss my forehead, and I knew that I wanted to always fall asleep just like this.

… …

 **I just want to give a reminder that Edward still hasn't told the whole story and that's why they have yet to move forward. I know it hasn't been discussed yet, but I'm not spoiling anything by revealing that Edward** _ **has**_ **been seeing a counselor over the past few weeks in the story. They'll talk more about that. And honestly, there's no rush between them. They want to be together but they're about to have a baby, and that's the most important thing right now. Bella also doesn't want to force Edward to tell her everything especially after she had also been very closed off at the beginning of the story.**

 **See you again soon!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Hey, all! I am officially back from vacation! We had a great week, even though it was full of sweat, bug bites, and sand in awful places. And one car accident- the first one I've ever been in. We got rear-ended by someone texting and driving. I'm not old enough to get a rental car, so luckily Zach was the one driving and he was the one who got to deal with all the phone calls and paperwork. But no one was hurt and everyone had insurance, so it will be a-okay.**

 **This is the final chapter of this story, but it is not the end! The sequel,** _ **Three,**_ **will post in a few weeks. So you have twenty seven more chapters of these guys even after this part of the story ends!**

… …

"Looks pretty good in here."

Edward leaned against the door to the nursery, his laptop bag still slung across his shoulder. He had just gotten home from work, and looked about as worn out as I'd been feeling lately.

I'd been sitting in the rocking chair by the bay window for most of the afternoon, relieved that I'd finally put the finishing touches on the room. Bump was due in less than three weeks, and all there was left to do was wait.

"It's finally done," I told him. "Just missing her."

His smile grew as he stepped closer to me. "You feeling okay? You look tired."

I closed my eyes as he pressed a kiss to my cheek. "Just hot."

Summer had set in, the full force of the heat and humidity blanketing the city. My level of discomfort rose along with the heat, adding to my impatience.

"I was going to make dinner- do you want to come join me?"

Spending time together while Edward cooked dinner had become somewhat of a ritual in the past few weeks. I would sit at the counter while Edward cooked, and the conversation always came easily. Sometimes I felt had that he was always the one cooking after being at work all day, but I was exhausted more often than not lately and he insisted that he didn't mind.

Tonight was no different, and Edward watched as I eased myself into the chair, looking sympathetic.

"I'm fine," I assured him. "It's just hard to move around."

"Not much longer though."

I nodded, rubbing Bump. "I know."

He knew how excited I was, but also that the nervousness was really starting to set in, too. I knew that he was nervous as well but hid it much better than I did. Knowing that we would be parents soon and that there was no going back kept me awake at night, and I worried that I would do something wrong. Esme and Sue had taken me to lunch a few days ago and had tried to quell my worries, but the anxiousness remained.

"Try to relax."

Edward smiled soothingly at me. "You're going to be a great mom, Bella. It's scary for me, too, but we have to just take everything one thing at a time. I know it'll be overwhelming, especially at first, but…she'll be worth it.

… …

I was tossing and turning in bed, unable to get comfortable. I had been up most of the night, not really falling asleep until hours later, and now I was awake again.

Finally I just gave up and sat up in bed. The black out curtains on the windows didn't allow the sun to give me any indication of what time it was, so I reached over for my phone and looked at the display. Almost ten o'clock- much later than I had thought. But I still felt like I hadn't slept at all, and my back ached more than usual.

Edward was already gone for the day- the summer class he was teaching didn't have their final exam until early next week. The big house was empty, and lonely. I couldn't imagine Edward living here alone for so many years.

Sue and I had lunch plans at eleven, so I forced myself to get out of bed and start getting ready. At this point in my pregnancy, I was used to being uncomfortable, so I tried to ignore it. By the time Sue came to pick me up, though, I was unable to ignore it any longer.

"I think I'm in labor," I said as soon as I opened the front door to let her into the house.

Her mouth dropped slightly, but she recovered quickly and ushered me into the kitchen.

"Are you having contractions?"

"Yes- and they're actually regular and getting stronger."

I'd been having Braxton-Hicks contractions over the past few weeks, but this was different.

She stepped back and studied me for a moment. "It looks like your belly has dropped, too."

I sunk down into a kitchen chair, and Sue immediately crouched down beside me. "How far apart are the contractions?"

"About twelve minutes."

"Okay. Okay, good. And your water hasn't broken?"

I shook my head.

"Okay. Then you can just settle in- you've got a ways to go.

The next hour was a little nerve-wracking, but having Sue with me helped immeasurably. When the contractions started coming a little less than ten minutes apart, I called Edward.

"Hey, what's up?" He answered the phone in a hushed, hurried voice, and I knew that he had stepped out of his class to take my call.

"Hi. Um, don't freak out, but I'm in labor. But Sue is with me, and my contractions are still almost ten minutes apart."

"What…holy shit, Bella."

I laughed. "I know."

"I'll leave right now-"

"No," I said, cutting him off. "That's okay. The contractions are still far apart and my water has broken. There's time."

Sue reached out for the phone. "Hey, hold on, Sue wants to talk to you."

I listened as they talked, and as I sat there, the enormity of what was happening seemed to crash down on me. I was having the baby. Bump was coming, and in no time at all, Edward and I would be parents.

Even though it was still a scary thing, it now seemed at least a little bit less overwhelming. I knew that we could do this, and that in the end, there would be no question as to whether or not it was all worth it.

Sue handed me my phone back after a few more minutes, and held my hand when the next contraction hit.

"Edward said that he's going to end his class at the halfway mark, so he'll be here in less than an hour. If things speed up, he'll meet us at the hospital, instead."

"Okay. Can you call Dad for me?"

She did, and although my dad wanted to leave work right away, Sue managed to convince him to just meet us at the hospital later.

Television and movies always make labor seem like a rushed, panicked event. In reality, my doctor had told me to sit tight until my water broke or the contractions were closer together, so I had a lot of waiting to do. Even though Bump wasn't supposed to come for almost three more weeks, I already had my hospital bag ready by the door. I texted Rosalie and Alice to let them know what was going on, and Sue took care of calling work for me. Then we just had to wait.

I was pacing around the living room when I heard the garage door open, and Edward burst into the room a few minutes later. "Are you doing okay?" He asked, glancing between me and Sue. "How far apart are the contractions?"

"She's doing great," Sue said.

"I'm fine. They're about eight and a half minutes apart. You didn't have to rush home-"

"I didn't want to miss another moment."

We smiled at each other, and I really was glad he wanted to be here for all of it.

Thankfully, things started to progress a little quicker after that. A little over an hour later, my contractions were much closer together, and we left for the hospital. Sue sat with me in the backseat, holding me hand while Edward drove. And by the time I was settled in at the hospital, my water had broken, too.

My dad had already come in to see me, and so had Emmett and Rosalie. Alice was coming after she got off work, and even though I told them it might be a long day and night, they all insisted that they would stay in the waiting room. Now it was just Edward and I, and I clung tightly to his hand.

"You're doing great," he said quietly, running a towel over my already sweaty forehead. "Do you need anything? I could go get-"

I shook my head, squeezing his hand even tighter. "No. Please don't go."

"Okay. I'm not going anywhere."

"We never picked out a name."

He laughed, shaking his head. "No, we didn't. I thought we'd have a little more time, to be fair."

"She already has her own agenda."

"God help us if that's true."

"I liked your pick."

His eyebrows furrowed. "No, you didn't."

"I was just mad that you picked the perfect name. I loved the name."

"Yeah? How long were you gonna let that go on?"

I smiled slightly. "Until right now, I guess."

… …

Several more hours passed, with visitors coming in and out. Esme came with Peter and Charlotte, promising that Carlisle would be by to wait it out with them after his shift was over. My dad spent a lot of time at my side, looking almost as anxious as Edward did.

It was almost seven o'clock at night before the doctor came in and told me that I was almost ready to push. I was thankful for the epidural I'd already received, although I was probably still crushing Edward's hand.

But he never complained, and coached me every step of the way.

And then suddenly, she was born.

… …

 **See you for the sequel! As I said above, it will be posted in a few weeks and will be another full length story. More EPOV, more baby, more story! I hope you enjoyed this one, and as always, thank you so so so much for all of your support and love. I couldn't do it without you guys, and you all mean the world to me. Thank you for joining me in these stories, and I sincerely hope that you'll stick around for the sequel!**

 **In the meantime…baby name predictions?**


End file.
